Are You Ten Years Ago?
by insaneantics21
Summary: Rachel got the hell out of Lima, Ohio immediately after graduation, breaking Quinn's heart in the process, and never looked back. Now, ten years later, she's back and Quinn is the one to show her the aftermath and the pieces of what she left behind.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Are You Ten Years Ago?  
**Major Characters/Pairings:** Quinn Fabray-Puckerman, Beth Puckerman, Noah Puckerman, Jr., Jasper Puckerman, Rachel Berry, Finn Hudson/OC, Mentions past: Quinn/Puck, Rachel/Puck, Rachel/Quinn  
**Minor Characters/Pairings:** Mike/OC, Matt/OC, Artie/Tina, Rachel's dads Mentions: Brittany/Santana, Mercedes/OC, Kurt/OC  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Summary:** AU beginning after 'Funk'. Rachel got the hell out of Lima, Ohio immediately after graduation, breaking Quinn's heart in the process, and never looked back. Now, ten years later, she's back and Quinn is the one to show her the aftermath and the pieces of what she left behind - all the while trying desperately not to fall back in love with her ex-girlfriend.  
**Warnings:** Pre-story character death discussed in detail.  
**Author's Note:** Holy sweet Jesus, this took a long time. I kept getting distracted by other things and it just kept getting shoved on the back burner but now it's done and here and I don't have to mess with it anymore, yay!

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**-Chapter 1-**

When Quinn Fabray Puckerman got the invitation to her ten year class reunion in the mail she scoffed at it and tossed it in the trash. Almost everyone knew what happened to her and she knew what happened to anyone she ever cared about in high school.

Finn went to OSU and met and married a woman named Kelsey and moved back to Lima to teach gym and coach sports at McKinley. Santana and Brittany had miraculously made it out and were living a happy life in Boston as a general surgeon and dance teacher, respectively. Tina and Artie were still in Lima and running their own pharmacy. Mercedes got married and moved to New York as did Kurt where he met his partner and once there Kurt re-teamed up with Mercedes and they started their own clothing line that was now being recognized all over the world. Mike and Matt had both played college football before they each got married and moved back to Lima where Matt was part owner of a Chevrolet dealership and Mike was managing a bank.

As for Rachel? Rachel Berry [Gold Star]? Rachel had a Grammy, two Tonys, an Oscar nomination, an Emmy, a failed marriage, and two albums under her belt…and a little of Quinn's heart still clenched in her fist after having brutally ripped the organ from the blonde's chest.

Quinn stared at the discarded invitation for a few moments longer before her trance was broken by the cries of reality. Reality, this time, had taken the form of her youngest son just waking up from his nap. Stepping away from memories of head-Cheerio and a short, brunette diva-to-be, and back into the mother role, Quinn made her way from the kitchen and down the hall to her sons' bedroom. Jasper looked up at her with tears in his eyes and a wide smile at his mother's presence. Quinn smiled back at her baby boy, sitting up on his own (a new development and complete miracle), and she picked the four-year-old up and dried his tears. She wished he hadn't inherited Puck's build because the boy was going to get even more difficult to lift as he got older, the doctors and therapists said. Quinn, however, was still holding onto hope that he would continue get better and lifting wouldn't even have to be considered.

The racecar themed clock on the wall showed 1:30, meaning to Quinn that she had an hour and a half to get to the store before school let out. She brushed through Jasper's hair, grabbed her purse and Jasper's bag, and slipped her shoes on. She made sure to lock and deadbolt the front door and looked around nervously before going to her van that was on its last leg and lifting Jasper into his car seat and strapping him in. The route to Pick-n-Save was one she could drive with her eyes closed as was the path she would take through the store with her eyes on the wallet in her purse containing her employee card for that life-saving 10% discount.

After getting Jasper into a cart and checking once again that she had her wallet she headed inside and nodded to each cashier with a small smile.

"Hey boss," they all greeted her.

"Couldn't stay away for one day, could you?" a young girl just out of high school, Nicole, asked with a smile.

"I just missed you all so much," Quinn replied, her tone sincerely bright. She smiled at the store manager who was making his way up to one of the cash registers. He gave her a big smile and patted Jasper on the head, earning him a gurgle from the young boy.

The blonde made her way through the store and was in the boxed food aisle when Jasper started whining and reaching insistently for his bag.

"What do you need baby?"

Jasper babbled incoherently.

"Use your words," Quinn said. She reached over to grab a few boxes of macaroni and cheese.

"Want!"

"What do you want?" Quinn pushed the cart further down the aisle and grabbed two boxes of generic Hamburger Helper.

"Joo!"

"What kind of juice? Apple or orange?"

Jasper was quiet for a second and Quinn repeated herself.

"Tell me baby, apple or orange?"

"App!"

Quinn smiled and kissed her son's forehead. "That's my good boy. We're getting there, aren't we?" She stopped the cart and rummaged around in the backpack and pulled out an apple juice box and stuck the straw in it. Jasper concentrated for a moment before clasping it with both of his hands; Quinn kept a hold of it until he was sure with his grasp and started happily sucking away.

"What do you say to Mommy?"

"Mmm!"

"No, come on."

With the attention on her son, Quinn lost focus on where she was headed and only looked up when her cart collided with another. The sudden jar caused Jasper to drop his juice box and promptly start crying; Quinn groaned and muttered a soft "damn" under her breath.

"I'm so sorry," she said in the general direction of the other cart's driver as she knelt down to pick up the juice box. Never one to waste, she pulled out a cleaning wipe from the backpack and cleaned off the box and wiped the straw with her shirt. It wasn't sanitary but an extra juice box meant an extra thirty-five cents and maybe it didn't sound like much but, added up over time, it was enough.

"It's okay," a female voice came.

Quinn finally looked up at the other woman and the friendly smile she intended to give turned into a look of complete disbelief. This was _not_ what she needed right then. Or ever.

"Rachel…"

"Quinn…Hello, how are you?"

"I'm…" Quinn took a deep breath. 'Exhausted' didn't cover it. 'Emotional wreck' wasn't really appropriate for forced conversation. 'Stretched so thin that I'm lucky if I get to sleep more than four hours uninterrupted' seemed a little too detailed. "Fine," she said when she exhaled. "How are you?"

"I'm doing quite well, thank you," Rachel said with a smile. "You look like you have your hands full."

Quinn looked down at Jasper who was again happily sucking away on his juice box, his eyes a little red from the almost-tantrum. Rachel didn't know Jasper. She didn't know Noah Jr. She barely knew Beth. She didn't know anything about Quinn's life anymore. They hadn't spoken since just after graduation. 'Hands full' was a complete and total understatement.

"Yeah," was all she could think of to say. "A little."

"I'm in town for a little vacation and of course the reunion," Rachel said, still smiling, obviously unaware of the look Quinn knew she had that screamed 'get me the hell out of here'. "I haven't talked to anyone in so long; it will be wonderful to get caught up."

"Everything's the same as you left it," Quinn couldn't help but hiss, just enough venom in her voice for Rachel's shoulders to drop a little and her smile to fade.

"Not exactly the same," Rachel noted quietly.

"Puckerman!"

Quinn turned around at the sound of her married surname and her boss approached her.

"Can you come in on Saturday?" the old man asked.

Quinn saw Rachel's eyes dart to the man's nametag with "Pick-n-Save" etched on it.

"I…I don't know," Quinn said. "I would have to ask my babysitter."

"We need to get the inventory finished up and put into the computer. You're the best one I've got for inventory, you know that. You get double overtime."

Quinn sighed. She needed the money and she knew someone in town would be able to watch the kids, she would just have to work her way through her list of friends.

"I'll do it."

"You're a life saver, sweetie. Tell whoever rings you up to give you an extra ten percent off, okay? Dinner still on for Wednesday?"

Quinn nodded and smiled appreciatively. Her boss knew her story. He knew her situation. He was like the father she never really had. He and his wife invited her family over for dinner on a weekly basis and he told her how much she reminded him of his daughter who had long since moved away from home. He assured her that one day she would be managing the store if she could get some college classes under her belt. While she really appreciated it, the foreseeable future didn't show her as manager of anything. College was the last thing on her mind. Even if she did get there, "Manager of Pick-n-Save" wasn't what she wanted as a job title for the rest of her life.

The blonde almost forgot that Rachel was standing there until she turned around and the short brunette was looking at her. The expression on Rachel's face was unreadable. She'd just found out more about Quinn than Quinn ever intended for Rachel to know. First and foremost that…

"So you and Noah?" Rachel finally asked.

Quinn swallowed hard. Puck wasn't something she talked about. Not anymore. So all she did was nod.

"That's…good for you guys," Rachel said with a smile. "I'm happy for you. How long have you been married?"

Quinn was stunned. The thought hit her that if Rachel didn't know they were married then she also didn't know…anything else. The blonde wondered exactly how often Rachel spoke to her dads. It wasn't like they didn't know, either. Everyone knew.

"About a year after graduation," Quinn said, "I got pregnant again we figured if we were going to keep having kids together we might as well get married so we did. Speaking of which, I need to go. School lets out soon and I still have shopping to do. Nice seeing you." Sure that the answer would pacify the diva's curiosity, Quinn gripped tight to the handlebar of her cart and fixated her gaze ahead. The familiar burning behind her eyes intensified a little as her peripheral vision caught Jasper with a smile, his father's smile, and she pushed the cart forward to get away from any more questions. Any more reminders than she already had.

She was stopped by a soft, small hand on her arm. "Quinn, I haven't seen you in ten years! I know…I know things weren't left on the best of terms but I would like to see you while I'm here. Would you like to have dinner this week?"

"I have three kids, Rachel. I can't just go out and have dinner."

"Can't Noah watch them?"

Silence. Deafening silence as Rachel obliviously looked into Quinn's eyes, now brimmed with tears, and smiled a little.

"No, he can't," Quinn said softly. "I have to go."

Quinn ignored Rachel's call to her as she walked toward the dairy case and wiped away the tears that had slipped out of her eyes. She avoided Rachel's gaze when they met as she walked up and down the other aisles and got what she needed. Rachel gave her a little wave while Quinn was at the registers and the blonde tried desperately hard to hide the piece of plastic with "Ohio State Benefit Identification Card" stamped on it as she handed it over to Nicole as well as her employee card. She looked over her shoulder at Rachel who was walking by slowly with _that look_ on her face when the cards were handed back. The look that Quinn had seen so many times when she would hand over her card and someone behind her would see it and her with her kids. The look of sympathy for a young, exhausted mother handing over her government assistance card.

It took Quinn four tries to get her van started and she sighed and made a note to take it to Burt Hummel when she got the chance. She knew he either wouldn't charge her if it was something he could just fix right there or he wouldn't tack on labor if he had to order parts. Quinn had resigned her pride long ago and she would always take whatever she was given by those that offered their help: Car service from Burt, discounts at the store, free babysitting from Finn and Kelsey, offers of great deals on cars she knew she couldn't afford from Matt, discounts on what she had to pay out of pocket for the kids' prescriptions and any supplies Quinn needed for Jasper from Tina and Artie, breaks and extensions on payments at the bank from Mike. From her parents? A glance at each of the Puckerman children if they were seen in public before shaking their heads and turning away. It was usually followed by a growl from Beth before she took Noah's hand.

The blonde really, honestly felt sorry for her only daughter. It wasn't Beth's fault that she had been born first and the responsibility for Noah came with it more than Quinn wanted it to. The twelve-year-old girl had dark brown hair and hazel eyes, the only one out of the three to get her mother's eyes, and she was the single most patient person that Quinn knew. Beth knew how to deal with Noah's mood swings and how to keep him calmed down if it was one of those days when the boy didn't want to deal with his life. What nine-year-old would want to live the life he was in?

The first stop after the grocery store was the elementary school, Noah climbed in the back and took his seat next to Jasper and buckled in. He crossed his arms over his chest and let out an exasperated sigh, telling Quinn that today hadn't exactly been ideal.

"How was your day, sweetie?" Quinn asked once she was out of the elementary school traffic and headed to the middle school.

"Fine," the young boy answered with a distinct growl.

"What's wrong?"

"Stupid career day is next week."

"Oh." Quinn paused. "Why don't you see if maybe one of your aunts or uncles could come in? I'm sure Aunt Tina or Uncle Artie would come in and talk. Or maybe Uncle Mike could talk about all the money at the bank. I could talk to Uncle Matt or Mr. Hummel and see if he would come talk about cars?"

They went through the same thing last year. Luckily Santana came in on vacation and Quinn convinced her to go with Noah and talk about being a surgeon. She was the best one there, Noah had said, because she talked about guts and gore and blood in vivid detail and even got the Lima hospital to let her bring in some of their preserved organs. Unfortunately, the Latina had already said she wasn't going to be in town anytime soon.

"I want Aunt Santana to come again."

"She's not going to be here Noah. I'm sorry but we'll have to find you someone else."

Quinn sighed at her son's defeated groan. "I guess Uncle Mike would be cool if he brings us all a thousand bucks."

"I wish, baby."

Beth quickly hopped into the van when Quinn pulled up at the middle school. The girl waved goodbye to her friends and shifted uncomfortably in her seat as they drove away.

"How was your day, baby girl?" Quinn greeted her daughter.

"It was okay. The class hamster got loose so we had to chase it all around the school until we got it." Beth smiled. "And Jeremy Hutchins smiled at me."

"Jeremy who, now?"

The girl giggled. "Jeremy Hutchins. He moved here a couple months ago. Bailey says that Jessica told her that Nathan said he overheard Naomi and Ashley talking that they heard Jeremy tell Kyle that I was cute and he liked me and he might ask me to the spring dance."

"Wait now, what? Repeat that again in English."

"Jeremy moved here a couple months ago and he might ask me to the spring dance."

Quinn blinked a few times and gripped onto the steering wheel. "A boy…asked you to a dance?"

"No, he _might_ ask me. But the dance isn't for like a month."

"Is he nice?"

"Yeah. He's really quiet."

Quinn grimaced a little at the thought of any boy being near her baby girl. She knew her daughter was only twelve and these things were going to start happening but as a mother who had said daughter when she was sixteen, she had every right to be concerned.

"I want to meet him if he asks you," the blonde said.

"Mom it's just a stupid dance."

"I know…but a mother can never be too careful." Quinn smiled.

"Is it okay…I mean… if he asks me could you maybe take me to his house?"

Quinn nodded silently. Beth was at the age where she knew she didn't live in the nicest part of town. They _barely_ lived in a decent part of town. Beth and Noah weren't allowed off of their street because two blocks to the east was the part of town that they heard sirens come from almost every night. Quinn knew that the twelve-year-old was aware that everyone that lived in her neighborhood and on her street were renting cookie-cutter houses built by the government and that everyone had that little plastic card they used at the grocery store. Quinn dreaded the day when Noah really started to get it because he was just enough like his father that, despite his small stature, he would deck the first kid that said anything to him.

Once home, Noah scrambled to the front door before Quinn could yell at him to grab a bag of groceries. Beth made sure to grab a few bags on each arm so Quinn could get Jasper in one arm and the remaining bags with the other. She handed the keys to Noah to let him open the door and the blonde got the two oldest kids settled at the kitchen table with their homework and Jasper in his chair with a puzzle while she put away the groceries.

"What do you guys want for dinner?" she asked. "I picked up some macaroni and cheese, we could do that and hot dogs. Or I got the cheeseburger Hamburger Helper that you like."

Beth shrugged. "Whatever's easiest, Mom." The young girl smiled up from her homework momentarily before going back to it.

"Hot dogs!" Noah said with a grin.

"Hot dogs it is!" Quinn smiled and went to the kitchen cupboard to pull out a sippy cup for Jasper but a knock at the door made her stop.

"What the…" the blonde wandered into the small living room and peered out the peep hole of the front door cautiously. She growled when she saw a short brunette standing outside her door. She opened it just a crack, enough to stick her head out.

"Rachel, what are you doing here?"

Rachel looked extremely nervous as a police car went flying up the road. The brunette glanced around at her surroundings and swallowed hard.

"I looked you up in the phone book."

"Mom, who is it?" Beth called.

Quinn sighed and turned a little to call back to her, "Don't worry about it. Do your fractions!"

"Was that…was that her?" Rachel asked with a small smile. "Beth?"

Quinn nodded. "Why are you here?"

"I wanted to see you. I was thinking maybe I could take you and the kids out to dinner tonight. My treat."

"I don't want your charity, Rachel."

"I'm not doing this for charity. I'm doing this because I want to. Where do they like to eat? I can get a reservation anywhere."

"Rachel, don't…"

"Please, Quinn. I'm pretty sure you deserve the break."

Quinn knew the look in Rachel's eyes. It was sincerity. It was the look that Rachel _didn't_ have on her face when she ended things. The blonde quickly weighed the options and her ten-year-old grudge against the star was overpowered by wanting to talk to someone that didn't already know everything about her - plus the fact that this was one meal she could save for later.

"They like Denny's," Quinn said. "Noah's pretty picky, that's the only place he'll eat."

Rachel furrowed her eyebrows.

"Noah Junior."

"Oh!" Rachel smiled. "Will Noah…the first one…will he be joining us?"

Quinn shook her head. "No." How Rachel could still not know was beyond her. Surely she'd seen other people they went to high school with or her dads would've told her. Apparently not.

"Okay," Rachel said. "Denny's at six?"

"Sounds good."


	2. Chapter 2

**-Chapter 2-**

Quinn shut the door quietly and stared. She was either going to regret this heavily…or just a little. Either way, for her, it wasn't going to be a winning situation. The kids, however, were ecstatic. Noah finished his homework quickly and Quinn sent him to change his clothes while she helped Beth finish her math. At the sound of Rachel's name Beth furrowed her eyebrows and Quinn told her that yes, it was _that_ Rachel. Beth had one very short, very vivid memory of playing with Rachel when she was little. It was two days before the then-aspiring star left for New York City; Quinn remembered watching the scene just as Beth remembered being in it. Beth changed into her dress jeans for the occasion an Quinn sighed when they came up about two inches short on her ankles thanks to a recent growth spurt.

"We'll turn them into capri pants," the blonde said when Beth threw the pants back into her closet. "I'll have your Nana Puckerman get them hemmed up, okay? Wear one of your sundresses. I'll see if we can get some new jeans this weekend."

Beth nodded and went through her sundresses and picked out a white dress with pale blue flower designs and a ribbon around the waist. Quinn helped her tie the ribbon on the back just perfectly and she put the girl's thick hair in a braid. Jasper managed to get crayon on his white shirt five minutes before they needed to leave and was uncooperative when Quinn went to change him. It took another five minutes to get Noah settled down and into the van without injury.

They got to Denny's at fifteen after six; Quinn hurried in as fast as she could with Jasper on her hip and his booster seat in the other hand. Rachel greeted them at the door with her signature smile and all Quinn could do was nod politely when the brunette opened the door for her. The smile that once lit up Quinn's entire world now hurt to look at. It was unavoidable, though; Rachel's face was on every magazine with _that smile_ and it always hurt. Always.

Quinn made her way to the booth the hostess led them to and strapped Jasper's seat to a chair that Rachel had pulled over.

"Hi," Quinn finally managed to get out. "Rachel, this is Beth," Quinn slipped her right arm around her daughter. "Noah Junior," she looked down and smiled at her son who was behaving for the current moment, "and Jasper," she reached over and tousled the young boy's thick, dark hair.

Beth smiled and stepped forward, hand extended. She was just barely as tall as Rachel and her smile, on the rare occasions it appeared, was just as bright.

"I kind of remember you," she said as Rachel took her hand. "But…I recognize you from the movies. My friends are going to be really jealous."

Rachel beamed. "You were very young when I went to New York. And much shorter! If we see each other again while I'm here I'd be happy to make sure you have photographic evidence that we're acquaintances."

Beth's smile grew a little wider. Quinn nudged Noah forward a little and the young boy smiled a little bit but stayed right at Quinn's side.

"Shall we sit down?" Rachel gestured to the table. Quinn sat with Jasper on one side of her and Noah between her and the wall. Beth bounced a little when she scooted in next to Rachel.

"Thank you for this," Quinn said, looking at Rachel. "I mean it."

Rachel smiled. "Order anything you want," she instructed everyone. "There's always to-go boxes."

"Mom?" Noah poked Quinn. "Can I get pancakes?"

"Anything you want," Rachel said again before Quinn could answer. Noah grinned and ordered a stack of chocolate chip pancakes when the waitress took their orders.

"So," Rachel said, glancing at Noah and then to Beth, "tell me about yourselves."

"I just turned nine!" Noah started. "I'm in fourth grade and I have Ms. Wells. She's new. I get in trouble a lot but everybody says it's 'cause of my name 'cause I'm just like…" Noah stopped. Quinn saw him clamp his mouth shut and look back down at his placemat and grab a crayon to start coloring. Beth stared down at her fingernails.

"Mama!" Jasper broke the silence.

"What do you need, baby?"

The young boy grunted a few times in response; Quinn's eyes darted to Rachel momentarily, the brunette's look was one of wanting to say something, offer to help, but unsure how.

"Use your words."

"Mmm!" Jasper looked down at the table and reached for the crayons.

Quinn snapped her fingers and the young boy looked up at her.

"Tell me," the blonde said.

Jasper reached for the crayons again. Rachel reached for them and started to slide the cup down the table.

"Don't," Quinn snapped. "He has to tell me."

Rachel yanked her hand back and nodded. It wasn't her fault, Quinn knew. Rachel didn't know.

"Jasper, tell me what you want."

The boy reached for the crayons again and grunted a few more times.

"Look at me," Quinn snapped her fingers again. "I…"

"I…" he repeated.

"Want…"

"Want!"

"Tell me."

"Want color!"

Quinn smiled and nodded at Rachel who slid the cup of crayons down the table. Quinn spilled them out in front of Jasper and the four-year-old squealed and clapped his hands. Quinn watched as he fumbled with the green crayon and finally got it grasped in his hand and started scribbling on his placemat.

"Sorry," Quinn mumbled when Rachel glanced between her and her youngest son. "It's just…if he doesn't use his words he'll forget and his therapists will hate me."

"It's fine, Quinn."

It wasn't fine, but Quinn nodded anyway. She saw the questions behind Rachel's eyes. Yes, her son _looked_ like a normal four-year-old but his inability to communicate regularly and the fact that Quinn had carried him into the restaurant and had to strap him into his own complicated looking booster seat was very obvious. She saw that Rachel was almost ready to burst with the questions even strangers stopped Quinn to ask.

_"What's wrong with him? What happened? Oh, I'm so sorry, will he ever catch up? Will he ever be normal?"_

Before Quinn could offer even the simplest of explanations the waitress appeared with their food. She alternated between bites of her chicken salad and feeding Jasper his macaroni and cheese. Noah devoured his pancakes and Beth looked like she was in heaven with her bacon, lettuce & tomato sandwich.

"Beth," Rachel said between bites of her salad, "what about you?"

Beth shrugged. "I'm twelve. I help take care of my brothers, I go to school, I hang out with my friends."

"You look very much like your mother, aside from your hair color of course."

"I know," Beth sighed.

Quinn cringed at the look on her daughter's face. She probably should've found time to tell Rachel before they went out to dinner. But really, when had she had the time? And it's not like Rachel had asked and she obviously didn't have enough interest to find out from someone else.

"She might get asked to a dance," Quinn said with a smile.

Beth blushed. "I don't know if he'll ask me or not."

"Why don't you ask him?" Rachel suggested. "It's a woman's world, too."

Beth shrugged. "I want him to ask me like in all the movies. Mom, who did you go to your first dance with?"

Quinn smiled. "Uncle Finn, homecoming sophomore year."

"What about you?" Beth turned to Rachel. Quinn's eyes widened and she almost missed Jasper's mouth with the bite of macaroni and cheese.

"I…" Rachel's eyes locked on Quinn's.

Quinn remembered Rachel's very first dance very, very well. Why? Because Quinn had been the one to ask her to that dance. It was their junior prom. Rachel's dads were babysitting Beth and the pair had gone to the dance and didn't get home until one in the morning. It was also the first night they spent _together_. It was the night that Quinn first told Rachel she loved her.

"Oh," Beth said when the silence at the table grew tense enough that Quinn was pretty sure she could stab it with her fork. The young girl looked back and forth between Quinn and Rachel whose eyes were still locked. "I get it. So like…you guys? Okay…well…I guess it's good you don't hate each other." She smiled and picked up her sandwich.

Quinn swallowed hard. "It was a long time ago," she said. "I don't hate Rachel." It wasn't a lie. It wasn't the truth, but it wasn't a lie.

Rachel smiled a little. "And I definitely don't hate your mother."

The one subject triggered questions about the past, about glee club, about high school. Quinn avoided the subject of her children's father just as much as Beth and Noah did. Rachel seemed to get the hint but the questions were there in her eyes.

_"Did he leave you? Is he in prison?"_

"Thank you, Rachel," Quinn said as they finished their meal. She unstrapped Jasper from his chair and hoisted him on her hip. "Kids, say thank you to Rachel for dinner."

"Thank you Rachel," came in unison from Beth and Noah. Jasper babbled and Rachel reached out to brush her fingertips over his cheek. Quinn had to look anywhere else when Rachel smiled at the boy…because there was the absence of a familiar stabbing pain in her heart when that smile was directed at her youngest son.

Rachel paid the bill at the counter and Quinn quietly thanked her yet again. Beth and Noah sprinted out to the van; Quinn took her time walking with Rachel to her rental car silently. Rachel was nothing if not persistent and Quinn knew that, due to the persistence, this wasn't the last time Rachel was going to show up at her doorstep while she was in Lima. And because of that she reasoned that Rachel needed to hear about the last ten years from Quinn's mouth, not anyone else's.

"The kids will be in bed by nine," Quinn said. "If…I'd like you to come over."

A worried look spread across Rachel's face.

"The neighborhood is safe, I promise."

Rachel nodded and pushed the remote button on her car and the headlights flashed. "I'll be there," she said softly.

Beth and Noah raced to the couch and fought over the remote when they got home. Noah eventually won out and they watched the tail end of the Cincinnati Reds game that was on. The blonde put Jasper on the floor and stretched his legs and helped him pull up a few times. She smiled when he locked his knees while he stood. He was so close to standing on his own that she could feel it. He wobbled for a few seconds before his knees gave out and Quinn caught him. She tried again and he lasted a bit longer before he got bored and she knew he dropped on purpose.

"That's my strong little guy," Quinn said with a smile as she put him on his back to stretch his legs again. "Maybe by the end of the summer, hm?"

Jasper mumbled incoherently and smiled, Quinn picked him up and dropped to the couch with Beth and Noah and they watched the Reds win, 3-2.

"Homework is finished, right?"

Both Beth and Noah nodded. The young boy snuggled closer into his mother's side and they found another baseball game to watch.

Quinn's favorite moments were these. They were before, too. It would be exactly like this only Beth would be snuggled up next to Puck on the other end of the couch. They'd watch the baseball games and Puck and Noah would bet on what the score would be and who would hit how many home runs and Puck would always bet something outrageous so Noah could win. It was always a handful of jellybeans or an extra cookie for everyone when Noah won. There weren't sirens in that neighborhood at least. It had been a fairly nice house, definitely bigger. It was near Puck's mother's house and Quinn would walk with the kids to see her. Jasper would walk. He would walk with his hand in Quinn's as they went the three small blocks from their house to see their Nana Puckerman.

The clock struck seven-thirty and Quinn left Noah and Beth to the TV while she changed Jasper into his pajamas and put him into his bed in his and Noah's room. She read to him for a while, until he was asleep, and she turned on the monitor and took the other half with her to the living room. She sat back down on the couch and Noah curled into her again.

"Mom?" Beth asked from the other end of the sofa. "Rachel doesn't know, does she?"

Quinn took a deep breath. "Noah, go put your pajamas on and take your medicine and get ready for bed. You better brush your teeth extra good."

The young boy hopped up off the couch and to the bathroom, Quinn patted the space next to her and Beth scooted over.

"No, she doesn't."

"How could she not know? Everyone knows."

"She'll be here in a little while; I'm going to talk to her."

"But how could she not know, Mom?"

"Rachel's busy, sweetie."

"You mean she doesn't take the time to find out what happened to anyone? I know I'm only like twelve or whatever but I'm not stupid."

"I never said you were, baby girl."

"She's kind of stuck up, isn't she?"

Quinn sighed and ran her fingers through Beth's thick hair, tugging out the braid she'd done earlier. "I don't know who she is anymore, Beth. She was a little high strung and self-absorbed until glee club started. She learned to give up the spotlight a little. You helped with that, too, you know?" Quinn smiled a little. "She said if anyone other than her deserved the spotlight it was you. When she found out she was going to New York…She's a good person, Beth. She really is and I don't want anything I ever say about her or anything she ever did to me to make you think otherwise. The past is the past, understand?"

Beth nodded. "Did she break up with you?"

"It was a long time ago, honey. It's not…" Quinn saw the look on her daughter's face. It was like looking in a mirror if she were twelve again. Her parents did that to her, too. They shrugged off her questions by telling her it wasn't important. "Yes," she answered. "Before she left for college in New York. We started dating after you were born and it was wonderful and then she just…left. She looked at me the day all of her boxes were packed and told me it wouldn't work out and she left and I never heard from her again. Not until today."

Noah dashed back into the living room and jumped up on the arm rest on the other side of Quinn. He bared his teeth to her and she smiled and cupped his face with one hand.

"Then your dad and I got back together again and this monstrosity was born," she said with a joking laugh. Noah giggled and Quinn scooted over enough for him to fall down next to her. "I wouldn't change it for the world, you understand? I love you, all three of you, no one and nothing will ever, ever change that."

Beth nodded and Noah snuggled deeper into Quinn's side. When the clock hit eight she kissed the top of Noah's head and left the living room again to get him tucked into bed. Noah read part of his independent reading book from school to her. He'd been working his way through _The Chronicles of Narnia_ since the beginning of the school year. He was on the very last chapters of _The Magician's Nephew_. When he started to yawn his way through the words, Quinn marked his place and kissed the top of his head and tucked him in.

"I love you, Noah," she whispered as she stood from the edge of his bed.

"Love you too, Mom."

Quinn returned to the living room to find Beth curled up on the couch, fast asleep. She smiled and gently shook the girl awake and Beth yawned. Quinn kissed her daughter's forehead and whispered goodnight to her and got a sleepy response as the young girl dragged her feet to her bedroom, then the bathroom. Quinn flipped through the channels on TV and heard Beth's bedroom door shut just as there was a very light knock on the front door. Quinn swallowed hard and again got up off the couch. She said a quick prayer to make this as painless as possible as she opened the door. Rachel's face was nervous again as she looked over her shoulder and then back at the door.

"Hey," Quinn said softly.

Rachel smiled. "Hey."

"Come in, I'll make coffee if you want it."

"That sounds wonderful, thank you."

Quinn nodded and Rachel stepped inside. The brunette's eyes darted around the living room from the worn brown couch to the TV on top of the small cabinet that housed the DVD player and cable box along with a few movies to Beth and Noah's school pictures hanging above the TV and the Puckerman family portrait above the couch that was taken shortly after Jasper was born. Quinn picked up the remote and shut off the TV before she led the way to the kitchen.

"Sorry it's a mess. I tried to clean up a little today but it was my day off and I didn't really feel like doing much. Sit at the table if you can find a space."

Rachel hung her purse and jacket over the back of one of the chairs but remained standing.

"Can I help?"

Quinn pulled the coffee canister out of the refrigerator and started loading the coffee maker.

"No, it's fine. It's not Starbucks, though." She filled the pot with enough water for two cups and dumped it into the reservoir.

"I'm sure it'll be fine, Quinn."

The blonde pushed a few buttons and the machine started percolating. Thank God. It hadn't that morning. Another thing that was on its last leg that she couldn't afford to replace or fix. She looked around for things to do other than sit at the table across from Rachel and talk about things she really didn't want to talk about but knew she needed to. She'd done dishes that morning. She'd wiped off the countertops. She finally turned and met Rachel's gaze. The brunette was still oblivious.

"So…you're in town for the reunion?"

Rachel nodded. "And a little vacation."

"Have you seen anyone else?"

Rachel shook her head. "I saw the sign for Tina and Artie's pharmacy, though. That's good for them."

"Yeah. They help us out a lot. Everyone that stayed does. Finn's wife babysits Jasper during the days when I work, Beth and Noah after school as well. She won't take money for it. It's good but…I feel bad. Even when I did give her money she bought Christmas and birthday presents for the kids with it. Kurt's dad-"

"Quinn, where is Noah?"

The question hit Quinn like a brick. A ton of bricks, actually. She hadn't expected for Rachel to be so straightforward about it…but then again, it was Rachel Berry. Obviously if she had _known_ then she wouldn't have been so blunt about it. Quinn fidgeted with her wedding ring.

"He's not here," she whispered.

"Did he leave you? With three kids? That son of a…"

"Puck died, Rachel."


	3. Chapter 3

**-Chapter 3-**

Silence. Quinn stood staring at the brunette who stood staring right back at her. Quinn's fingers stayed on the gold band on her left ring finger. Rachel's arms stayed at her sides. The coffee maker percolated but Quinn's gaze never left Rachel. She saw the brunette swallow and attempt to form words in her head but nothing came. Nothing but the percolations and the ticking of the wall clock in the kitchen.

"He…died…" Quinn finally breathed out with the breath she had no idea she was holding. "He didn't leave me…he didn't end up in prison like everyone thought he would…he died."

Quinn started trembling as Rachel's mouth moved to form the words that Quinn had heard several thousand times already. She heard it as people filed through the funeral home and she was absolutely numb as she said thank you. To whom she said it, she had no idea. They were all faceless people that had come to look at the twenty-six year old widow with three children who had to be dragged away from her youngest son's hospital bed to go to the funeral of her husband.

"I'm so sorry," Rachel choked. "Quinn, I had no idea…"

"No," the blonde hissed. "You didn't. You didn't bother to ask. You didn't bother to call. You didn't bother to care. You were too wrapped up in you to care."

Rachel stumbled backward into a kitchen chair and dropped down on it. "I can't believe no one told me…my dads never said anything."

"How often did you call them to find anything out the last couple of years?"

Rachel's gaze fell to the floor. "I didn't," she mumbled. "I always had my assistants send notes or flowers."

The coffee maker beeped and Quinn pulled two cups out of the cabinet and poured a cup for each of them. She walked to the kitchen table and shakily put Rachel's in front of her and then sat down across from the brunette.

"It was two years ago," Quinn sighed. "Almost two years ago. It was in the summer. Mike owns some property out on the north side of town and he's got four-wheelers out there. He had a brand new one that they were running and so Puck and I took the kids out there so they could run off some energy. I…I begged him not to take Jasper out because he was too little but Jasper cried when Puck took him off. He promised he'd be fine…he promised me." Quinn's gaze dropped from Rachel and into her coffee mug. She ran her finger along the rim and sniffled and blinked back the tears. "Half an hour later we couldn't find them…Mike went out where Puck was going and found them…there was a defect in the axle and…and it flipped. Even if he had on a helmet it wouldn't have mattered and Jasper's only alive because Puck protected him."

Quinn looked over from her coffee mug to where Rachel had moved her chair around the table. Rachel put a hand on Quinn's wrist and the blonde recoiled a little at the familiar touch.

"He was dead by the time the helicopter landed. Jasper was in the hospital for three months. He…he was a perfectly normal two-year-old before it happened. He ran and he played and he talked to me…it all went away."

"Quinn…Quinn I am so, so sorry…I don't know what else to say."

Quinn looked up from her coffee mug into the sympathetic and sincere eyes of her ex-lover. Rachel reached out and swept away the tears that had fallen and Quinn instinctively closed her eyes and leaned into the touch.

"I really did love him, Rachel," she whispered. "Everyone thought we got married because I got pregnant again but that wasn't it. I loved him…I still love him." Quinn opened her eyes again when Rachel pulled away. "He was good to me, he never cheated on me, he never hurt me and he was good with the kids. Noah's exactly like him, it's almost scary sometimes," Quinn laughed a little. "It's been really, really hard for him. Finn's a good uncle but Noah was so, so close to Puck. He worked really hard, Rach. You would've been impressed. He got a really good job working for the utilities company. He was laying power lines. We had this plan that as soon as Jasper was in school that I would start taking classes at OSU so I could get a better job than Pick-n-Save."

Rachel was still stunned into almost silence, Quinn could see.

"It's a lot to take in, isn't it?" Quinn whispered. Rachel nodded.

"Quinn I honestly don't know what to say…I wasn't expecting this. I mean…as you noticed I was under the assumption that he left and of course now I feel horrible for thinking that. Quinn, if there's anything I can do…"

Quinn held up her hand to stop the brunette. She'd taken a lot of things from a lot of people and she was damn determined that Rachel Berry would never be one of them. Even though the little piece of Quinn that still held a grudge kept screaming, "Take it! You deserve it!" Quinn wasn't going to give Rachel the satisfaction of pulling her out of any holes.

"I've made it this far, Rachel. I don't want your charity. Dinner was fine and I thank you for that…but I can't take anything from you."

"Let me take Beth shopping for clothes or something…"

"No!" Quinn stood up and growled. "I can take care of my kids, Rachel!"

She knew Rachel didn't mean it like that. She knew Rachel just wanted to help. But Quinn was kind of sick of taking help. She already owed more people more than she could pay back in her entire life and that killed her. Yes, she swallowed her pride and she took what she was offered most of the time, but Rachel was a different story.

"Quinn, I didn't mean…"

Quinn started pacing. She couldn't look at Rachel, she couldn't sit still. She just needed to move and not look at the star in her kitchen. Hell, Rachel's kitchen was probably as big as the entire house she was in.

"I'm not going to be in debt to you, okay? I can buy clothes for my kids, I can put food on the table, I've got a roof over their heads. Okay, so we don't live in the nicest part of town but we're not in boxes. Yes, if Puck were still alive then things would be better…we lived in a nice house in a nice neighborhood and none of my kids needed therapy…Listen," Quinn stopped pacing, "I get that you want to help. Everyone wants to help. But I can't take it from you. I'm sorry."

"I feel like I owe…"

Quinn shook her head. "You don't owe me anything."

Rachel stood. Quinn backed away. If there was one thing she didn't need it was Rachel trying to hug her.

"Quinn I left you…in a very brutal way. I hardly said goodbye, I…"

"I know how you left me, Rachel. I was there. Puck was there. You weren't."

"Do you think if I had stayed-"

Quinn wasn't sure where the line was with Rachel until she leaped over it. That was one thing Quinn vowed to never think about, especially after Puck's death. She would never think about the what-ifs if Rachel had stayed. She had her babies and she loved all three of them and any thought without them in her life was completely unnecessary.

"No!" Quinn hissed. "No, no, no. I am _not_ playing the 'what if' game with you, Rachel. I have three kids and I will never, ever regret having them. I won't ever think about life without them, do you understand? Never ask me that question again."

"I'm sorry," Rachel said as she recoiled. "You're absolutely right. I completely crossed a line. It's getting late. I should go; you probably have to work tomorrow and I'm keeping you awake."

Quinn could only nod. Yes, Rachel needed to go…No, Rachel needed to stay. But she needed to leave. She needed to leave and let Quinn sit and try not to think about her dead husband and figuring out how to buy Beth new jeans and refilling Noah's medicine that keeps him from having meltdowns and making sure Jasper gets his stretches done every morning, afternoon, and night.

"Quinn? Quinn, are you okay?"

Quinn wasn't sure what the look on her face was but whatever it was, it concerned Rachel enough that the brunette was standing in front of her and looking up at her with those dark brown eyes.

"I'm fine," the blonde lied. A lie she told to everyone and everyone believed it.

"No, you're not. You're…exhausted. And frustrated, with me, I presume. You're not fine."

"I'm fine."

Quinn pulled away. Of course she wasn't fine. She was living off of government assistance, in government housing, probably in desperate need of therapy herself, barely making enough to cover the bills by working at a dead-end job. She was twenty-eight and a widow for two years who never got to grieve the loss of her husband because she had to focus on her son. She hadn't even gone on a date since high school and now Rachel Berry was standing in her kitchen with her big brown eyes and all five feet two inches of her was the Rachel Berry that Quinn knew from blissful year and a half they spent holding hands and wrapped up in each other's arms. The blood left her head and she gripped onto the back of a kitchen chair. Again, Rachel stepped close and this time put a hand on Quinn's shoulder and shook her head…and Quinn tried to pretend that the touch didn't make her _feel_.

"You're not fine."

"I'm fine," Quinn whispered. She ran her fingers over her wedding ring. "I'm sorry but you need to leave."

Quinn pulled away from Rachel's touch to go to the front door with Rachel following just moments later. Rachel wasn't allowed to do this to her because she knew that Rachel would leave again. Rachel wasn't allowed to make her feel like _that_ again. Quinn had her three kids to think about and Rachel wasn't going to walk into their lives and then walk back out again as if nothing happened when something better came along. They couldn't deal with that loss.

Rachel nodded. "I fully understand. Walking back into your life like this…I can't imagine. Listen, I'll be here for a while." The brunette dug around in her purse she brought in with her from the kitchen and pulled out a business card and a pen. She scribbled something on it and handed it to Quinn. "If you need anything…please, anything, a babysitter, someone to talk to…anything. Just call me."

Quinn shakily held onto the business card with the digits written on the back of it. She watched Rachel stare at the front door.

"Quinn, the door needs to open if I'm to leave."

Quinn looked down at her hand which was still on the doorknob and she looked up at Rachel. Rachel needed to leave. Quinn had to open the door. She clutched onto the doorknob and turned it and barely pulled. Rachel really, really needed to leave. She needed to leave because Quinn couldn't do this again. She couldn't do it. She looked at the brunette and tugged a little harder on the door. Her trance was broken by a cry from Jasper that echoed through the baby monitor. Rachel was forgotten.

Quinn hurried to the boys' room and by complete instinct of knowing where everything was she quickly picked Jasper up out of his bed and held him.

"Wha's wrong?" Noah mumbled.

"Nothing sweetie, go back to sleep."

"Mkay."

Quinn carried Jasper into the living room; Rachel was still standing by the door which was now closed. The blonde ignored her and settled Jasper on the couch and felt around his legs and found the cramp. She quieted him down and stretched out his right leg. He whimpered at first as she flexed his foot up and down to try and stretch out the muscles.

"Is he okay?"

"He gets muscle cramps in his legs sometimes because he can't work them as often as he needs to. I just have to work them out." Quinn kept stretching and she pressed her fingertips into the knot and massaged until the twitching stopped and the muscle relaxed. She massaged the other leg to prevent it from cramping just the same. "Can you watch him for a second? Make sure he doesn't roll off the couch?"

Rachel nodded. Quinn went to her bedroom and pulled out the heating pad. When she returned to the living room Rachel was sitting on the couch softly singing and Jasper had his eyes focused on the brunette and was staring at her intensely. Quinn stared at the scene for a few seconds before she shook her head and walked across the floor to plug in the heating pad. She pulled Jasper into her lap and wrapped the warm pad around his leg.

"Is he…will he ever…"

"Will he ever be normal?" Quinn could've finished the question before Rachel said it. "We're working on it. He can pull up and stand on his own for a few seconds so I'm hoping that by the end of the summer he's walking. There was brain damage and spinal cord damage and the doctors told me he'd never get as far as he has but he's here so we just take it one day at a time. Kelsey takes him to therapists almost every day."

Rachel nodded and looked down at her lap. Quinn looked down at her sleeping son and sighed. He was a reminder that she couldn't be selfish about this. There couldn't be a _this_. The Rachel she was in love with was seventeen and eighteen and not the Rachel sitting next to her. A small piece of her wanted to get to know this Rachel. But Rachel's intentions were questionable and that meant risk and risk wasn't ever good when it came to the three kids.

"Rachel I don't know what you want from me," Quinn whispered. "I don't know why you're here or why you want to be here…but I can't do it. Whatever it is, I can't."

"I don't want anything from you. Except maybe to let me help you but if you're not going to give me that then a chance at being friends would be nice."

"You scare me. You scare me because we started out as friends the first time. If it was just me I would be fine with it but I've got kids to consider here. Kids who lost their father. You're going to leave, Rachel. You want to help now but you get to go to Los Angeles and live your life and I get to deal with the aftermath. I can't do that to them."

"It won't be like that…"

"How will it be then, Rachel? Tell me, just exactly how will it be when you go to LA?"

"I'll call…I'll come back here more often. Quinn…I want to be here for you. I want to make up for the last ten years. I want you to have someone to talk to."

"I have people to talk to…"

"Please, Quinn…I'm begging you…please let me be here."

Quinn tensed up when Rachel's hand gripped onto her shoulder. The brunette moved closer to her and Quinn could hear her heartbeat in her ears with the blood rushing. Turning to meet Rachel's gaze would be dangerous, Quinn knew this. But she couldn't help herself. She turned her head slowly, Rachel's eyes were red rimmed and matched her own. It was sixteen year old Rachel when their relationship went from enemies to the start of something spectacular just before sectionals their sophomore year. It was sincere, honest, selfless Rachel. It was Rachel telling her it would be worth the risk.

"I swear to God, Rachel," Quinn whispered, "if you hurt my kids…I will hunt you down and they will never find the body."

Rachel nodded. "Make sure you at least bury my Grammy with me."

"I was thinking more along the lines of a woodchipper."

"I'd prefer it if the award stayed intact. Maybe auction it off and donate the proceeds to a socially conscious charity?"

Quinn smiled. "Okay." She glanced up at the wall clock and sighed. "It's ten-thirty. I need to get him back to bed and clean up a little and then try to get some sleep."

"Of course…I'm sorry if I overstayed my welcome."

"It's fine, Rachel."

Quinn turned off the heating pad and unwrapped it from Jasper's leg. She stood and hoisted the boy on her hip, Rachel followed suit. Quinn walked her to the door and this time when she opened it, she really opened it. Rachel smiled appreciatively and looked out the door both ways before she walked out and to her car.

"Call me, I mean it," she said before she got in.

Quinn nodded.


	4. Chapter 4

**-Chapter 4-**

It wasn't that Quinn hated her job…she just didn't ever expect to make a career of it. "Multi-Department Associate" sounded wonderful but it really just meant she had to know how to do every single job in the store and she did every single job in the store for not much more money than anyone doing just one job. It was barely a step above where she'd started as a cashier. Some days she worked a register, some days she stocked shelves, others she put inventory into the computers. She couldn't go up until she had college classes and she didn't want to take classes because she already spent enough time away from her kids.

Today, Quinn was working a register. She smiled at the customers and they looked at her like they knew she was struggling. She recognized a few customers and politely said hello and answered their questions of how she was doing. She punched in the numbers of the produce by memory. She took her lunch break and grabbed a sandwich from the deli and called the Hudson house to find out how Jasper was doing and how speech therapy had gone that day. She took another break at 3:30 and called again to make sure Beth and Noah got off the school bus okay and to get a quick recap of their days at school. When she returned from break she went back to her register and started scanning, again.

"Hey," a soft voice came when Quinn picked up a bag of apples and punched in the numbers.

It wasn't a complete shock to Quinn to see Rachel standing there in front of her with her debit card. Quinn's eyes widened when she looked at the conveyor belt. The belt contained nothing but produce bags of what looked like every single fruit and vegetable that Pick-n-Save carried and Quinn had a sneaking feeling that it was a little bit purposeful because it took her a few seconds longer to get those entered in.

"Hi," she replied. She weighed the apples and bagged them. She punched in the numbers for romaine lettuce and weighed and bagged it. "Are you making the ultimate fruit and veggie spread?"

Rachel shrugged. "Nothing wrong with eating healthy."

Quinn punched in the numbers for lemons. "I guess not." A customer peered down the aisle at all of the fruit and vegetables and moved on to another lane. Quinn punched in the numbers for fennel.

"I just wanted to remind you again that you can call me if you need anything. Day or night, I mean it."

"I know, Rachel." Artichokes, fresh spinach bundles, a head of red cabbage.

"I was thinking maybe tonight I could pick up some take-out and bring it over. Pizza or something."

"I told you, I don't want charity," Quinn mumbled. She punched in the numbers for the carrots, green cabbage, and a mango.

"It's not charity. I like pizza and I don't want to eat alone. My dads are out of town right now and the house is rather lonely. Really, you'd be doing me a favor if you let me."

"I'd be doing you a favor? Really?" Quinn knew Rachel was lying. She knew it was charity. But she also knew that if twenty-eight year old Rachel was anything like seventeen-year-old Rachel that she would be showing up at Quinn's door around six-thirty with two boxes of pizza and a smile. Quinn sighed and checked the grapes, pineapple, and Vidalia onions.

"Really, a huge favor."

Quinn gave in. "Noah and Beth like pepperoni with extra cheese. And I still like veggie delight. Jasper will eat anything."

Rachel grinned. "Wonderful!"

Quinn shook her head and punched in the numbers for the last item, bananas, and hit the total button. "You just spent forty-six dollars on food you didn't even want."

Rachel ran her debit card through the machine and put in her code. "I'll make a few salads to go with dinner," she said with a wink.

Quinn finished bagging the rest of the produce and handed them off to the short brunette so she could put the bags in her cart.

"I'll be there around six-thirty?"

Quinn nodded. "Sounds good. You know I don't get commission or anything, right? So if you come in here every day it doesn't matter."

"It matters," Rachel said with a small smile. "I'll see you tonight."

The second that the clock hit five, Quinn shut down her register and hurried to her locker to get her things and get over to the Hudson house to pick up the kids. Noah was a blur as he ran out of the house and Quinn prayed he was just a little hyper and it wasn't one of _those_ days. Her prayers came unanswered. As soon as she strapped Jasper into his car seat she looked at Noah and his eyes were darting around the van and he was nervously wringing his hands.

"We'll be home in a minute, okay?" Quinn assured her middle child. "I promise I'll get there as fast as I can."

Noah relaxed a little.

"What happened?" Quinn whispered to Beth as soon as she got in the driver's seat.

Beth shrugged. "I don't know."

Quinn hated that response. Especially when it came to Noah. If she knew the trigger, she could fix it quickly. But she didn't. She did get home in almost record time, Noah darted out of the van and Quinn went after him as quickly as she could with Jasper on her hip. Beth got the front door open with her keys and Noah immediately went to his room.

"Watch him, please?" Quinn asked her daughter as she sat Jasper on the couch. Beth nodded and turned on the TV to some cartoon to keep her brother entertained. "Noah!" Quinn stood at his bedroom door and knocked. "Honey, what's wrong?"

There was a crash and a growl. Nervous had turned into angry and Quinn turned the doorknob and slowly opened the door. She was met by a flying book and she ducked it.

"Noah! Talk to me, please."

"I don't want to!" he yelled.

"Why not?"

"I want Dad!"

Quinn slipped into the bedroom and was met with another flying book.

"Noah, stop that."

"No! I want to be with Dad!"

Quinn ducked another book and lunged to grab her son from behind. He kicked and struggled but she held onto him keeping his arms pinned down. She didn't need another split lip. She struggled with him for a few minutes while he yelled incoherently and tried to fight her off.

"Please, Noah, calm down."

"Get away!"

He struggled against her. Quinn wondered how much longer she could keep this up because even though he was small for his age there was still the chance he could outgrow her.

"Who do you want to talk to? You want to go talk to the doctor? Uncle Finn? If you won't talk to me who do you want to talk to?"

"Dad! I want Dad!"

"I know…I know you do, okay? I want him, too. I want him here, you know I do."

"No you don't! You don't!"

This was a new response. It almost stunned Quinn enough to let go of her son but instead she held him a little tighter while Noah fought harder.

"You're gonna forget all about him! And it's all that Rachel lady's fault!"

"Who told you that? Noah, listen to me!" Quinn spun the boy around and gripped onto his shoulders as she knelt in front of him. "Who told you that?"

"Beth told Uncle Finn that Rachel was here. And then I heard him talking on the phone and he said…" Noah managed to pull away from Quinn's grip and he hopped up on his bed and grabbed onto a pillow.

"What did he say?" Quinn got up and sat down next to her son. "What did he say?"

"He said you loved her."

"I did, a long time ago. Before you were born and before I married your dad. It has nothing to do with right now."

"But what if you love her again? You'll forget all about him!"

"I will never forget about your dad, Noah. No matter what happens, I will never forget about him. You want to know why?"

Noah sniffled and nodded.

"Because of you. Because of you and your sister and your brother. All three of you remind me every single day how much I loved and still love your dad and I will always love him, understand? It doesn't matter what happens, I will never forget about him."

Noah nodded again.

"Rachel wants to be my friend, okay? I need friends, too."

"Jason Porter said that's what his mom said about his step-dad and now he tries to get him to call him 'dad'."

"You don't have to worry about calling her 'dad' or 'mom'. Just call her Rachel, okay? She won't ever try to take the place of your dad, I promise."

"Are you gonna love her again like you used to? Like you love Dad?"

Quinn sighed. "Rachel wants to be my friend, baby. I promise you if that ever changes I will talk to you first, do you understand?"

Noah nodded. "You think since she's famous she can get us tickets to baseball games?"

Quinn chuckled. "I'm not sure."

"You…you think she would come to career day and talk about being famous?"

"I'll tell you what," Quinn said. "If you clean up all of your books you can ask her. If it's okay with you, she wants to come over and have pizza tonight."

Noah furrowed his eyebrows and looked down at the ground. "What kind of pizza?"

"Pepperoni with extra cheese."

"Can I have soda?"

"One cup, caffeine-free and you brush your teeth extra good right after."

"Okay, she can come over."

Quinn smiled and kissed the top of her son's head. "Stay in here and cool off a bit, pick up your books."

"Okay."

Quinn left her son's room and shut the door quietly behind her. She leaned against the doorframe and thanked whatever god was listening that at least this meltdown was minor. After a few deep breaths she went back to the living room and dropped to the couch next to Beth.

"Anything good on tonight?" the blonde asked.

"No."

Beth's tone was sharp and hostile and Quinn really didn't want to deal with it right then but, because Beth was her daughter, Quinn looked to the ceiling and took a few cleansing breaths, readying herself to tackle whatever issue Beth had against her right then.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Beth, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm fine."

"You're my daughter, I know you, you're not fine."

"Why do you want to be friends with her again? After what she did?"

Quinn rubbed her temples and groaned. She was waiting for Jasper to start rambling about hating Rachel, too, but he just jabbered and chewed on the toy Beth had gotten to occupy him.

"Sweetie, it was a really long time ago."

"You know she's just using you, right? So next time she's in some magazine she can tell them she helped out a woman and her kids. It makes her look good."

"I told you not to do this. Rachel is a good person, do you understand me? She is very, sincerely trying. She wants to be my friend and I need friends just like you do. What brought this on, anyway? You were all over having her around."

Beth sighed. "I heard Uncle Finn talking on the phone."

"I'm going to have to kill him," Quinn mumbled. "Don't listen to Uncle Finn, okay? He's just very protective. Too protective. I'm an adult and it's my decision to let Rachel into my life…into _our_ lives. You formulate your own opinions about her, don't base it off of what other people say."

"Fine."

"Beth, give her a chance. She's coming over with dinner soon and I want you to be nice."

Beth sighed. "I will."

Quinn heard Noah's bedroom door open and she smiled at him when he came into the living room and dropped to the couch.

"Books all picked up?"

"Yeah."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"If you guys are really, really not okay with this I want you to tell me, okay?"

"It's fine, Mom," Noah said.

"Yeah, it's fine," Beth repeated. "I guess if she's nice to us then it's okay."

"She will be."


	5. Chapter 5

**-Chapter 5-**

In true Rachel Berry style there was a knock on the door just as the clock hit six-thirty and Quinn sent Beth into the kitchen to get plates and cups down and she opened to the front door to a smiling Rachel with two pizza boxes and two large bowls.

"Delivery for Puckerman!" Rachel said with a giggle.

Quinn smiled and ignored the flutter in her chest brought on by that giggle - the one that used to make her blush and press a kiss to Rachel's lips. She had to ignore it because Rachel was her friend. That was it. That's all it was and all it could be.

"Come in, you know where the kitchen is."

Rachel smiled and stepped inside, Quinn looked over her shoulder at an unfamiliar car going up the street and the driver glancing at her house. Rachel looked over her shoulder and groaned.

"Paparazzi. He's been following me all day; I'm used to it by now. Don't worry about him. We should just have a pleasant evening!"

Rachel walked through the living room as if she owned the place and put the pizza down on the kitchen table as well as the two bowls. She opened each of them and Quinn couldn't help but chuckle at the fruit salad and regular salad.

"I told you I would make salads! Of course, I wasn't entirely sure what to do with the fennel…I've never cooked with it before. I'll have to look something up."

"What's so funny?" Beth asked as she pulled four cups and one sippy cup out of the cabinet.

"Nothing, sweetie. Rachel's just…very determined."

Beth shrugged. "Whatever."

"Beth, we talked about this," Quinn warned.

"Sorry," the young brunette mumbled.

"Go get Noah and wash your hands for dinner."

Beth nodded and left the kitchen. Quinn followed her to the living room to get Jasper. Noah dashed out of the room after his sister called after him.

"Did I…do something wrong?" Rachel asked nervously from the kitchen doorway.

Quinn wasn't entirely sure how to explain to Rachel the fact that her two oldest children might kind of dislike her. She had to bribe her son and growl at her daughter…it wasn't exactly the way she hoped things would start out.

Quinn took a deep breath and put Jasper on her hip to go back to the kitchen. "Puck's only been gone two years, Rachel. They're still adjusting. You're the first new person that's come into their lives…Beth knows you left. Noah…Noah thinks you're going to try and replace Puck. It's going to take some time for them-"

There was a loud bang, Quinn jumped a little and Beth came running into the kitchen.

"Noah's mad again."

"Shit," Quinn hissed. "Sorry…Rachel, please take Jasper?"

Rachel nodded and took him from Quinn's arms and went to the living room. Quinn went down the hallway and knocked on Noah's door; there were more crashes and incoherent yelling. Quinn chastised herself for thinking the earlier tantrum was open and shut. It never was and she didn't know why she thought this time would be any different.

"Noah…Noah, it's Mom. Can I come in?"

"Go away!"

"Noah, please." Quinn looked over to see Rachel sitting on the edge of the couch with Jasper on her lap. The second that Quinn's hazel eyes fell upon Rachel's dark brown the woman on the couch looked away. "Noah, what do you want? Tell me what you want."

"I don't want you!"

"Who do you want?"

"I want Dad!"

Quinn opened the door. Big mistake. A book came hurling toward her and she was able to lean out of the way and close the door again.

"Beth, did he take his meds this morning?" Quinn called into the living room.

"I don't know, I'm not his mother."

"Beth, this isn't really the time for you to go diva on me, okay?"

The girl shrugged. Quinn sighed and quickly went to the bathroom. She checked Noah's pill box, the last two morning slots were full. On her way back down the hallway there was another crash from Noah's room. Quinn knocked again.

"Noah…Noah, why didn't you take your pills this morning?"

"Go away!"

Quinn stood in front of the door and leaned her forehead against it. "Beth!"

"What?"

"Please come here."

The young girl appeared in front of her in a few seconds. She crossed her arms over her chest and Quinn glanced over the girl's shoulder at Rachel who again looked away.

"I know I ask a lot of you, I know I do…but you know it's your job to make sure he takes his pills in the morning."

"No, that's _your_ job. I'm not his mother."

"Then you can start cleaning the house and doing regular chores like all of your friends. That was the trade off, remember? You help with Noah, you don't have to do regular chores."

"Fine, I'll do the chores. Whatever."

"What happened? Half an hour ago you were my sweet daughter. Why are you doing this right now?"

"Because I'm sick of being blamed when he has a freakin' meltdown! You blame me even if it's not my fault and then you turn around and want me to fix it. It's not my job! I'm sick of being blamed for everything he does!"

"I don't…"

"Yes you do! Noah does bad on his homework, I'm the reason why because I didn't help him. Noah has a meltdown, it's my fault even if I wasn't near him. If Dad was here then he'd agree with me."

"If your dad was here then Noah wouldn't be having a meltdown and Jasper would be running around the house! There's a lot of things that would be different if your dad were here, Beth. A lot of things. But he's not, okay? He's not here. I'm here…and I…I can't deal with this right now. Go to your room."

"Mom…"

"Go!"

Quinn hated yelling at her kids. She hated it because it had been done to her so much when she was that age. But in the moment it wasn't something she thought about. She thought about it afterward and she'd go apologize to Beth for it but the girl needed time to cool off and so did Quinn. Of course, Quinn's cooling off would be trying to get Noah to settle down and stop destroying everything in his room. She turned her attention back to the door and knocked again.

"Baby, please…please talk to me," she said.

She knew it would do no good. It would do no good until he had completely exhausted himself and she could open the door without the threat of something being thrown at her. She waited a few seconds after the last crash and slowly opened the door. Noah was sitting on the floor with his knees curled up to his chest and looking around at the various objects around him. Quinn sat across from him and he crawled over to her lap and curled up in a ball.

"What happened?" she asked.

"I don't know."

"You didn't take your morning medicine."

"I forgot."

"Do you want Rachel to leave?"

Noah shook his head. "No."

"Why'd you get mad?"

"I just felt like it. I felt mad." Noah sighed. "I miss Dad," he whispered.

"Destroying your room won't bring him back, Noah. I know you don't know what to do and I know you can't help being angry, especially when you skip your meds…but all it does is make a mess."

"I know. It just feels better. I wish I was big enough for football."

"A couple years, I promise. Would you want to do baseball this summer? Uncle Finn would help you, I know he would."

Noah shrugged. "Maybe. I think I feel better now."

He snuggled in closer to Quinn and she wrapped her arms around him. He nuzzled his face into her neck and she looked around at the damage done to the room. There wasn't much. Just books strewn everywhere and his lamp was knocked over but nothing was broken or permanently damaged.

"Is there anything else you want to tell me?"

"I think Beth's an alien."

Quinn laughed and hugged her son. "Don't tell her I said this," she whispered, "but sometimes I think you're right."

Noah giggled. "I won't tell her 'cause if I do then she'll get all the other aliens from her ship and they'll erase all our minds 'cause we'll know they're here."

"Good plan. You hungry?"

Noah nodded. "I smell the pizza."

"Try to clean up a little bit, at least get some of the books stacked up and the lamp where it's supposed to be, okay? Then you can come in and have pizza."

Noah crawled out of Quinn's lap and started picking up the books. The blonde stood and leaned down to kiss the top of her son's head before she left his room. She glanced into the living room where Rachel had Jasper still situated on her lap but with his sippy cup and a book and Rachel was reading to him. Jasper looked perfectly content so Quinn sighed and went down the hall to Beth's room and knocked on the door.

"Beth?"

"What?"

"Can I come in?"

"Fine."

Quinn slowly opened the door and peered into her daughter's room. Beth was on her bed flipping through a magazine. She barely looked up with her red-rimmed eyes when Quinn shut the door behind her. The blonde took a space next to her daughter and pushed the curtain of brown hair away from her face. The truth that Quinn had yelled at her daughter replayed in her mind over and over again. It was a truth they all knew, that things would be different if Puck were alive, but it wasn't a truth that Quinn had ever intended to use in that context. But things weren't different. They were the way they were and life had to go on.

"I know you're not Noah's mother. I know that the past couple of years I've asked a lot of you with him but it's because I trust you, Beth. I trust you with him. I trust that you can help him get ready for school so I can do Jasper's exercises and get a few things done before we leave. I know for a fact that you're smart enough to help him with his homework because you make straight A's and I am so, so proud of you for that. But I don't think it's ever taken away from anything you've ever wanted to do, has it?"

"No," Beth mumbled. "But sometimes you do blame me."

"I promise I'll try to stop that. But you have to promise that you'll talk to me instead of yell at me and act like a little diva."

"I promise."

"Listen to me, baby girl," Quinn sighed and wrapped an arm around Beth's shoulders. "Are you listening?"

Beth nodded.

"I know we've got a big extended family and they will always be there for us…but at the end of the day it's the four of us. It's you, and me, and your brothers. I rely on you to help me keep us running and I know it's not fair…it's so not fair but a lot of things in our lives are just not fair. I want you to know that you can rely on me, too, okay? You come to me, you talk to me, anytime. Whatever it is you have to say just tell me, alright?"

"I know…I'll try."

"It's not been easy and it's not going to be easy. We're going to fight and I'll yell but at the end of the day I am your mother and I love you more than anything in the world and I am your rock. Nothing will ever change that."

"I love you too, Mom."

Quinn kissed her daughter's forehead and sighed. "The pizza's getting cold. Why don't you go wash your face and come get some dinner?"

Beth nodded and sniffled, Quinn got up and left her daughter's room. When she got to the living room Noah was on the couch with Rachel and Jasper with a plate full of pizza listening to Rachel read another book. Quinn leaned on the wall and watched as Rachel's eyes lit up at an exciting part of _Peter Rabbit_. Noah tore a small piece off of his pizza and stuck it in Jasper's mouth and the young boy cooed happily with his mouth full of food. Beth slipped by her and went to the kitchen; Quinn followed and paced the floor until Beth had her pizza and a glass of water. The young girl went to the living room and Quinn listened as Rachel finished the last of the story.

"Can you watch your brother?" Rachel asked sweetly.

There was an agreeing "yes" from both Beth and Noah and Quinn braced herself against the counter. She heard Rachel's footsteps coming closer and absolutely dreaded this. She knew what was coming. Rachel couldn't handle this. Rachel didn't want to handle this. She thought Quinn had two perfectly happy children and one that was a little behind but was going to catch up with the rest of them. Rachel would tell her that it just wouldn't work out and she had to leave and maybe this time she'd apologize. All of these thoughts flooded the blonde's mind until an arm slipped around her waist and a chin settled on her shoulder.

"Hungry?" Rachel asked. "The veggie delight smelled really good on the way over here. I might've taken a bite or two while I got Jasper his cup. He did ask me for it, I made sure to have him specify exactly what he wanted. I wasn't entirely sure about the pizza, though. Noah assured me it was fine and fed him a few bites of his own."

Quinn was still bracing herself for the "I think it would be a good idea if I didn't come back after this" but it never came. All that came was Rachel rubbing circles on her back and waiting for Quinn's response. Quinn looked down at the sink and gripped hard onto the countertop.

"Rachel tonight wasn't a onetime thing…it happens more often than I'd care to admit."

"You handled it beautifully."

"I've had a lot of practice. I mean…it's better when Noah doesn't forget his meds…that was actually a mild meltdown compared to a few of them he had before we got all of his prescriptions regulated. But Beth's twelve and going on sixteen it seems like and I really, honestly don't know how it happened but when she storms out of the room it's like looking at you when you'd storm out of glee club. It doesn't help that we live in this neighborhood and I can't afford any better for her than Goodwill jeans."

"Is she good at them? The storm-outs, I mean. I'd be happy to train her in how to properly execute a perfect diva storm-out."

Quinn couldn't fight the smile and she shook her head.

"She's got it pretty well down."

"If you telling me all of this is an attempt to make me reconsider my offer of being here it won't work, Quinn. I told you I would be here and that means through storm-outs and meltdowns and whatever else you need me to be here for."

"For a while," Quinn whispered. "I'm sure you have another Oscar winning movie to shoot next month."

"I'm actually not contracted for anything at the current moment. The next event will be promoting the movie I finished shooting last month and it will be a while before I have to do that."

Rachel tightened her arm that was around Quinn's waist. The blonde couldn't help but lean into the small body next to her. She couldn't deny that it felt really good to have Rachel there pressing against her. She leaned her head over to press the side of her face against the top of Rachel's head and she sighed.

"Please don't screw this up, Rachel."

"I won't."

"Mom, are you guys going…to…"

Quinn whipped around and Rachel immediately dropped her arm and shoved her hands in her pockets when Beth came into the kitchen. The young girl's eyes darted back and forth between the two women.

"I guess…never mind."

"What do you need, Beth?"

"I was just wondering if you were going to come back to the living room or not. I mean…if you're gonna like do whatever then yeah, stay here."

Before Quinn could respond the girl had turned on her heel and was marching out of the kitchen. Quinn groaned and followed Beth down the hallway to her bedroom.

"Nothing happened," Quinn assured her after she shut the door. "Rachel's..."

"Your friend, got it."

"Beth…"

"You don't look at her like she's your friend. You look at her like you used to look at Dad. I don't look at my friends like that."

"You look at Jeremy like that, I'll bet," Quinn said with a soft smile.

"Shut up," Beth mumbled, returning the smile.

"Listen, I don't know what's going to happen but I'll tell you what I told Noah…if anything does happen, if things change with Rachel and me, then you guys will be the first to know. It's barely been a day and a half since I first saw her, though. Trust me, there's a ways to go before anything changes. _If_ anything changes."

Beth nodded. "I guess it'd be pretty cool if my mom dated a movie star."

"And a Broadway star," came from the doorway. "Not to mention my albums."

Quinn looked up and Rachel grinned.

"And she's so modest, too," Quinn giggled.

"I was wondering if I could possibly speak to Beth. If the both of you consent to it, of course."

Quinn turned her attention back to her daughter. "It's up to you."

Beth shrugged. "Okay."

"If she talks too much just tell her that she resembles Barbra Streisand, it makes her speechless."

"What if I tell her I think Streisand sucks?"

"Then it's been nice knowing you, kiddo."

Beth giggled and Quinn looked back to Rachel who looked almost horrified.

"I was kidding," the twelve-year-old said. "I've gone through three copies of _Funny Girl_."

Rachel beamed. Quinn kissed the top of her daughter's head and slipped out the door passed Rachel and down the hall to the living room. Noah was handing over another small bite of pizza to Jasper while his eyes stayed glued on the baseball game that was on TV.

Noah was excited when he found out he was going to have a little brother. He'd been just as excited when Jasper got there and when they brought him home from the hospital. He'd offered to help in any way possible and he really was a great big brother.

Quinn sighed at the thoughts of after the accident. After Puck died Noah went almost into a trance, only breaking out of it to destroy something or throw a fit. The blonde wound up with him in the emergency room three times in two months. There was still a place on the back of his head where hair didn't grow because of the scar tissue when he repeatedly hit his head on his bed frame and had to have thirteen stitches. She got him into see child psychologists and it took four different tries with combinations of medicines to find something that worked. She was still paying the bills from those trips to the hospital and all of the doctor's appointments with her oldest son.

Quinn waited for Jasper to finish his bite of pizza before she picked him up and settled him on the floor and started stretching his legs.

"Rachel talked to me," Noah said after he muted the TV. "She said it was okay if I didn't want her to come over anymore."

"And what did you say?"

"I told her she could come over. She's good at reading books and I told her I was reading _Chronicles of Narnia_ and she said those are her favorites. Jasper liked it when she read _Peter Rabbit_. And I told her 'bout career day and she said if you said it was okay and if I wanted her to that she'd come talk 'bout bein' famous and livin' in California."

Quinn held out her hands for Jasper to grasp on to and sit up then pull himself up. She smiled as he stood and held onto her hands for support.

"If you really want her to come then it's fine with me, sweetie."

Jasper wobbled and dropped back down to the ground, Quinn stretched his legs again and got him to pull up one more time. When he dropped again she stretched him again until she felt a pair of arms wrap around her shoulders.

"I love you, Mom," Beth whispered to her.

"I love you too…but what brought that on?"

Beth pulled away and Quinn turned around and looked up at her. The young girl shrugged and sat on the couch followed by Rachel. Jasper yawned and Quinn picked him up and took him to his room to get him changed and tucked into bed. She pulled the blankets up around his chin and picked a book, _Goodnight Moon_, off of one of the stacks Noah had made. She felt Rachel's eyes on her as she read to her son but she didn't look up. She knew Rachel was standing in the doorway watching her, just like she had always done when Quinn read to Beth.


	6. Chapter 6

**-Chapter 6-**

Yes, Quinn had shocked the hell out of everyone in school and moved in with Rachel. It wasn't until the summer after their sophomore year that she'd done it. Her parents had taken her back but when Rachel saw the tense environment that Beth was being raised in and that Quinn had to endure she insisted that Quinn get out of there. Quinn's parents still drank like fish and Rachel stated that Beth did not need to grow up in an environment that, first of all, was extremely tense and dangerous since Quinn's parents were both drunk half the time and second, the house smelled like Judy Fabray used brandy as a cleaning product and she was worried the baby would get "contact drunk". And she wasn't kidding.

Quinn finished the last line of the book with a whisper and closed it. She reached down and ran her fingers through her sleeping son's hair and smiled when he snored a little.

"Brings back memories," Rachel whispered.

Quinn nodded. She kept the bedside lamp on while she got up and started putting the stacks of books on the small, empty bookshelf opposite the beds. Rachel knelt down next to the bookshelf and straightened up the stacks of books that Quinn shoved onto the shelves.

"It's pointless to organize them," Quinn mumbled.

"Sorry," Rachel sighed. "Just trying to help."

"I know…I know, I'm sorry. I'm just a little on edge right now."

The blonde stood after putting the last stack of books on the shelf and she dusted off her knees. Rachel followed and turned to walk out the door just as Noah came in.

"I need my pajamas," he said as he went to the closet and opened his dresser. "Can we finish my book tonight?"

"Of course, sweetie."

Noah nodded and took his pajamas to the bathroom. Quinn smiled a little and pulled back the covers on Noah's bed and fluffed up his pillows.

"It's going to take me a little while with him," Quinn said, turning to Rachel who had stopped in the doorway. "If you need to leave, it's fine."

Rachel shook her head. "I don't have anywhere to be."

Quinn smiled and turned back to straightening out Noah's bed. She didn't miss the whisper of Rachel's voice when the brunette followed up.

"There's nowhere else I'd rather be."

The blonde's cheeks tinged pink and she sat down on the edge of her son's bed and picked up his book. The young boy came bouncing into the room and up into his bed. Quinn handed over his book and glanced up at Rachel who was still standing in the doorway.

"Do you want to listen?" Noah asked, looking up at the woman. "There's only a couple chapters left but you like the books so you already know what's gonna happen so you can't tell me, okay?"

Rachel nodded and walked into the room and sat down at the foot of Noah's bed. Quinn settled next to her son and wrapped an arm around his shoulders and he started reading. She'd occasionally glance up at Rachel who was looking very intensely and focusing on every word that Noah said. When Noah finished his book he smiled and handed it to Quinn.

"Good job," she said. "Think you're ready to test on it tomorrow?"

Noah nodded. "I'll get the last book from the library, too. The librarian said she'd keep it for me so nobody else checked it out."

"I can't wait," Quinn said with a smile. "Now, time to get some sleep. Say goodnight to Rachel."

Noah smiled and crawled up out from under the covers to the foot of his bed. He wrapped his arms around Rachel's neck and the brunette gasped before bringing her arms up to return the embrace. Quinn was stunned.

"Thanks for the pizza and reading to me and Jasper. And Mom said it was okay if you wanted to come to career day and I think it would be pretty cool."

Noah let go and sat back on his knees. Rachel smiled and nodded.

"I'd love to come to career day. And you're very welcome for the pizza. And I'll be happy to read to you anytime, okay?"

Noah nodded and scurried back under the covers and settled his head down on his pillow. Quinn leaned down and kissed his forehead and shut off the lamp. She grabbed the speaker end of the baby monitor and followed Rachel out of the boys' room to the living room where they sat on opposite ends of the couch with Beth in between them.

"What is this?" Quinn asked when she saw Tyra Banks circa 2008 on TV on what looked to be a repeat of Top Model.

"I dunno," Beth shrugged. "Some biography on that woman. She looks kind of psycho. They showed a clip of her yelling at some girl."

Quinn giggled.

"I met her once, you know," Rachel said. "Well, 'meet' wouldn't be the proper word. It was at a charity event and she started yelling at an innocent bartender because something was wrong with her shoes. When I pointed out they were on the wrong feet she yelled at me about not knowing who she is and where she's been. I'm fairly certain she was quite intoxicated."

Quinn burst out laughing harder than she had in a really, really long time. The sound of Beth laughing just the same was quite possibly one of the best sounds she'd heard in quite a long time. Rachel looked slightly offended which only made the pair laugh a little harder.

"It's not funny! It's really not! Her eyes were bulging out of her head and I thought she might physically assault me! I was traumatized for no reason! I mean, I'm certain that in her condition and with her shoes on the wrong feet I could've out run her but it was so very-will you two stop laughing at me?"

"Oh my gosh," Beth gasped. "Was she always this dramatic?"

"Always," Quinn said.

"I am _not_ dramatic!"

"Says the woman who offered to teach my daughter how to perfect a diva storm-out. Face it Rach, you're a drama queen. Don't worry about it, though, it's part of your charm."

"And it makes me laugh," Beth giggled.

"That, too."

"I should've known I'd get no sympathy from Mini-Quinn. Especially one with Puckerman DNA."

Beth went silent but the smile was still on her face. Quinn wrapped an arm around her daughter's shoulders.

"Rachel dated your dad in high school."

"Really?" Beth looked back to Rachel and the older brunette nodded.

"I encouraged him to sing his very first solo in glee club."

"What was it?"

"'Sweet Caroline', it's a pretty old song, release even before I-"

"He used to sing it to me," Beth cut Rachel off. "Because it's my middle name." The young girl looked down at her lap and smiled. "He never called me by my first name. He called me Sweet Caroline and he would sing that to me every night before I went to bed. He even made a recording of it when he went away to work."

"He went to Troy for a week because their utilities crew went on strike," Quinn said. "She played that CD the entire time he was gone."

"I broke it," she sighed. "The day he…when it happened. I wish I hadn't but I guess there's not much I can do about it now."

Rachel nodded. Quinn saw the look on the star's face that said she didn't know what to say. The clock on the wall ticked to nine and Quinn kissed the top of her daughter's head.

"Bedtime, sweetie."

Beth nodded. "Goodnight, Mom."

Quinn smiled. Beth looked nervously at Rachel and then lunged forward and wrapped her arms around the older brunette's neck. Rachel returned the hug and Quinn again looked on in shock.

"Thanks Rachel…for…y'know."

"No problem, sweetie. Get to bed! Future stars need their rest, you know?"

Beth nodded and jumped up off the couch to run to her room. Quinn looked curiously at Rachel who was looking down the hallway after Beth.

"What did you say to her?" Quinn asked, breaking Rachel's concentration.

The brunette turned her head slowly and smiled a little. She shrugged and got up off the couch. Quinn followed close behind to the kitchen where Rachel was consolidating the pizza into one box and putting the lids back onto the salad bowls and finding places for it all in the refrigerator.

"You have a very bright daughter, Quinn."

"I'm aware of that. What did you say to her that first of all made her give me an unprovoked hug and an 'I love you'?"

Rachel closed the refrigerator door and stared at it. Quinn crossed her arms over her chest and waited. She waited for Rachel to say something, anything.

She waited like she had waited the day that Rachel left. She waited that day for the brunette to come back to her and tell her she was sorry and that she'd stay or they would stay together and find a way to make it work. She'd waited for a month before she moved out of the Berry house and into a two bedroom apartment with Puck where she shared a room with Beth. She waited another two months before she had sex with Puck because, once again, she was drunk and he was there. She found out she was pregnant on September 7th. She waited for Rachel even after that but Rachel never came home. She never called. She never sent a letter. Quinn married Puck on March 22nd. She didn't send Rachel an invitation. Beth's third birthday was April 12th. Rachel didn't acknowledge it. Noah came a month early on April 16th. Rachel didn't know until two days ago.

"Rachel?"

"I…am so sorry, Quinn." Rachel's hand stayed on the refrigerator handle and she stayed facing the white appliance. "What I did to you was completely unforgivable and I'm honestly shocked that you've allowed me to even dip a toe into your life again."

"Rachel, it's…" Quinn stepped forward and Rachel tensed up.

"No…whatever you think it is, it's not. I _left you_, Quinn. Everyone thought Noah, the first one, everyone thought he was a deadbeat father and that he would be the one to run out on you and leave you alone with Beth. Everyone including me." Rachel whipped around, tears streaming. "I'm the deadbeat," she said, her voice shaking. "I'm the one who ran out."

"You had better things waiting for you. You had college, a life, a career."

Rachel shook her head. "It shouldn't have mattered. I should've at least called or sent a letter or something. I know you don't want to play the 'what if' game with me and I don't want to play it either but that doesn't change the fact that things could have been so much different. So much better. Even if you had still married Noah and had little Noah and Jasper…I still could've been here. I could've been here when Noah died. I _should_ have been here, Quinn."

"No one knew what was going to happen."

"I'm aware of that, Quinn. But when the girl who was practically your daughter for two years looks at you and threatens you with bodily harm if you ever hurt her mother again it kind of puts things in perspective as to how deep those wounds really went."

Quinn arched her eyebrow. "Beth?"

"She may not have been old enough to remember much but she's…she's so perceptive, Quinn. She told me she saw the look in your eyes when you talked about me leaving. Your daughter, Quinn, completely defines the phrase 'wise beyond her years'. Some people have old souls…she's one of them."

"How exactly did she threaten you?"

"I believe her exact statement was, 'if you hurt my mom again, I'll club you with your own awards'. She wasn't specific so I'm taking that to mean each one of my awards which is rather frightening since the Emmy is somewhat pointy."

Quinn suppressed a grin and cleared her throat. "I'm…I'm sorry about that. I'm not sure where she gets it."

"From her father, no doubt."

Quinn was silent and the grin dropped from her face. Yes, it had been two years. Yes, outwardly she had healed and she smiled and made jokes…but she never got the chance to really let it sink in. Her priority for the last two years had been getting Beth and Noah adjusted to their new surroundings after they moved out of their nice house in their nice neighborhood to where they were and of course the majority of her attention was focused on Jasper and ignoring the doctors telling her he'd never get caught up with kids his age and her best bet was to put him in a group home. She never had time to grieve. She was either too busy or too exhausted. And now? She still pushed the thoughts out of her head because her focus needed to be her kids, not her.

Rachel took a few steps forward. Quinn took a few steps back and shook her head.

"Stop," Quinn whispered. "Please stop."

"Quinn…Quinn, don't do this. Don't shut me out."

"I'm not."

"What's wrong? It seems like almost every time I bring up Noah you just…shut down."

"Because…it's…my kids. I can't focus on me, Rachel."

"Your kids are in bed. It's you and me right now."

"No," Quinn shook her head again and took a few more steps back. Her feet hit carpet as she backed into the living room. She wouldn't allow Rachel to do this to her…she wouldn't allow Rachel to break what she'd worked so hard to build up over the last two years just because the diva had been around for two days.

"Quinn please…" Rachel took more steps forward.

Quinn stood in the middle of her living room staring down at the floor with her arms wrapped around herself. Rachel's shoes appeared in her line of vision and she stopped breathing. Rachel's hand was wrapped around her bicep and the brunette was still softly begging her to let go.

"I'm here for you, Quinn," Rachel whispered. "I'm here and I'm not leaving."

"Why'd this happen to me, Rachel?"

And with that one question and Rachel's arms wrapping around her, Quinn let go and buried her head into Rachel's shoulder and she tried to keep her sobs quiet. How Rachel had managed to do it, Quinn didn't know. She didn't know how Rachel made her want to let it all go and finally grieve for her husband but something about the brunette's presence was familiar and it took Quinn back to before. Before her life took a turn in a direction she never expected but would never regret.

Quinn wrapped her arms around the short brunette and at the moment she didn't worry about ruining the brunette's shirt that probably cost more than she made in a week, she just worried about herself. For once in a really long time, she worried about herself. She felt herself being pulled back and her knees hit the couch and she dropped to it. Rachel followed and her small strong arms never left their place around Quinn.


	7. Chapter 7

**-Chapter 7-**

Quinn woke the next morning to the alarm clock on her cell phone going off. She found herself in an extremely comfortable position, which was odd because her bed really, really needed replacing and wasn't all that comfortable. Her eyes were fighting to open because they were burning but the second that a body squirmed underneath her and a groan came from that body her eyes flew open. Her head was on Rachel's stomach. Rachel's fingers were in her hair. Quinn's eyes darted around. She was in the living room, they were on the couch. Quinn quickly sat up; Rachel barely stirred as her hands fell away from Quinn's head. The blonde got her phone and shut it off.

She watched Rachel sleep for a few moments from the kitchen and her head ran through what had happened the night before. She'd cried into Rachel's shoulder and poured her entire heart out about not knowing what to do with Jasper and almost missing her husband's funeral and being so scared that Noah would hurt himself and guilty that she had dumped so much on her daughter. She remembered her eyes burning so much she absolutely had to close them and then crying a little more and then that was it.

The blonde sighed and sat down on the edge of the couch and gently shook Rachel's shoulder. The brunette stirred a little and her eyes fluttered open. She gasped when her eyes met Quinn's and sat up quickly. Quinn took her lower lip between her teeth and tried really hard not to think about how Rachel looked exactly the same when they would wake up together as teenagers.

"Good morning," Quinn whispered. "I don't mean to like…rush you or anything but I think you should probably go. I'm not sure I want to explain this."

"Nothing happened…"

"I know," Quinn sighed. "But kids like to assume things."

"Got it," Rachel yawned. "Dinner tonight?"

"I'm going to my boss' for dinner. Tomorrow? I'll cook. I've got stuff I need to use up."

"Okay," Rachel said with a smile. She got up off the couch and stretched, Quinn followed her to the door.

"Thank you, Rachel," the blonde whispered. "For everything."

Rachel nodded. "I'm going to hug you now."

Quinn let out a quiet laugh and wrapped her arms around Rachel's waist and the shorter girl's arms went up around her neck. They stayed a little longer than would probably be acceptable for friends and it didn't go unnoticed by Quinn but it felt good to be held and so what anyone else would think didn't really matter. She finally let go, though, when she realized that Rachel wasn't going to.

"I'll see you tomorrow night," Quinn said.

"Maybe. I might need a plethora of meat and poultry. Perhaps I'll host a barbeque this weekend."

"Stardom has done nothing to get rid of your total dorkiness, Rach."

The brunette smiled and bounced out the door to her car. She gave a small wave as she got in and Quinn breathed in the heavy late-spring air before she shut the door and went to wake her kids to get them ready for school and the babysitter.

Quinn traded shifts with one of the workers in the meat department and sure enough, around two o'clock a short brunette came striding up to the meat case with a huge grin on her face.

"What can I get for you today, miss?" Quinn said with a smile.

"Well I'm thinking of throwing a barbeque this weekend and I'd like to place an order. What do you recommend?"

"Well we have our barbeque specials," Quinn pointed to the LCD display board behind her. "It depends on how many people will be there and what they like."

"I guess I should probably figure that out beyond a friend of mine and her three kids, shouldn't I?"

"It might be a good idea." Quinn glanced around at the almost empty section of the store. It would pick up just before her shift ended but for the moment it was quiet and there were only a few people browsing. "So you really are doing the barbeque thing?"

Rachel shrugged. "I thought it might be fun to invite everyone that's still around. If I'm going to be spending more time in Lima then I should re-establish some relationships."

"Just how long are you planning on staying in Lima?"

"Like I said, I have no contractual obligations at the moment."

Something hadn't sat right with Quinn since Rachel showed up. Rachel had been nominated for an _Oscar_. She'd seen it. She watched that night on TV as Rachel lost the Best Supporting Actress award. But she didn't talk about her career. She had "no contractual obligations". Granted, they had been focused quite a bit on Quinn but Rachel used to love talking about herself and how good she was at what she was doing. Quinn hadn't heard a word of it.

"Can you come by tonight? Nine?"

"Of course. Is everything okay?"

"It's fine, I just wanted to talk."

"Definitely! You can help me plan for the barbeque." Rachel grinned.

Quinn nodded with a smile. She was going to figure this out. A customer approached Rachel and politely asked for an autograph and a cell phone picture and the brunette obliged before turning back to Quinn. Just as she opened her mouth another customer marched up to the meat counter and started ranting in Greek about unsatisfactory lamb chops. Quinn shrugged and Rachel gave a small smile and a wave before she left the store.

As expected, traffic picked up right when Quinn was supposed to clock out and so she slipped away a few minutes early. She could afford it and she felt she deserved it since she'd be working on Saturday and getting double overtime pay. She hurried to the Hudson house and was shocked when Finn opened the door for her.

"We need to talk," he said. "I put off baseball practice for this so you're not saying no."

Quinn groaned. "I know what this is about."

"Then it'll be painless. Come on."

Finn ushered Quinn through the house and she kissed each of her kids on the top of the head before she went into the den and Finn closed the door behind them.

"So Rachel, huh?"

"It's not…" Quinn sighed. "Yeah, Rachel."

"Quinn you know I think you're a good mom and everything but do you think this is a good idea?"

"She wants to be here, Finn. She lasted through one of Noah's meltdowns and Beth being a diva and she knows about Jasper. If she wanted to leave she would've done it. I gave her the chance."

"She lasted through a lot of stuff in glee club, too, but in the end she still left."

"Listen, I know that this is a risk…but…this is the first time I've felt really happy in a long time, Finn. Ever since Puck died. She looks at me and everything she says is sincere and honest. You and I both know that Rachel sucks at lying."

"I just don't want you to get hurt again. It was bad enough when she left and then when Puck…look, Puck was my best friend, Q. I've got like some best-dude code that says I gotta look out for you. I mean, I'd do it anyway if he wasn't my best friend 'cause you're also kinda one of my best friends and I just don't want you to get hurt. Just be careful, okay?"

"I will." Quinn smiled and he opened his arms for a hug. "You have looked out for me, Finn. You have no idea how great you've been and how much I appreciate everything you've done for us. I really would like to give her a chance, though."

"I got it. But if she hurts you…well I can't do anything to her 'cause I'd go to jail and lose my job but I'll probably yell at her a lot or something. Maybe hire the mafia."

Quinn chuckled and reached up to press a kiss to Finn's cheek. "Beth's already said she'll club Rachel over the head with her awards."

"Cool!"

The blonde shook her head. "Rachel wants to have a barbeque this weekend, I'm helping her plan it. I'd really like it if you came so you can talk to her. See for yourself if you think she's telling the truth."

"Totally, you know I never turn down food."

"Some things never change."

Finn grinned and kissed the top of Quinn's head before they left the den and Quinn took Jasper from Kelsey and herded the kids into the van to get them home and washed up for dinner with her boss that night.

Dinner went smoothly, her boss slipped each of the kids a five dollar bill like he always did. Quinn put Jasper's in his duck-shaped bank that Brittany and Santana had given him for his fourth birthday, just like she always did. She got Jasper stretched and exercised, Noah read the first couple chapters of _The Last Battle_, and Beth settled in her room with a book she'd picked up in the library. The house was quiet and Quinn turned on the TV for the few minutes she had before Rachel was to get there. She turned it onto one of the few channels that basic cable provided and it was some entertainment news show. She sighed and dropped the remote because there wasn't anything else on that was worth it.

"_And in our star-watch news,_" the announcer said, "_Oscar nominated actress and singer Rachel Berry was spotted in her hometown of Lima, Ohio, a source reported to us. She was seen at the local grocery store_…" A picture of Rachel leaving Pick-n-Save with her cart full of fruit and vegetables flashed on the screen, "…_as well as visiting who we assume was a friend._" A picture of Rachel knocking on Quinn's front door was next. "_But why has Berry gotten the sudden urge to leave Los Angeles? A source that is close to the star gave us this statement…_"

Quinn's attention was caught as she stared at the screen and a woman's voice came on as the transcript from the phone call scrolled on the screen.

"_Rachel's had some problems. She wants to get out of Los Angeles and away from all of it for a while_," the woman said. "_She wants to clean herself up and she doesn't know if she'll come back to film or even the stage. After her marriage fell apart -_."

There was a knock on the door and Quinn scrambled to grab the remote and shut off the TV. She leapt off the couch and flung the door open, Rachel greeted her with a smile and Quinn tried to wipe all evidence off of her face of what she'd been watching.

"Come in," Quinn opened the door and Rachel stepped in. The brunette dropped her purse and jacket on the couch and sank into it; Quinn joined her and looked Rachel over for any kind of evidence of…well, she wasn't sure. What was Rachel trying to clean herself up from? Nothing had ever been said about drugs or alcohol…

"How was dinner?"

Quinn shook her head and blinked a few times, shaking out any accusations before they made their way out of her mouth. "Just fine, as always. My boss' wife knows how to cook absolutely everything there is to cook. In the year we've been having dinner there I'm not sure she's ever repeated a dish."

"Sounds amazing."

Quinn nodded and there was an awkward silence while she looked at the floor and the walls and anywhere but Rachel.

"Why are you in Lima, Rachel?"

Quinn glanced over at the brunette and she furrowed her eyebrows. "For the reunion."

"The reunion isn't until July. Do you want to try again?"

"Quinn, I don't know what you've heard but I assure you that it's all gossip."

"How about I hear it from you before I hear it from anyone else? If you're here for some rehab program or because…"

"I'm not a drug addict," Rachel said firmly. "I'm not on drugs, I'm not an alcoholic. Why would you believe the tabloids like that?"

"I haven't read any of the tabloids. All I've seen is what was on just now. Some woman said you were a wreck and taking a vacation to get yourself cleaned up and she didn't know if you'd ever go back."

Rachel groaned and rubbed her temples. "Someone is so getting fired for letting that leak."

"So it's true?"

"Listen," Rachel sighed, still looking down and threading her fingers through her hair. "It's true, I needed time away. My divorce was final a few months ago and I need some time to adjust. So, I wrapped on the movie I was shooting and packed my things and flew here. The divorce was really, really messy, Quinn. We were together for five years and everything was really good until the last year or so and I just…I cheated on him. He wanted to take me back but I said no. I had to fight him to get the divorce and things got…really intense for a while. He never hurt me or anything…but it was just intense. I finally had to tell him…I…I had to tell him…"

Rachel started hyperventilating, Quinn scooted over and rubbed soothing circles on the diva's back until she calmed down.

"What did you tell him, Rachel?"

"A year ago I was handed a script for a movie, a teen drama. The part they wanted me in was a teacher mentoring a pregnant, deeply religious teen through her parents and peers rejecting her and…it hit a little too close. I-I don't know what the ending was because I couldn't get through it and I passed on the project. It brought up a lot of things I thought weren't there anymore, Quinn. Feelings I thought had long since withered away. I told him…I told him if he could handle being my second choice then things would work. It was the only way I knew how to get him to divorce me. He wouldn't be able to handle being second best."

Quinn stopped rubbing circles and pulled her hand away. She nervously wrapped her arms around herself and stared at the floor. The tense silence wrapped around her and she knew what Rachel had meant when she said that and her brain was flooded with mixed emotions. And she had no idea what to do with them. Rachel was at least being honest with her. But again she wasn't ready for _this_. She looked up slowly and sighed.

"Rachel…Rachel I'm not ready for this. I…I don't even know if I can…"

Rachel's head snapped up and she started shaking it. "No…no, no! That…that's not what I meant! I mean…it is what I meant, Quinn, but I know you're not ready. I…I honestly had no intention of bringing any of this up for a while, if ever, but you asked and I wanted to be honest with you."

"I appreciate that."

"I don't expect anything from you. I'll take what you're willing to give even though I don't deserve it but I expect nothing. I came back to Lima to figure out who I was and what I wanted and, believe me, you're helping. I don't have friends like this in Los Angeles. They would never invite me to come sit on their couch and just talk. It's always polite invitations to cocktail parties, never anything this intimate. I miss it."

"How long are you staying?"

"I don't know. I honestly don't know. Obviously in a few months I'll have to start doing press for the new movie but until then I don't want to do anything other than…well, sitting here on your couch and talking to you for the next few months would be nice."

Quinn smiled a little and looked down at her fingernails. "I'm glad you're being honest, Rachel. But like I said…I'm not ready yet. Maybe…maybe in a while we can talk about it, after you get to know the kids better and we get to know each other again. I forgave you for leaving but…some wounds run a little deep. A friend is what I really need right now."

"Whatever you want, Quinn."

Quinn brushed her fingers over her wedding ring and nodded. "We need to plan the barbeque," she said, changing the subject and effectively ending the conversation.

Quinn went to the kitchen and grabbed a notebook and she and Rachel started planning out a Sunday afternoon barbeque to be had at the Berry house. Quinn told Rachel everything that had become of their former classmates and how Mr. Schuester was still there and New Directions was still winning awards left and right and were now higher on the social ladder than even the sports teams that Finn was coaching. Rachel was ecstatic to hear that and made sure Mr. Schuester's name was on the list of invitees so she could talk to him about maybe making a few appearances to help him out.

The hug when Rachel left was the same as it had been that morning and Quinn again tried to ignore the fact that it made her feel things she shouldn't.


	8. Chapter 8

**-Chapter 8-**

Quinn got to the Berry house right at two-thirty Sunday afternoon, half an hour before the scheduled time. The remainder of the week had been uneventful, yet almost exciting at the same time. Thursday night Rachel came over for dinner, as promised. It was nothing extravagant, just the macaroni and cheese and hot dogs that Quinn had promised Noah on Monday. Rachel insisted it was the best she'd tasted, despite the fact that it came from a box. She came to the house again on Friday night with boxes of Chinese take-out and Noah curled his nose at it but Quinn made him try some and he insisted they have it as much as possible after he sampled everything. Saturday, Quinn made sure Rachel came into the store at 3:30 so she could spend her break helping her shop for the meat. She pulled out her employee discount card even though she knew Rachel didn't need it. But it was a gesture to thank the brunette just for being there and Rachel smiled and accepted it.

Long story short, things were going smoothly. Noah and Beth had behaved and Rachel was Jasper's new best friend and a new word, "book," was used regularly in Rachel's presence. It had been less than a week but Quinn saw the attachments forming between her children and Rachel and she could only continue praying that Rachel stayed true to her word. She had to trust her.

Rachel answered the door happily and led the four Puckermans through the house. Rachel's dads, Leroy and Hiram, jumped up from their seats in the living room to greet Quinn and she introduced Beth, Noah, and Jasper to them. Quinn had seen the men quite a few times around town but it was always a polite nod and a smile. They'd come to Puck's funeral but there wasn't really time for formal introductions.

After a little conversation Rachel led everyone to the big back yard. There was a long table set up off to one side with plenty of chairs and a small inflatable bouncy-house set up in another corner and Beth and Noah both gasped and tore through the back yard to get to it. Quinn groaned.

"Really, Rachel? A bouncy house?"

"Well there will be other children aside from Beth and Noah and I thought they might want to be kept occupied. I've also hired a well qualified child care provider to keep an eye on them as well as a very good chef to handle the grill. I contemplated a bartender but with children being around I decided against it."

"And here I thought we planned a simple barbeque." Quinn smiled and nudged the brunette.

"My parties are never simple, Quinn. I'm Rachel Berry. I was nominated for an Oscar. If my party was anything less than spectacular then my reputation would be completely ruined."

"Drama queen."

"It's part of my charm, remember?"

"If you hired a live band…"

"Of course I didn't hire a live band! That would be a little too over the top. I hired a DJ."

The doorbell rang and Quinn was left on the patio laughing and trying to hold onto Jasper. After Rachel showed the chef the kitchen and the grill Quinn left Jasper in her care to go to the van to get his stroller. It had been his birthday gift from all of the extended family when he was three, Tina and Artie had orchestrated it and it was an absolute lifesaver for Quinn. It would hold him until he was at least six or seven…but Quinn prayed every night she would be able to sell it before the end of the year because it wouldn't be needed. She took it up around the side of the house and Rachel carefully put him down in it and strapped him in.

"He really likes you," Quinn said.

"I'm a likeable person, of course he likes me."

"And again, so modest."

Rachel turned around and stuck her tongue out at Quinn and the blonde giggled.

By three-fifteen everyone that Rachel had invited was there and the DJ was set up and playing a carefully selected playlist that Rachel had given him. There were a total of five kids in the bouncy house (the two Puckermans, Emily Chang, and Thomas & Tucker Rutherford) and Finn kept trying to sneak in but the child-care provider threw him out since he would've pushed the weight limit way over. Mike had his second daughter, Grace, on his hip and Artie had his and Tina's adopted daughter, Jae, on his lap wheeling her around the patio.

Rachel made a speech before they all started eating, Quinn had to pull her down after about three minutes because Finn was across from her practically drooling over the steak that was on his plate. Halfway through the meal Rachel excused herself when her phone started ringing, everyone looked at Quinn questioningly and the blonde shrugged. Noah took that moment to tug on her sleeve and tell her he had to go to the bathroom so she told Beth to watch Jasper and Quinn led Noah through the house to where she remembered the half-bathroom on the first floor was.

"What are you talking about!" Quinn heard Rachel shriek from the nearby den. Curiosity got the best of her and she tiptoed to the slightly opened door.

"_The HRC charity event in LA, Rachel! You're on the program to sing! How could you forget about this?_" came from the speaker of Rachel's phone.

"Ashley, I did not sign up to do that."

"_The agency did. Rachel if you blow this off there will be some serious backlash. People will think you don't support…_"

"Don't support! I have two gay dads! The world knows this! Why should I have to show up to something I didn't even know I was attending until two minutes ago?"

"_Don't yell at me, I'm just the messenger._"

"I can't, Ashley! It's Tuesday night, I have to be in Lima on Wednesday. I have to be here, it's important."

"_So I'll get you a private plane to pick you up as soon as the dinner is done and get you back to Cowtown USA. What the hell could be so important, anyway?_"

"Career day at one of the elementary schools."

Quinn smiled a little and looked back behind her as Noah got out of the bathroom. She quietly shooed him to go back to the back yard and he shrugged and took off. Quinn turned her attention back to the voices. She felt kind of bad for eavesdropping but…she couldn't help it.

"_That's not on your calendar. How much are you getting paid for that? You can't schedule these things without…_"

"I'm not getting paid anything. I'm doing it for the son of a friend of mine."

Rachel dropped down into one of the chairs and put her phone on the desk and Quinn tried to pull away but she couldn't.

"_Since when do you care about kids? Wait, is this the friend they spotted you with? I've been getting phone calls about that! The tabloids are…_"

"Ashley, if I tell you that I'll go to the dinner will you please shut up? Call Tony, he's the only one I want flying my plane. There's a small airport just outside of Lima, tell him to be there at ten on Tuesday morning and I swear to God, Ashley, I swear I will fire every single person I can if that plane isn't up and running by the time I get to the airport on Tuesday night after dinner, do you hear me? You will be fired, Tony will never work again, even the bag boy will be fired. Got it?"

"_Got it._"

"I do not want to fly out of LAX, find something smaller so I can get out of there when I want to."

"_Will do._"

"Have Chuck pick out potential dresses and I'll pick one out when I get there. I've got to go. I'll call you when I'm on my way."

Rachel hit a button on her phone and leaned forward to rub her temples. Trying to look like she hadn't just overheard the conversation, Quinn knocked on the doorframe. Rachel quietly told her to come in and Quinn stepped inside.

"Everything okay?"

"I have to go back to LA Tuesday night but I swear I'll be here on Wednesday. I'll be tired and look like I've been hit by a bus but I'll be there Wednesday morning. I'm so sorry…I swear no one told me that I had to be there for this stupid charity event. I'll go, sign a prop check, sign some autographs, kiss some babies, and then I'll be right back here to get a few hours of sleep before I go to Noah's school."

"It's fine, Rachel," Quinn said with a sincere smile. "If you say you'll be there then you'll be there. I-I trust you."

Rachel nodded and grabbed her phone and Quinn led the way back out to the party where Rachel apologized for her absence. Dessert was some chocolate thing that Quinn had never heard of that the chef had prepared while they were eating. He set it on fire and Noah was absolutely mesmerized.

The Puckermans stayed at the Berry house to help clean up after everyone left and Quinn, Rachel, Beth, and Noah played a game of Sorry while Rachel's dads played with Jasper and read to him after he repeated "book" at least a dozen times. Rachel enveloped Quinn in a tight hug when they left and invited the Puckermans back for dinner Monday night and but Quinn made her promise not to hire a chef and to let her help do the cooking.

Rachel kept her promise and she and Quinn made dinner together that night while the kids and the fathers Berry kept occupied in the living room. Quinn smiled over at the brunette as she carefully checked the chicken that was in the oven. She and Rachel had done this several hundred times before and somehow, after ten years, they re-established their familiar rhythm quite quickly of silently knowing who was going to do what and the other was ready for it. It wasn't awkward and they didn't once bump into one another and it was just very…natural. Despite trusting Rachel, Quinn kept thoughts that she could get used to this (again) shoved very, very far in the back of her mind.

Tuesday at lunch Quinn checked her phone to find a voicemail from Rachel that she'd landed safe and sound in Los Angeles and would have her phone with her wherever she went. Quinn immediately called her back and Rachel answered brightly on the first ring.

"Hey!"

"How was your flight?" Quinn asked with half a mouthful of sandwich since she hadn't anticipated Rachel to pick up so quickly.

"Wonderful. Tony is an amazing pilot, he's the only one I'll let fly me if I take a private plane. I'm currently trying to figure out which dress I want to wear for tonight."

"Is there anything green? You always looked good in green."

"Hold on."

Quinn waited while she listened to Rachel ask the stylist and the brunette shrieked.

"Oh my gosh, Quinn, he found the perfect green dress! It's amazing. I'll send you a picture tonight. Chuck, I want this one. Anyways, how has your day been?"

"Good, I suppose. As interesting as stocking produce can be. If you're in the market for some more fennel we got a new shipment." Quinn smirked and took another bite of her sandwich.

"I'm still not sure what to do with the fennel I have. I need to look it up and find out. What exactly is the shelf life for it?"

There were shuffling sounds and murmured whispers on the other end of the line and Quinn waited for them to stop before she gave her response. "I have no idea. Do you need me to let you go?"

"Oh, no, it's fine! Chuck has to shorten the dress a little so I've got nothing to do for a bit. So what exactly should I be talking about at career day tomorrow? Do you think they would appreciate my awards? I could have someone go to my house and get them for me."

"Rachel, they're nine-year-olds. The boys want blood and the girls want princesses."

"Hmmm…you know, I think I can pull that off. I know several people in prop departments and I'm sure someone owes me a favor. I'll see what I can come up with."

"Rachel, I don't think you have to…"

"Nonsense! I'm Rachel Berry. I won an Emmy. I don't just go into career day empty handed."

Quinn laughed so hard that part of her Diet Coke shot out of her nose and she choked and sputtered and dropped her phone while she groaned in pain from the burning in her nasal cavity while still laughing.

"Quinn! Quinn are you okay!" came the small voice from Quinn's phone.

"Oh…God. Hold on…just hold on!"

Quinn quickly cleaned up part of her mess and wiped the liquid off of her phone and blew her nose a few times to try and get rid of the burning.

"Quinn, what happened?"

"Sorry…I kind of spit Diet Coke out of my nose," she answered. She kept trying to clean where the carbonated beverage had sprayed to while listening to Rachel.

"Are you okay? What happened? Did someone say something?"

"No, don't worry about it," Quinn chuckled.

"You were laughing at me, weren't you!"

"Possibly."

"You have a knack for laughing at inappropriate times, Quinn."

"That was pretty appropriate."

"Me winning an Emmy is hysterical enough for you to shoot Diet Coke out your nose?"

"Take it as a compliment, Rachel. You're a great unintentional comedienne!"

Rachel grumbled and Quinn giggled.

"Winning an Emmy is very serious."

"Sure thing, Rach. I've got to finish my lunch and call over to see how Jasper's doing. Call me tomorrow morning and let me know you made it in okay?"

"I will. Have a good rest of the day and night, Quinn."

"You too. Talk to you later."

Quinn finished her lunch still giggling.

Rachel sent Quinn a picture on her phone of her in her dress at the HRC event that night. Quinn let out a quiet gasp and she felt her face redden. She pretended not to notice the flutter in her heart or the way her mouth went dry at the sight of Rachel in the long green dress with a neckline that plunged to her waist. Quinn couldn't take her eyes off the picture but she finally pried herself away when the clock struck eleven and she finished cleaning the kitchen and went to bed.

Quinn woke to the sound of her phone alarm and she looked at the screen to see no missed calls or texts. She got Beth up so the girl could take her shower and the blonde got Jasper out of bed and took him to her bathroom to get him his bath. She checked her phone again, nothing. After Jasper's bath she settled him in his chair at the kitchen table while she pulled out the bowls and cereal and as soon as she heard Beth get out of the bathroom she woke Noah and he took his shower while Quinn had an apple and checked her phone again. When Noah was finished with his shower Quinn took her own then while Beth and Noah finished getting ready she checked to make sure Noah had everything in his backpack and she stretched Jasper. Finally, at 7:15 she scrolled through her contacts and hit "call" at Rachel's number. It went straight to voicemail.

_"Rachel Berry's phone, I can't take your call right now but please leave a message and I'll get back to you." Beep._

"Rachel, it's Quinn…you said you'd call…and you haven't…and it kind of scares me that your phone didn't even ring. Call me."

Quinn sighed and quickly finished getting ready. She tried again. Voicemail again. She quickly flipped through the phone book before they left and put the Berrys number into her phone and she called it after she strapped Jasper into his car seat.

"Hello?" a sleepy deep voice answered.

"Mr. Berry? Leroy?"

"Who's calling?"

"It's Quinn. Have you heard from Rachel?"

"I'm not sure, hold on and let me go check her room."

Quinn pressed her phone between her shoulder and her ear as she cautiously drove down the road and waited for Rachel's dad to give her an answer.

"She's not in her room. She said she would be back late last night, didn't she?"

"She did," Quinn half-growled. "I tried her phone twice and got voicemail both times."

"I'll try in a little while and call you back."

"Thank you."

Quinn dropped Beth off first and nervously bit her lip as she looked in the rear-view mirror at Noah who was bouncing excitedly in his seat.

"Rachel's coming, right?" he asked. "She said she would come."

"I…haven't heard from her this morning, sweetie."

"But she said she would come!"

"I know she did," Quinn sighed. She parked in front of Noah's school and the boy stayed in his seat. "Noah, you have to go to school."

"I told everyone she was coming!"

"I know baby, I know you did. I'm going to try to find out where she is."

"I'm not going if she's not gonna be here!"

"Noah you have to go, please get out of the van."

Quinn's phone started vibrating and she fumbled with it as she recognized the Berrys number. Cars behind her started honking and she growled and threw the van into drive and drove to one of the parking lots. By the time she'd done so she had missed the call and she quickly hit redial.

"I'm so sorry," she said when Leroy picked up. "Carpool lane is intense. Did you talk to her?"

"No and I called the airport where she said she was landing and they said they weren't allowed to give me any information even though I knew the code she gave me."

"That's asinine! Has…has there been anything on the news? Can you look it up online?" Jasper started crying, Noah was growling and Quinn was getting agitated. "Mr. Berry, I'm sorry, can I call you back in a little bit? I'm a little pressed for time right now."

"Sure, sweetie. I'll let you know if I hear anything before you call me."

"Thank you."

Quinn dropped her phone in her purse and got out of the van and to Jasper's seat where he was screaming. She felt his legs but could find no cramp.

"What do you need, Jasper?"

The boy only cried harder and so Quinn unbuckled him from his car seat and held him close and he calmed down a little. She felt around his seat for something that could've been poking him and found a block that could've been the culprit and tossed onto the van floor. When he finally stopped crying she settled him back in and wiped his face. By that time the bell had rung and kids were rushing into school and Noah was still sitting in the van and Quinn was officially going to be late for work.

"Noah, you need to go."

"No, she promised!"

"I'll write a note to your teacher but please, please go inside."

"No!"

Quinn groaned and buckled Jasper back into his seat. Her phone started ringing and she reached between the two front seats to get to it. It was Leroy again.

"Hello?"

"I just checked the weather channel. There's torrential downpours all over California, there have been since last night and they're saying there's flash flood warnings everywhere, no planes are leaving the ground from LAX."

"She's not at LAX, though! It's a private plane!"

"I know, sweetie, but they said no planes at all. That probably means the smaller airports, too. I called the airport back and got absolutely nothing. Power has been knocked out all over the city."

"Oh God…what if they took off and…"

"No, no, don't think like that Quinn. We would've known by now anyways. Listen, just go to work and keep your phone with you. I'll call you if I hear anything else."

"Thank you," Quinn sighed before she hung up. "Noah…"

"She promised," the young boy sniffled. "She promised me!"

"Baby, I know. But her dad said that it's been raining all night in Los Angeles and that means planes can't take off which means she probably got stuck there. Noah, I'm so sorry but it's nothing she could help. Maybe she'll get here before the day is over?"

Noah's lower lip trembled a bit and Quinn grabbed a tissue and reached over to dab the tears off of his cheek. He finally took a deep breath and grabbed his backpack and jumped out of his side of the van. Quinn shut the other door and walked around to meet him in a hug. She reached back into the van and pulled a pad of paper and a pen out of her purse and quickly scribbled a note to excuse him for being late and another to his teacher explaining Rachel's situation. Noah took both notes and walked slowly into the school building with his head hung low. Quinn sighed and shut his door then got back into the van. She tried Rachel's cell phone again but with no results. She called in to her boss and told him she'd be late then tried Rachel again. Still voicemail.

Halfway from the Hudson house to Pick-n-Save, Quinn turned on the radio to any news station she could find and when the words "Los Angeles", "private", "plane", and "unable to locate" went out of the speakers and into her ears she slammed on her brakes and momentarily thanked whatever god was listening that there was no one behind her. She pulled off to the side of the road and turned up the radio.

"_Again, a small plane that took off from Los Angeles at about one o'clock this morning has been reported missing. Our sources were unable to get the identities of those aboard the plane or its last known location but we will keep you updated as the day moves along. In sports…_"

Quinn quickly opened her door and lost the apple and cup of coffee she'd had that morning. She grabbed her water bottle and rinsed the taste out of her mouth she grabbed her phone. Her finger hovered over the call button when her phone started vibrating with the Berrys number yet again. Quinn hit the button to answer but didn't say anything.

"Quinn?"

"I…radio…"

"I just saw on the LA Times website…"

"What…what if…"

"I don't know, Quinn."

"What do I do?"

"I don't know that, either." Leroy's voice quivered and that sent Quinn into her own tears but she attempted to sound stoic.

"I…I could come over and wait to see what we hear…"

"You'll just sit here and worry yourself to death, honey. Go to work. I'll call you."

Quinn nodded. "Okay."

Waiting. It was always waiting. Waiting for Rachel to come back. Waiting for Puck and Jasper to come back. Waiting for the helicopter. Waiting for the casket to be lowered into the ground. Waiting for Jasper to wake up. Waiting for Jasper to sit, stand, talk. Waiting for Rachel to come back. It had only been a week. Just a week. It had only been a week but there Quinn sat, still nauseous, and on the verge of panic. What would the kids do? What would _she_ do?

The blonde composed herself enough to get to work and she immediately found her boss and he put her at a desk punching in numbers for inventory for the day so she could be near her phone and the store phone just in case. She called Rachel every half hour. Lunch rolled around and Quinn ate at the desk. Her 3:30 break rolled around and she called the Hudson house and talked to a very solemn Noah who gave soft one word answers and she instructed Beth to keep an eye on him. She talked to Leroy again and neither of them had heard anything. She left work at five and drove to the Hudson house and picked up the kids. Noah was still quiet. Quinn tried to stay strong.

Once at home she settled the three kids at the kitchen table and tried Rachel's phone again and again with nothing but her voicemail. Noah asked her if she'd talked to Rachel yet and Quinn just smiled and said that the brunette's phone probably didn't have battery but they'd hear from her soon. She didn't miss that Beth looked up at her absolutely terrified.

Dinner was quiet and awkward. Quinn knew that Beth knew and that Noah probably had a feeling but was holding his tongue. Jasper even noticed the tension and was unusually quiet for himself the last week. He'd been non-stop babbling happily ever since he first looked at Rachel.

As Quinn was taking the plates to the sink her phone started buzzing and she ran to it and looked at the screen. An unfamiliar number flashed on it and she furrowed her eyebrows as she stared at it.

"Hello?" she answered.

There was static on the other end and the line went dead. Quinn dropped her phone on the countertop, gripped the edge of the sink, and tried desperately not to cry in front of her kids.


	9. Chapter 9

**-Chapter 9-**

After the bedtime routine Quinn tried again to call Rachel's phone and got nothing. She watched TV diligently but all she got was that there were still torrential downpours in Los Angeles and areas were being evacuated because of floods. One blip said they still had not found the plane that was missing. Quinn dozed off on the couch and was startled awake by her phone ringing again and the same unfamiliar number flashed on her screen.

"Hello?" she answered sleepily.

"Quinn!"

Quinn sat bolt upright and gasped. "Rachel!"

"Oh my God, Quinn! Quinn I swear I've been trying to call you all day!"

"Oh…oh God, you're alive! You're alive! Where are you? Are you okay? What the hell happened, Rachel?" The happy tears started flowing and she sobbed a few times before Rachel answered.

"I'm fine! I'm fine! The airport I intended to fly out of is, I firmly believe, the only place on Earth that has no cell phone signal and they absolutely refused to let me use their phones. The director of that establishment will be receiving a very angry letter when I'm through with this."

"Where are you now? D-do you need me to do anything?"

"There was a mudslide near the airport and they evacuated us to a nearby recreation center. The phones weren't working at the time and we were informed that the nearest cell phone tower was struck by lightning. The phones came up for a few seconds a few hours ago and I heard you answer then the power went out again and the line went dead. I'm so sorry, Quinn. I asked for the nearest homing pigeon coop but, after being laughed at, I was informed that there aren't any in the area."

Quinn sobbed again. "I'm just glad you're okay…they said on the news a small plane went missing and I thought…God, Rachel…I thought…"

"I'm perfectly fine, I assure you. Listen to me, Quinn, I'm fine. I'm in a recreation center that smells like sweat and human excrement and it's extremely unpleasant and there's a man leering at me from across the room right now but I am completely unharmed. The moment that we're given the go ahead I'm getting to an airport and coming back to Lima, alright?"

"Okay," Quinn sniffled. "Call me when you can, I don't care what time it is."

"I will, I promise. Can you call my dads? There's a line forming for people who want to use the phone."

"Yeah, definitely. I…I'm so glad you're okay."

"I'll call you as soon as I can."

"Please do." Quinn kept the phone pressed to her ear. Rachel didn't hang up.

"Quinn, I should hang up now."

"Yeah…yeah you probably should."

"Yes."

"I'm really glad you're okay. I…I was really scared."

"I'm so sorry. I tried, I really tried."

"I know you did," Quinn whispered. "I just…I don't know what I would've done if…I don't know."

"I know, Quinn."

"You should go. People are probably going to start forming a mob."

"I should…I'll talk to you later."

"Bye, Rachel.

"Bye."

Quinn waited a few seconds and still heard Rachel breathing before the brunette hung up. She looked down at the phone in her hands and automatically dialed the Berry house and told Hiram what was going on when he answered. He thanked her profusely and Quinn smiled a little. When she hung up the phone she made her way to her bedroom and curled up with a pillow clutched closely to her chest. She didn't sleep or cry or smile, she just stared at the red numbers on her clock radio as they turned from minutes to hours as she waited.

Quinn lay awake until the alarm went off on her phone and she started her day. She made sure to let Beth and Noah know that Rachel was okay and she'd called and that she would be back in Lima as soon as she could. It was just a matter of waiting.

Quinn kept her phone with her the entire day and just as she started her lunch break it started vibrating on the table and Rachel's number flashed on the screen. Quinn jumped and squealed.

"Hey! Where are you?"

"Hello, Quinn! I'm at LAX. The small airport with my plane is shut down for the foreseeable future because the runway was taken over by the mudslide. My flight for Columbus leaves in about," Rachel paused, "an hour and thirty-four minutes. I'll have an hour layover in Chicago but it's fine. I meant to ask you last night but I didn't get the chance…I…I feel so horrible about missing Noah's career day yesterday. Is he okay?"

"He was pretty upset for a while but once he got it he was okay, I think. The kids were just glad that you're okay."

"I promise I'll make it up to him. I have every intention of asking his teacher if I can come in at a later date. My connections in various prop departments really came through for me, I have some wonderful things to show off that I believe will appeal to both genders and are appropriate for the age group."

"I think he'd like that."

"I checked with absolutely everyone I could think of that knows my schedule and my calendar is completely clear until the beginning of August. No charities, no dinners, no appearances. I am not going near an airport until I absolutely have to."

"That's quite a while to spend in Lima."

"I need some time away, I told you. I want to see if I can survive without a Starbucks on every block."

Quinn chuckled and her co-workers looked up at her with smiles. "I give you another week before you go crazy from caffeine deprivation."

"I'll just have to come over to your house every time I need a coffee fix."

"Generic brand coffee over Starbucks? You're already desperate."

"I'd take a cup of coffee with you over Starbucks any day."

Quinn felt her face get hot and she smiled a little and looked down at the table. Her co-workers peered over at her and she turned away from them to hide the blush on her cheeks.

"Sorry, Quinn, I just…"

"No," Quinn whispered. "No, it's fine. I just didn't know what to say. Thank you. I really like it when you're there. Maybe if you don't get in too late tonight, if you'd like to stop by I could have a pot of coffee ready?"

"I'd love to. I'll call you when I get into town, okay?"

"Sounds good. Talk to you later Rachel."

Quinn hung up her phone and could feel the stares of her co-workers on the back of her head. She turned around slowly and they all jumped back to their lunches except for Nicole who grabbed her sandwich and moved to Quinn's table.

"Hi," Quinn said shyly.

"Come on boss, spill it. Are you seeing someone?"

"No, it's nothing like that. She's a good friend is all."

"Uh, yeah, no. I don't blush when my friends talk to me and I don't get all quiet and secretive."

"Nicole, it's very complicated. _She's_ very complicated. We haven't spoken in ten years and a week ago she waltzes back into my life…it's just very complex and delicate right now."

"So you have a history?"

"Yes. From high school, after Beth was born until Rachel left and I didn't hear from her again." Quinn picked at her sandwich and Nicole sighed.

"You holding a grudge against her or something?"

"No, I just want to protect my kids."

"Look boss, I know you miss Puck and everything and I totally get it. Everyone says he was a great guy…but I think you need to be happy. I think if he cared about you like you say he did then he'd want you to do something that makes you happy."

"Don't take this the wrong way but you're…kind of young. You don't have kids…it's not about me, Nicole. The moment I found out I was pregnant with Beth it stopped being about me. Everything is for my kids. I have to do things on their schedule. I won't deny that I still might have feelings for her but if I ever do decide take things a step further with Rachel then it will have to wait until I know they're ready for it."

Nicole shrugged. "I'm just saying, if you have the chance and you want to take it then you should."

"I'll keep that in mind."

Nicole nodded and tucked away the rest of her sandwich in her bag. "Gotta split, my register awaits!"

Quinn smiled and nodded and went back to her lunch.

Rachel called at ten that she'd made it to Lima safely but was extremely tired and still smelled rather funny from having to stay in the recreation center so she was planning on just showering and sleeping. Quinn understood and Rachel promised she'd be there the next night for dinner. The brunette was there right at six-thirty and the first thing that Quinn did when she opened the door was fling her arms around the star and she cried a little into Rachel's shoulder. They stood in the threshold for a few minutes, Quinn's arms around Rachel, and not needing to say anything.

Rachel was there every single day for the rest of the week, whether it was after the kids went to bed or just dropping into Pick-n-Save to see Quinn. Quinn got a day set up with Noah's teacher and Rachel went in and showed the kids how they made fake blood on set and fake bugs. Quinn took the day off and she stood in the back of the classroom and watched as Rachel let the boys play with the fake bugs while she pulled out magic wands and tiaras and a set of clear plastic shoes from the Disney's attempt at making a live-action Cinderella a few years previous.

Beth was officially asked to the spring dance a week before the event and Quinn almost killed Rachel when the brunette snuck Beth out of the Hudson house between the time Beth got there after school and the time Quinn went to pick them up and Rachel bought her a dress and shoes for the event.

"I did something for Noah," Rachel said. "It was only fair I did something for Beth, too."

Quinn quickly got over it when she saw Beth in the dress. The young girl was absolutely glowing and the smile on her face one that Quinn hadn't seen since before Puck had died. Rachel came over the night of the dance and did her hair and makeup. Quinn watched from Beth's bedroom door as the pair giggled and Rachel played with her thick hair, experimenting with different styles. They eventually decided on a French braid and Rachel put just the faintest touch of makeup on the girl. Quinn's eyes burned when she saw her daughter stand and slip on her shoes that matched the pale blue spaghetti strap dress.

"You look so beautiful, baby girl," she whispered through the tears.

Rachel had her camera and was taking pictures all over the place. Quinn got Jasper and Noah loaded into the van and followed Rachel and Beth through town to Beth's date's house. There were more pictures taken and Quinn introduced herself to Jeremy's parents. Jeremy's mother took the pair to the dance and Quinn composed herself enough to follow Rachel home. Quinn got Noah and Jasper settled in the living room to watch a baseball game and she and Rachel sat at the kitchen table with cups of coffee and a large binder Rachel pulled from her bag.

"I need your help," Rachel said as she opened the front cover. "I'm buying a new house and my decorator moved to Europe so I need help picking out furniture."

"Don't you have like three houses already?"

"Two. I have a condo in LA and a townhouse in New York which I'm thinking of selling because I'm rarely there."

"So where are you buying this house?"

"I like this couch." Rachel pointed to a large tan sectional. "It would be perfect for a living room, with maybe this TV…" the brunette flipped to the electronics and pointed out a large flatscreen TV.

"Rachel, where?"

"Here," the brunette said nonchalantly. "If I'm going to be spending a lot of time here then I should have a permanent place of residence. I love my dads but I think it would be excessive to stay with them every time I'm here."

"What about when you have to be in LA?"

Rachel shrugged. "I'd figure something out. What do you think of this dining room set? I like the table with the inserts, it would make dinner parties very easy." Rachel pointed to a dark wood table and chairs that seated up to ten when the three extra leaves were put in.

"Have you looked at anything?"  
"A few. I've found some very nice ones. By far my favorite one is near my dads' house. Four bedrooms, three and a half bathrooms, large dining room and sitting room and very spacious kitchen. There's a basement but it's not furnished. I would probably hire a contractor and have it converted into a livable space, perhaps a recreation room."

"Four bedrooms? Rachel, that's a little much!"

Rachel shrugged. "I'm sure I could find uses for all of them. The master suite is amazing, there's a Jacuzzi and an enormous walk-in closet. So, what do you think about this bedroom set? I'm rather fond of the oak wood." Rachel pointed to a queen sized bed, dresser, vanity, and beside tables set.

"It's beautiful…Rachel, what are you doing?"

"I'm picking out furniture." Rachel flipped through the pages again to kitchen appliances. "I like the look of stainless steel but the black is very sleek. A double oven would be extremely convenient and I think there's space for one."

"I…guess." Quinn was attempting to figure out Rachel's excited expressions because she knew that the brunette wasn't _that_ excited about furniture.

"Maybe you and the kids could come by tomorrow and look at it with me. It's so much easier to pick out furniture once you've seen the space for yourself. I could be completely wrong about the oak looking good in the bedroom. Really, this is why I had a decorator."

"Why not just hire a new decorator? Rachel, I'm not…I don't know anything about furniture. I'm not sure anything in this house matches."

"Well I assume that you'll be spending time there, it would be inconsiderate of me to not ask for your opinion. What if you hate everything I pick out? You wouldn't want to visit and that would be tragic." Rachel grabbed another thinner catalog and smiled. "I think a pool would be fun, don't you?"

Quinn shrugged and nodded and Rachel started flipping through the outdoor catalog.

Quinn was slightly reluctant to leave Rachel with Noah and Jasper when she went to pick Beth up from the dance. Both boys were asleep but there was no telling what could go wrong in the half-hour that Quinn would be gone. She made sure to stretch Jasper's legs extra well and she showed Rachel again how to massage out cramps if he had any before she put him to bed. Noah was fast asleep and Rachel had to push Quinn out the door so she would get there by the time the dance ended at ten.

Beth got in the van with a smile on her face and Quinn swallowed nervously.

"So? How did it go?"

"It was pretty cool, I guess. No one really danced until the very end. Mostly me and Jeremy just sat in the cafeteria and drank punch and talked about how evil the art teacher is. We kind of danced for one song but not really."

"Did he kiss you?"

"Ew! No! Oh my gosh, Mom! No way!"

Quinn smiled. "Just checking."

"He did ask me to be his girlfriend. I don't really know what we're gonna do since like we only see each other at school but I guess it'll be cool. I might let him hold my hand or something."

"Good girl. Don't ever let anyone pressure you into anything, okay?"

"I won't, Mom."

Quinn took a deep breath before she unlocked the front door. She didn't know what she was expecting to find but there was Rachel sitting on the couch with her catalogs spread out and a notepad. The brunette grinned when the two Puckermans crossed the threshold. She jumped off the couch and bounced to Beth.

"So? How'd it go?"

Beth shrugged and smiled. "We didn't even really dance. We just talked about stuff. And Mom already asked, he didn't kiss me but he asked me to be his girlfriend."

Rachel nodded furiously. "That's exciting!"

Beth shrugged.

"Why don't you get ready for bed, sweetie?" Quinn said. She kissed Beth's forehead and the girl bounced out of the living room.

Rachel started cleaning up her catalogs and organizing them into a pile on the floor with her notepad and Quinn dropped to the couch and threw her head back to stare at the ceiling.

"How were things here?"

"Just fine, as I told you they would be."

The couch shifted and Rachel took the space right next to Quinn. "Next thing you know she'll be going out on actual dates with some sleazebag who will want to pick her up in his disgusting car."

"I think you have a few years to prepare for that."

"Doesn't mean it will be easy and Puck's not here to threaten anyone. I know Finn would do it, he loves these kids like they're his."

"Why…why doesn't Finn have children? He would be an excellent father and it's obvious that his wife loves children."

"Kelsey can't have kids; they found out a few years ago. They're on a waiting list for adoption but it could take years. They talked about a surrogate for a while but Kelsey's parents did that when she was really young and the mother changed her mind and kept the baby; she's afraid of that happening to them. Tina and Artie got lucky, it was a friend of Tina's older sister that was giving the baby up for adoption."

"That's…horrible. For Finn and Kelsey, I mean."

"Yeah," Quinn sighed. "There's still hope for an adoption, though."

"Mom?"

Quinn lifted her head and smiled up at Beth. "Yeah sweetie?"

"Just wanted to tell you I'm going to bed, I'm pretty tired."

"Okay. Sweet dreams."

Beth nodded. "Goodnight, Mom. 'Night, Rachel."

Rachel beamed. "Goodnight!"

Beth quietly made her way to her room and Quinn rested her head back again. "She's growing up too fast," the blonde sighed.

"You can't expect her to stay two years old forever, Quinn."

"If she had then that means we would still be in high school."

Rachel was silent. Quinn lifted her head to see the brunette staring down at her hands in her lap and picking at her fingernails.

"It was easier then," Quinn admitted. "It was easier to just do what we wanted."

"It wasn't easy to leave," Rachel mumbled. "It was really hard but…stupid, selfish me did it without looking back."

"Rachel, don't do this."

"No, I need to tell you…I'm not exactly sorry _that_ I left. I'm extremely sorry for _how_ I left. I should've at least tried to make things work or contacted you or at least maintained a friendship. I'm very sorry for what I did to you, Quinn."

"I'm over it, Rachel. You…you've gone above and beyond to show me that you're here _now_ and that's what matters to me right now. So stop this, okay? Just…be here and be my friend _now_."

"Of course. I apologize. I should stop living in the past; you're obviously over it so I should stop bringing it up. It's just…sometimes I like to think about the past and try to figure out what I did wrong so I don't repeat the same mistake again. I have absolutely no intention of leaving like that again."

"I trust you, Rachel."


	10. Chapter 10

**-Chapter 10-**

Quinn gathered the kids up in the van the next afternoon and they went to the house Rachel was thinking of buying. It was extremely spacious and the realtor that was showing them around mentioned that aside from the stairs the entire house was ADA accessible. Rachel had her catalogs with her and each new room she made Quinn pick out a few pieces of furniture she liked. She didn't miss that Rachel's eyes lit up when Beth went into one of the bedrooms and said she liked the view from the window and the fact that bedroom had its own bathroom. The master suite was indeed very large and Rachel had apparently already thought about how she would organize the walk-in closet that could've been another bedroom.

"It's a beautiful house, Rachel. I still think it's a little excessive for someone who will be living in it alone, though."

Rachel shrugged. "I'm Rachel Berry. I won two Grammys. I'm allowed to be excessive."

Quinn rolled her eyes and Beth doubled over laughing.

Rachel signed the papers from the realtor three days later and demanded Quinn help her make final decisions on furniture and appliances.

School ended and so did Beth's short-lived relationship with Jeremy. Rachel showed up at Quinn's house with a pint of ice cream and a box of chocolates sending Beth into a fit of giggles.

"Mostly we just kinda sat there and didn't talk," Beth said. "It's not a big deal. But the ice cream is awesome!"

Quinn convinced Noah to sign up for baseball and Beth wanted to play soccer. Rachel offered to coach either one of the kids' teams and Quinn actually had to stifle her laughter when Rachel asked exactly which sport soccer was. Quinn shook her head and handed Rachel each of the kids' schedules and thanked her for the offer but Finn had jumped at the chance to coach both teams already.

They got Rachel moved into the house with her new furniture. She brought over her old bedroom furniture from her dads house and set it up in the bedroom with the extra bathroom and as far as Quinn knew, she left the other two bedrooms empty. The contractors started work on furnishing the basement, Rachel had decided on a small home gym and an office.

They went to Denny's with Finn and Kelsey to celebrate Noah's first baseball game even though his team lost horribly. Quinn let him get a big stack of chocolate chip pancakes and Finn shared nachos with him. Rachel stayed the night and helped Quinn administer Mylanta to the boy three different times because he kept throwing it up along with his dinner. Finally, around three in the morning, he seemed to have completely emptied his stomach and kept down one last dose of Mylanta.

Rachel and Quinn collapsed on the couch and the brunette rested her head on the blonde's shoulder. Quinn didn't object.

"I was unaware that a nine-year-old's stomach could hold that much," Rachel said. "I would be rather impressed if I weren't slightly disgusted."

"You'd be surprised what kids' stomachs can hold."

Rachel yawned and snuggled a little closer. "Do you mind if I crash on your couch tonight?"

"Nope, it's all yours."

"Mkay."

"I should go to bed."

"Mkay."

Quinn stayed where she was. Her body felt heavy and she really, honestly, didn't want to move. She tried to convince herself that it didn't have anything to do with Rachel snuggling into her side but she knew that part of it was that. The majority definitely was just being purely exhausted. The last thing she remembered was being glad that it was Saturday and she didn't have to get up in three hours.

"Mom?"

There was something poking her shoulder and Quinn grumbled.

"Mom? Wake up."

Quinn opened one eye. "What do you need, Beth?"

"I was kinda like, wanting to watch TV."

"So watch it."

"You and Rachel are taking up the whole couch."

It wasn't until Beth said it that Quinn realized she had a weight on top of her and that weight was Rachel. Rachel wasn't even halfway on top of her. She was fully on top of her with her head on her chest and her arms wrapped around Quinn's shoulders. Quinn gently gripped onto Rachel's shoulders and shook her a little, the brunette groaned.

"Not now, comfy. Sleep."

"Rachel, get up please."

"No. Snuggle."

Quinn glanced up at Beth who was trying to look anywhere but the couch and the blonde sighed.

"I'm sorry, Beth…just…one minute. Rachel, Barbra Streisand is on the phone. She wants to know if you'll…"

Rachel sat bolt upright. "What?"

"Good morning, sunshine."

Rachel looked around at her surroundings and Quinn sat up before the brunette could lie back down. Beth looked between the small space between Quinn and Rachel and the space on the other side of Rachel she finally sighed and dropped to the end of the couch and grabbed the TV remote. Rachel attempted to lean back against Quinn but the blonde shrugged her off and went to the kitchen to start coffee. As expected, Rachel followed.

"Need any help?"

Quinn shook her head and loaded the coffee maker. "I need to talk to Beth."

"What about?"

"What do you think? About just now."

"Why? Nothing happened."

"I just need to make sure she knows that." Quinn took down two cups from the cabinet and Rachel sighed as she pulled out a kitchen chair.

"What if something had happened, Quinn? What would you tell her then?"

"Nothing would've happened. I wouldn't have let it."

"Why are you so worried about this? Would it honestly be that big of a deal if maybe we did go out on a date or maybe we…"

"No, Rachel. It is a big deal. It's a big deal because I don't want my kids thinking I'm trying to replace their father. It's not about me."

"It should be," Rachel mumbled. "Save your coffee. I'll go ahead and go."

Quinn turned in time to see the brunette walk through the living room and say a quiet goodbye to Beth before slipping on her shoes and grabbing her purse. Quinn followed Rachel out of the house and to the brunette's car and she held onto the door when Rachel tried to close it.

"Rachel, I have my kids to think about here. I can't just start dating without talking to them."

"Do you want to date me, Quinn?"

Quinn swallowed hard. Her immediate response was "God yes, Rachel!" but it wouldn't come out of her mouth. The words caught in her throat and Rachel looked like a kicked puppy before she pulled her door shut. Quinn stood standing on the curb and watched Rachel drive away. She slowly walked back to the house and Beth was looking up at her, eyes wide.

"Is Rachel okay?"

"She's fine, sweetie."

"She didn't look fine."

"We had an argument, don't worry about it. And don't worry about this morning, okay? Rachel was just tired and she fell asleep."

Beth furrowed her eyebrows. "I don't sleep on top of my friends. Just ask her out already."

"Well…I…I don't want to do anything that would make you unhappy, sweetie."

Beth shrugged. "I like Rachel. She's nice and Noah and Jasper like her so it'd be cool or whatever if you went out with her."

"I don't think Noah would feel the same…but…there's nothing to talk about." Quinn shook her head. "We're fine, aren't we? The four of us?"

"Noah would be fine. I told you, he likes her."

"Who do I like?" Noah yawned as he padded down the hallway. He crawled up on the couch next to Beth.

"Rachel," Beth said. "You like Rachel, don't you?"

"Yeah, she's cool."

"Mom wants to take her on a date."

"I never said…"

"Can I go, too?"

"You can't go with them on a date, Noah! It's a date because it's just the two of them so they talk about grown-up stuff. Like taxes or something. It's boring. I saw it on TV."

Quinn looked back and forth between her two oldest kids. "Beth, I never said I wanted…"

"Taxes sound boring," Noah said as he hopped off the couch and headed to the kitchen. "You should take her to Chuck-E-Cheese."

"They're too old for that, Noah."

"I'm gonna go to Chuck-E-Cheese even when I'm a grown up!" Noah called from the kitchen. "So where are you gonna go on your date?"

"Noah, I never said I was going to…what are you doing?"

Noah bounced back into the living room with a box of Frosted Flakes cereal and shoved a handful of it in his mouth. He handed the box to Beth and she took a handful.

"Since when do you two eat cereal right out of the box?"

"Since every Saturday since forever when you get up late," Noah said as he reached in. "Dad started it."

"Mom, you're blocking the TV."

"I guess this explains why we go through so much cereal," Quinn mumbled as she made her way to the kitchen to get coffee.

"Ask her out!" Beth yelled after her.

Quinn sighed as she poured a cup of coffee and listened to Beth and Noah chatter in the living room while passing the box of cereal back and forth. So she had the approval of two of her children and if she was honest with herself then she would admit that their approval was all of what she needed to ask Rachel out. However, before she could admit it, she was broken from her thoughts by the cries of her youngest son.

The remainder of the morning was spent with Quinn looking at her phone in between getting things Jasper needed and answering questions about dating from Noah. Every five minutes Beth would poke her shoulder and say, "call her". After lunch she put Jasper down for his nap and checked on Beth and Noah who were on the couch watching TV.

"Call her!" Beth said with a smile as Quinn turned to go back down the hallway. The blonde rubbed her shoulder where she was sure a bruise was appearing from Beth's repeated pokes.

"If I call her will you leave me alone?"

"I'll leave you alone if you ask her on a date."

"What if I don't want to take her on a date?"

"You so want to."

Quinn scowled before she went to her bedroom. She pulled out her phone and stared at it. It was time, wasn't it? She had struggled with it but eventually let go of the past. Rachel had been there more than expected over the last two months and yeah...it was time. Nervously, Quinn sighed and scrolled through her contacts and hit "call". It rang three times before Rachel picked up.

"Quinn…I wasn't…I didn't expect you to call."

"I…yeah. Hi."

"Is everything okay?"

"Will you go out with me?"

Quinn immediately snapped her jaw shut and rolled her eyes at how incredibly high school she sounded, her voice high pitched and the phrase falling out of her mouth before she could really think about it. It had been a _really_ long time since she asked anyone on a date, though.

"I…what?"

Quinn took a deep breath. "Will you go out with me? On a date. Beth won't leave me alone until I ask you and now I've asked you so can you please tell her to stop harassing me?"

"Beth?"

"We talked after you left this morning. She and Noah are fine with it."

"Okay…okay so…how do we do this?"

"Do what?"

"The date."

"Is that a yes?"

"Well of course it's a yes! I would very much love to go out on a date with you! Do you need a babysitter? When should this take place? And where?"

"I…I hadn't thought about it. Noah said I should take you to Chuck-E-Cheese."

"I…Chuck-E-Cheese? I think there's a height requirement."

"So they'd only let you in, damn."

Quinn giggled and Rachel gasped and let out an offended shriek.

"I'll have you know that I am…I'm…Okay, I'm short. Beth being at eye level with me has taken away what little hold I had on my pride regarding my height."

Quinn grinned. "So…a date?"

"Would you allow me to take you out to dinner and a movie? Or perhaps you can come over here and we can cook together and rent a movie."

"I'd rather just come over…if that's okay. I want to be somewhere that I know I can be reached, you know? I don't want to have my phone go off in the middle of a theater."

"I understand. When would you like this to take place?"

Quinn blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "Is tonight too soon?"

Quinn heard Rachel's smile in her response. "I'll have to go to the store. I believe I can pick out an appropriate menu."

"I'll call Finn and Kelsey and see if they can come over and watch the kids."

"So…six?"

"Sounds good."

After saying goodbye and hanging up the phone Quinn felt her stomach drop to the floor. She'd just agreed on a date with Rachel Berry. She hadn't been on a date in over ten years. Noah's conception didn't really count. The last actual date she had been on had been with Rachel right before the brunette left. They'd let Puck watch Beth for the evening and they went out to a nice restaurant and to a movie then back to Rachel's and…Quinn blushed when she thought of the end of the date. Then she panicked because she didn't know if she had anything to wear. The last time she'd gotten dressed up for anything was a co-worker's wedding. She wondered if she even should dress up since all she was doing was going over to Rachel's and cooking dinner, something that was easily done in jeans and a t-shirt. Her thoughts drifted back to the aftermath of their last date and her heart stopped.

Was she ready for this? She would be in Rachel's house…alone. Without children. Alone with Rachel. In a house. A house that contained at least two beds and a couch. Quinn started pacing her bedroom floor, nearly shaking. She could say no…did she want to say no? Her fingers absentmindedly started playing with her wedding ring and she stopped. She looked down at her left hand and furrowed her eyebrows. She wasn't entirely sure if it would be appropriate to wear her wedding ring on a date. A soft knock on her bedroom door tore her gaze away from the gold band.

"Mom?" Beth peeked her head into the door. "Look…I'm sorry if I like made you mad or whatever. It's just…Rachel's really cool and you're always laughing and stuff when you're around her and you look at her like you like her so I guess I just thought you'd want to date her."

"I…I'm going on a date with her," Quinn managed to get out. "Tonight."

A grin spread across Beth's face. "Really?"

"Really." Quinn nodded and attempted to not look like a terrified teenager. "Dinner and a movie at her house. I-I'm going to call Finn and Kelsey to see if they'll come over and watch you guys."

"Are you nervous?"

Quinn was torn between lying to her twelve-year-old daughter and completely breaking down. The only middle ground she saw was to nod a little. Which she did. Beth giggled and darted into the room.

"Okay so you're like just going to her house so you don't need to dress up. She doesn't dress up to come here so I think your nice jeans and a nice shirt would be fine."

"Since when are you the expert?"

Beth shrugged. "I read a lot of magazines. You really don't have to impress her since she like, knows everything about you."

"Good point…" Quinn walked to her closet and started rummaging around. She found her best pair of jeans and a light blue blouse. She held the outfit up for Beth and the girl nodded approvingly.

"Looks good. Put your hair up, you don't want to get it in the food."

"Right…and I need to call Finn. And I should shower."

Quinn wasn't entirely sure how five hours could go by so quickly and so slowly at the same time. At five-thirty Finn and Kelsey showed up and Finn pulled Quinn into the kitchen and once again gave her his "I don't want you to get hurt" speech and she smiled and hugged him and told him everything would be okay before grabbing her purse and giving him money for pizza for dinner. She kissed each of her kids on the top of the head and checked three times that she'd left Rachel's cell phone number and finally she pushed herself out the front door and to her van.

Once in the driveway of Rachel's house Quinn sat and stared at her wedding ring. She had three minutes to make her decision. She looked up and saw Rachel peek out one of the windows and smile. Shakily, Quinn tugged at the gold band and it slipped off her finger and brought it to her lips and kissed it before she tucked it into her jeans pocket and grabbed her purse.

"I love you, Puck," she whispered as she looked up at the sky as she got out of the van. "But I think this is something I really want. I hope you understand." Quinn stuck her hand in her pocket and gave the ring one last squeeze before she knocked on the door and was met with a Rachel Berry smile. Rachel was in jeans and a yellow polo and any apprehensions Quinn had about her own wardrobe vanished.

"Hi," Quinn said with a small smile as she stepped over the threshold.

"You sat out there for quite a while, is everything alright?"

"It's fine…just a little nervous."

"Of course. I hope you'll find the selected menu appropriate," the brunette said as she led the way into the kitchen. "I already prepared some things to snack on while we cook the main course. I recalled that one of your favorite meals was chicken Alfredo so I thought we could make that. I bought a loaf of garlic bread that is being kept warm in the oven because I have yet to learn how to make it myself without setting it on fire."

Quinn smiled. "I never minded having it blackened."

Rachel snorted and pulled out everything she needed from the refrigerator. "Shall we?"

The familiar rhythm of slicing and dicing and boiling and baking wasn't anything new aside from when Rachel was doing dishes while they waited for the pasta noodles to boil Quinn nervously wrapped her arm around the singer's waist; Rachel smiled down at the soapy dishwater and Quinn felt her cheeks tinge red at the sight.

Rachel demanded that she bring out her best dishware and candlesticks if they were going to eat dinner in the dining room but Quinn won out and convinced her that they could eat and watch a movie at the same time so they settled next to each other on the tan sectional in the living room and Rachel flipped through the pay-per-view movie channels and they settled on a romantic comedy.

"The lead actor is a jerk," Rachel said with a mouthful of pasta. "I worked with him at a Relay for Life charity event and wanted to smack him the entire time."

"Don't tell Beth that, she went to see this with her friends and gushed to me about how cute he was."

"Appearances can be deceiving. Like her," Rachel pointed when a minor character came on the screen, "married twice, cheated on both men with their sisters yet is in charge of some organization promoting healthy marriages. And the director of this tried to get me in bed with him when I was married."

"Do you know everything about everyone in Hollywood?"

"Everyone knows everything about everyone in Hollywood. They just know to keep their mouths shut about it."

"Except for you."

"Well, you're special."

Quinn blushed and stuck another forkful of pasta in her mouth.

By the time the movie ended Rachel had her head on Quinn's shoulder and the blonde had slipped her fingers in between Rachel's.

"Dessert?"

Quinn nodded and Rachel took their plates to the kitchen. The blonde took a few deep breaths and fidgeted in her seat and with her bare ring finger. She was grateful that Rachel hadn't tried to make a move other than settling her head on her shoulder but the apprehension of something happening was close to short circuiting Quinn's nerves. When Rachel returned with two bowls of ice cream, one of them fixed exactly the way Quinn liked it, the blonde waited for her to set the bowls on the coffee table before she reached up and grabbed the front of Rachel's shirt and pulled the brunette down on her.

Rachel landed straddling Quinn's lap and the blonde took charge before she changed her mind and she wrapped one hand around the back of Rachel's neck and pulled her in close. Rachel rested her forehead against Quinn's and resisted being pulled in further.

"Are you sure about this?" Rachel whispered.

"I'm sure. Not…not all of it…but…I need to do something before I either go crazy or chicken out."

"Okay. Stop me anytime."

Quinn nodded. Rachel hesitated for just a moment before Quinn felt her relax and then there they were. Rachel's lips were on hers very, very softly. It was more of a brush that a kiss. Quinn reached around Rachel's back with her other arm and settled her hand at the small of the brunette's back; Rachel's hands settled on Quinn's sides. The blonde made the first move to deepen the kiss, darting her tongue out once, twice, and on the third time Rachel opened her mouth and their tongues connected and Quinn was pretty sure her brain exploded.

When Rachel pulled away and breathily started to ask again if Quinn was okay the blonde responded by taking Rachel's bottom lip between her teeth and pulling her back in. The brunette responded with enthusiasm and moved her hands a little higher. Quinn pulled away and kissed down Rachel's neck, the star let out a groan when Quinn sank her teeth into tan flesh. Rachel retaliated minutes later.

The battle of tongue and teeth and lips went on until Quinn's phone went off. Rachel groaned and Quinn reached blindly for her purse and pulled out her phone. Finn's cell number flashed on her screen.

"Finn? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, totally. Noah and Beth just wanted to call to tell you goodnight. Already got Jasper in bed."

"What? What time is it?"

"It's like almost nine."

"Really?"

Finn chuckled. "Yeah, really."

Rachel started placing soft kisses on Quinn's neck and the blonde had to hold back giggles. She gasped when Rachel's tongue darted out and her teeth grazed the skin.

"Okay, let me talk to them real quick."

"Sure thing."

When there was a silence Quinn gently pushed Rachel away and the brunette giggled and pressed on more feather-light kiss to the pale skin before she rested her head on Quinn's shoulder.

"Hi mom!" Noah's voice came on. "Are you havin' fun? Did you talk about taxes?"

"I am having fun, thank you. And no, we haven't talked about taxes. Have you been a good boy?"

"Yeah! We played games and Uncle Finn went and bought us all ice cream from Dairy Queen! I had a Oreo blizzard!"

"Sounds like you had a great night. Keep being good, okay? I'll see you in the morning. Goodnight, I love you."

"Love you too, mom! 'Night!"

Quinn smiled and waited for Noah to hand off the phone. Beth giggled as she answered.

"Hi mom!"

"Hey baby girl, have you been good?"

"Totally! How's Rachel? Are you having fun?"

"Rachel's fine, and yes, I'm having fun."

"Did you kiss her?"

"Uh…" Quinn glanced down and Rachel was stifling a giggle, she'd obviously heard the question. "I…well…"

"Oh my God you totally did!"

"Uh…"

"You're not allowed to kiss in front of me, that's just gross, okay? It was gross when you and dad did it and it'll still be gross so none of that."

"Right."

"Uncle Finn is shaking his head."

Quinn sighed. "Uncle Finn needs to mind his own business. Make sure Noah takes his pills and brushes his teeth, please?"

"I will. Go back to your date!"

"Goodnight sweetie. I love you."

"Love you too, Mom. 'Night."

Beth hung up the phone and Quinn dropped hers to the coffee table. Rachel resumed pressing kisses to Quinn's neck and the blonde grinned.

"When do you have to be home?" Rachel whispered between a kiss and a bite.

"Not too late…Finn and Kelsey…" Quinn lost all coherent train of thought when Rachel's teeth grazed _that spot_ just under her ear. She gasped and Rachel let out a low giggle.

"I'd almost forgotten about that spot," Rachel said. She let her teeth graze it again and Quinn wrapped her arms around Rachel's back. "I hope you don't have to leave now…"

"Few more minutes."

Five minutes later Quinn felt Rachel's fingertips start working the buttons on her blouse and she was running her hands up Rachel's shirt. She shifted just right in her seat and her wedding ring pressed into her thigh and she gasped and pulled her hands away.

"Stop…stop! Rachel…"

Rachel pulled away and clutched her hands together. "I'm sorry…I'm sorry, I crossed a line. I didn't mean to…"

"No…I'm just not ready." Quinn moved her ring around in her pocket to get it to stop pressing into her thigh. Rachel's hand followed and she ran her fingers over the outline of the ring.

"I understand," Rachel said, eyes reflecting the sincerity behind the statement.

"I'm sorry," Quinn mumbled.

Rachel smiled and cupped Quinn's face in her hands and pressed a kiss to her forehead. She moved from straddling the blonde to curling up next to her and resting her head on the blonde's shoulder and draping an arm over her stomach.

"I can wait," Rachel said. "No pressure."

"We'll see how long that lasts."

Rachel nuzzled deeper into Quinn's side. "I think the ice cream melted."

Quinn looked at the two forgotten bowls of now liquid and giggled.

"Would you like some coffee before you go?"

"Sure."

Rachel moved to get up off the couch and Quinn caught her wrist and pulled her in for a quick kiss. Rachel's cheeks turned red and Quinn followed the brunette to the kitchen, stopping at the bathroom. She looked into the mirror and the first thing her eyes went to were a few small hickeys on her neck. She smirked a little and splashed a little cool water on her face before heading to the kitchen and hopping up on one of the barstools at the island.

"Can I borrow some concealer?"

Rachel giggled from the coffee pot. "Yeah, I'll go up and grab it in a second."

Quinn looked at the coffee can sitting on Rachel's counter. It matched the one in her cabinet. Rachel carefully poured the water into the reservoir and set the machine to percolate.

"Didn't take you long to get over Starbucks."

Rachel looked at the coffee can and back to Quinn and shrugged. "I kind of got used to it. Starbucks is overrated anyway. I'll go grab my concealer."

Rachel left the kitchen and Quinn listened to her run up the stairs. The blonde looked at her surroundings and sighed. She and Puck dreamed of having a house like this one day. Although anymore she'd take their old house in their old neighborhood any day. She wouldn't mind a kitchen upgrade, though. The double oven at Rachel's did indeed prove to be very useful.

Quinn smiled when a pair of arms wrapped around her waist and a chin settled on her shoulder. Rachel pressed a soft kiss to her neck and Quinn leaned back into her.

"I have something I need to talk to you about," Rachel whispered. "And it's very imperative that you don't interrupt me and make assumptions."

Rachel let go and moved to stand in front of Quinn. She opened the compact of concealer and tilted the blonde's chin up and started dabbing on the makeup over the small bruises.

"What is it, Rachel?"

"I'm going back to Los Angeles in August. I have to start doing press for the new movie and there are several events I've been scheduled to do. It's not going to be released until November but there are interviews and preview screenings and things I need to be present for and I've signed on to shoot a film to fill my time with. I'll be booked almost solid until the end of October, have a week off, and then I'll be going to Europe for a while to do press there and a premiere party then New York and then back to Los Angeles to shoot a few more things; my agent has booked a few appearances on television shows. It should be over with by the end of November but the main point is that I'm not going to be here."

Quinn nodded a little and Rachel started blending in the concealer on her neck. "Okay…"

"I will be coming back, though, I assure you. If I can steal a few weekends away then I will most definitely do that as well."

"Okay."

"Normally I would find someone to hire to do weekly house checks since that's what I do with my houses in Los Angeles and New York but it's a rather long and drawn out process to do background checks and have cameras installed to make sure all goes well."

"Rachel…"

"Let me finish, Quinn. I am not going to ask you to move in with me right now. I'm going to ask you to move in when I leave. It would be a very big favor to me."

Quinn grabbed Rachel's wrist and pulled her hand away from her neck. "No. I know what you're doing and the answer is no. I'm not doing this…Rachel I said I would take no charity from you!"

"Would you feel better if it were considered a job? You would be an employee of mine."

"No!"

Rachel's offer was unexpected yet Quinn couldn't say she was shocked. She should've seen it coming, she thought. With the four bedrooms and making sure Quinn liked the furniture it was a little obvious that Rachel didn't buy a house in Lima just for herself.

"Fine, then…Quinn, if you won't consider it charity, consider that I would like you to move in with me."

"Rachel! This is our first date! You don't ask someone to move in with you on the first date!"

"Then tell me when I should ask you and I'll do it then."

"You don't get it…" Quinn mumbled and jumped off the barstool. She headed for the front door and Rachel's footsteps followed close behind.

"What's there to get? I…Quinn, just listen to me, please!"

Quinn turned around and her glare met Rachel's pleading eyes. "There's a lot to get. I can't turn my kids' worlds upside down again…"

"Quinn, last week someone got shot two blocks away from you. Two weeks ago there was a meth lab fire within walking distance of your house. Every time I pick up the Lima paper and I see something like that it scares me, okay? It scares me for you and it scares me for the kids. If anything their world would be vastly improved. I've suggested that you move in when I leave because I know that us moving in together that quickly would probably be a very big mistake. This would give time for you to get settled and I would be here sporadically and for short periods of time and it would allow us to get used to the idea and if we decide it would work out then great."

If Quinn believed in such things she would've thought Rachel had perfected her sixth sense to read minds. It was very true that the bad neighborhood a few blocks away from them was starting to leak closer and closer to her home and after the shooting she was scared to let Noah and Beth outside at all. She was wary of the two new residents of the house directly across the street because of it. And she would leave if she could but she couldn't afford a mortgage, she could only afford the income-based rent she was paying plus the utilities and adding that on top of the medical bills…it was a lot. She gripped onto the door handle.

"And if it's not a good idea? If it doesn't work out? If _we_ don't work out?"

"Then I'll move back to Los Angeles and come visit. The house is paid for in full and all you would have to worry about is utilities which I am fairly certain is either slightly cheaper or the same amount that you're paying monthly right now in rent."

"Rachel, you're talking about practically giving me a house. A very nice house."

"No, I'm talking about keeping your children safe and possibly sharing this house with me. Sharing, Quinn. Something we learned in elementary school."

"Didn't you once tell me you failed that subject?"

"I did not _fail_ it. My dads had to come in to have a parent-teacher conference because I refused to share my gold star stickers. With you, I might add. So consider this also a peace offering from that. I'll even throw in a sheet of stickers."

"Rachel…this is a house. Not a gold star sticker."

Quinn saw the look of defeat on Rachel's face and the brunette nodded and backed away. However much she wanted to jump at this chance, the thought of taking charity from Rachel was still not something she was prepared to do. Not at this scale.

"I'm sorry," Rachel said. "I would very much like it if we did do this again, though."

"I'll give you that much," Quinn said with a teasing smile. She turned and Rachel reached up to brush their lips together. "I'll call you tomorrow."


	11. Chapter 11

**-Chapter 11-**

Saturday nights quickly became "date night". Finn and Kelsey didn't mind and by the third date Finn was actually encouraging it. Quinn left her wedding ring in the box with Puck's after the first date. Noah commented that Quinn was always "smiley" on Saturdays because she knew that she would get to talk about taxes with Rachel. The Puckermans' presence was becoming a frequent occurrence at Rachel's house since she invited Kelsey to bring the kids over any day to go swimming which was quickly turning into every day. Quinn joked that she should just drop the kids off at Rachel's and the brunette smiled.

"Perhaps you should," she said.

Quinn left the kids with Puck's mother when Rachel convinced her to go to their class reunion. Puck's senior picture was put on a stand just inside the doorway to the gymnasium. Rachel gripped onto Quinn's hand and gave the blonde a reassuring smile. The pair greeted their former classmates, Rachel with a surprising amount of civility toward the people who were once determined to make her life a living hell. Everyone looked at Quinn the same way. The ones that had stayed in Lima had seen her at Pick-n-Save. The rest had heard through the grapevine.

Despite the glances and the murmured apologies and condolences, Quinn held her head high and kept her smile on. She enjoyed the dinner that was catered and sat with all of the former glee club members that had managed to make it. Kurt had no interest in returning and Santana and Brittany were both busy but Mercedes had managed to fly in with her husband. The blonde wrapped her arm tight around Rachel's waist for the class picture and her eyes flickered down to Rachel's flushed cheeks and genuine smile before the photographer yelled for them to all hold.

When her watch indicated that it was nine o'clock, Quinn said her goodbyes and told Rachel to stay and have fun. She headed for the exit and just as she hit the warm summer air an arm linked with hers.

"Rachel, I told you to stay and have fun. Finn and Kelsey said they'd take you home."

"I'm well aware of that, Quinn. However, I knew it wouldn't be worth it to be there if you weren't. That and I saw Dave Karofsky with a slushie and although he was drinking it I suddenly had flashbacks of ice cold corn syrup and decided it best that I leave before thrown into a panic attack."

Quinn shook her head and unlocked the van. Even though she was only with Rachel for a grand total of five minutes on the way from the high school to the brunette's house it was still a moment with Rachel and Quinn was perfectly content with it.

XXXXXXXXXX

Kelsey started leaving Beth and Noah at Rachel's to take Jasper to therapy and Quinn noticed a significant decrease in Noah's bad days. In fact, he hadn't had a single one since career day. However, as August loomed closer he was less and less excited, especially when Rachel started packing her clothes.

Quinn and Rachel's last date night before the brunette was to depart was three days before her flight left. Quinn was a little nervous, to say the least. Rachel hadn't pushed boundaries and Quinn was appreciative…but it had been over two years. And Quinn was a little more than ready. Rachel greeted her at the door with her signature smile and started to pull Quinn to the kitchen but the blonde took a deep breath and pulled Rachel toward the stairs.

"I have ingredients for pizza," Rachel said. She looked thoroughly confused and Quinn smiled a little.

"I don't care about the pizza."

Rachel blinked a few times. "Oh…Oh! Okay!"

Just like cooking, their familiar rhythm hadn't been lost in the bedroom, either.

Quinn lay awake and completely exhausted. Rachel's head was on her chest and her arm was draped over Quinn's stomach, her fingertips lightly tracing patterns on pale skin.

"I'm going to go for the incredibly cliché line of 'what are you thinking?'" Rachel sighed.

"I'm thinking…that was pretty amazing."

"I'm fairly certain I'll need to find my thesaurus to properly describe my feelings right now." Rachel shifted and Quinn tightened her grip around the brunette's shoulders.

"Rachel, I swear if you get up and actually get a thesaurus right now I will club you over the head with it."

Rachel gasped a little and nervously cleared her throat. Quinn rolled her eyes and pulled the brunette on top of her.

The sheets were even more tangled than they had been and now it was Quinn with her head on Rachel's chest. After five minutes of listening to Rachel's stomach growl but no complaint from the star, Quinn finally suggested they eat dinner. It was nine o'clock when the pizzas went into the oven.

When Quinn finally got home that evening she blushed and mumbled a "just fine" to Finn when he asked her how her night was. Kelsey chuckled and hugged her. Finn had his hand on the front doorknob when they heard it. Three loud bangs. Gunshots. Very loud and very close. Finn pulled Kelsey to the floor, Quinn ran to Noah and Jasper's room, Noah was sitting straight up in bed. Beth came bursting in just as Quinn picked up Jasper who was startled and had begun to cry. There were two more shots and Quinn pulled Noah out of his bed and Beth dropped to the floor and quickly crawled to her mother.

"Quinn!" Finn yelled. "Quinn are you guys okay!"

"We're fine!"

Jasper was crying harder and Beth and Noah were clinging onto their mother for dear life and Noah was whimpering. After a few seconds of silence Finn and Kelsey appeared in the bedroom door and both dropped to the floor.

"I called the cops," Finn said.

Quinn nodded. She refused to move until the blue and red lights were flashing outside of her house and she calmly handed Jasper to Finn and they all went to the living room and waited. Quinn looked out the window at the three police cars and two ambulances at the house across the street. An officer approached the house and Quinn cautiously opened the door. She, Finn, and Kelsey gave statements as to what they heard and before she knew it, it was all over with. She walked the officer to the door and he thanked her for their statements. When she closed the door she rested her forehead against it.

"Finn," she choked. "Finn I know this is a lot to ask…"

"No, it's not," he said. "You can stay with us."

Quinn quickly packed everything she could think of. On her way out the door she looked back at her house and saw it. With the illumination of the street light she saw the perfectly round hole and splintered wood about one inch away from Noah and Jasper's bedroom window and she almost collapsed. Finn drove her van to the Hudson house since she was still too shaken up to do it. She sat in the back with Noah on one side and Jasper fast asleep in his car seat on the other. Beth was in the front seat and Finn's hand never left hers.

They settled Jasper and Noah on the pull out sofa in the den and Finn pulled out the bed from the sofa in the living room for Quinn and Beth. It took quite a while to get Beth to calm down enough to sleep, Quinn sang quietly and rubbed the girl's back until she stopped shaking and was finally lulled to sleep. Quinn tiptoed into the kitchen where Finn and Kelsey had a cup of coffee waiting for her.

"You okay?" Finn asked.

Quinn shook her head. "There was a bullet hole an inch away from my sons' bedroom window. I'm definitely not okay. And it's only going to get worse."

"You gotta get out of there," Finn sighed.

"I know."

Quinn awoke the next morning on the pull out couch to frantic knocking on Finn's front door and the doorbell ringing incessantly. Finn stumbled into the living room in his bathrobe and rubbed his eyes.

"What the hell?" he mumbled. He opened the door and Quinn heard Rachel shriek.

"Where are they!"

"Right here, Rachel," Quinn groaned. "Why are you here?"

Rachel shoved Finn out of the way and practically landed on top of Quinn.

"Have you seen the news! My God, Quinn! I saw it and I went to your house and you weren't there, what is wrong with you? Why didn't you call me?"

"No kissing," Beth mumbled before she rolled over and pulled her blanket up over her head. "Gross."

"It was late, I honestly didn't think about it. I was pretty shaken."

Finn yawned and turned on the TV, a reporter was standing on Quinn's street.

"_The shooting happened around ten-thirty last night, reports say. Officers have released that one man and one woman were shot and killed by another woman. Police haven't released the victims or the alleged shooter's names but they do suspect that drugs were involved in a motive. Back to the studio for weather…_"

Finn hit the 'mute' button and rubbed his temples.

"You guys want coffee?"

Quinn and Rachel both nodded and Finn sleepily dragged his feet to the kitchen and started clamoring around to get coffee ready.

"You're okay, right?" Rachel asked.

Quinn nodded again and Rachel cupped the blonde's face in her hands and kissed her forehead.

"The kids are okay? Nothing happened?"

"We're fine," Quinn whispered. Nothing could be farther from the truth at that moment. There was a bullet hole in her house and she was fairly certain that at least one of her kids was going to need more therapy.

"Don't lie to me, Quinn. Please, stop lying to me."

Quinn looked down at her sleeping daughter and Rachel pulled the blonde up off of the bed and wrapped an arm around her waist as she pulled her to the kitchen. Finn was sitting at the table with his head on his arms snoring. Rachel dropped Quinn to one of the chairs and pulled another to sit in front of her. Quinn leaned into Rachel's offered embrace and nuzzled into Rachel's neck.

"Quinn, I'm going to offer you this again and this time I'm not taking anything but 'yes' for an answer. Move into the house. For the kids. For you. You need this and you deserve this. Please."

Quinn swallowed not only the lump in her throat but she swallowed her vow to not take anything from Rachel and she nodded.

"For the kids."

Rachel kissed the top of the blonde's head and whispered, "thank you."

There wasn't much to be moved since Rachel's house was fully furnished. Finn, Matt, and Mike donated their trucks and their time to the cause, some of the furniture went to the city dump and what was still in good condition went to Goodwill. Beth immediately demanded that the bedroom with all of Rachel's old furniture be hers.

"That was the plan all along, sweetie," Rachel said with a smile.

On moving day, Quinn directed the men to put both Noah and Jasper's beds in one room and hers in another. She left to go back to the old house and pack up a few more boxes of her things in the van and when she returned to put things in her room she found Jasper's bed in it and hers nowhere in sight.

"Rachel!"

The brunette came in from down the hall with a smile. "Yes, Quinn?"

"Where is my bed?"

"I had them put it in the basement."

"Why would you do that?"

"You'll be in the master suite, of course."

"Rachel I can't just…we can't…"

"Why not?"

"Because…it would be inappropriate?"

"What would be inappropriate?" Beth appeared in the doorway on the way to her room with a box.

"Nothing," Quinn said.

"Quinn, I'll sleep on the couch if you insist."

"Why's Rachel going to sleep on the couch?"

"Beth, go put your things away please."

"Are you kicking her out of her room? Why can't you just share?"

"That's what I asked," Rachel chimed in with a smile.

Quinn selected the bedroom closest to the master suite as Jasper's room, Rachel offered to have a door installed connecting them, Quinn politely declined. The stairs presented a problem that Rachel quickly remedied with a call to a company that installed chair lifts. Noah got in trouble three times the day it was installed because he wanted to take it for a ride. By the time Rachel had to leave, absolutely everything was moved in and installed and Rachel was helping Noah pick out a theme for his room so decorators could come in while she was gone.

The night before her flight out of Columbus, Rachel said her goodbyes to Beth and Noah. Jasper smiled up at her when she kissed his forehead before leaving Quinn to read to him and tuck him in. Quinn took the day off the next day to drive Rachel to the airport and she tried really hard to contain herself when the brunette left her embrace to go through security.

"I'll call you as soon as I land…and probably before we take off. And if there's a phone on the plane I'll call you from that, too."

Quinn smiled. "Have a safe flight, Rachel."

It did feel kind of strange to step into the big house without Rachel's bubbling presence. Quinn walked through the living room and kitchen to the back yard where Beth and Noah were splashing in the pool and Kelsey had Jasper in his stroller on the patio.

"People are going to have a hard time believing they're mine, they're so tan," Quinn said looking at her two oldest kids. "Were they good?"

"As always," Kelsey said as she relaxed back into her chair. "Noah had another nightmare, though."

"I'll call his doctor in the morning. I have to take them tonight for orientation for school. How was Jasper?"

"He pulled up on the coffee table today and stood for a while. He tried to take a step but that didn't go too well."

Quinn sighed and leaned down to kiss Jasper's forehead. The four-year-old strained against the belts of his chair and Quinn unbuckled him and pulled him to her lap.

"I really thought he'd be walking by now."

"Give it time, Quinn. His therapists say he's doing better each day."

Quinn smiled and bounced Jasper a few times and watched Beth and Noah closely while talking with Kelsey. Beth and Noah tired themselves out in the pool and Quinn kissed each of their foreheads and shooed them upstairs to take showers to get ready for school orientation.

Noah was starting middle school that year. Beth showed him around where the closest bathrooms were to his teacher's rooms and how to find the gym and where to stand for the bus. Noah looked around in amazement at the building that was much larger and more open than his elementary school. He clung to Quinn's side until they got to his homeroom classroom. The teacher explained that the class switched for each subject but they always stayed together and sent him to explore and he saw a couple of his friends from the previous year and scrambled to them. Beth kept Jasper entertained in the hallway while Quinn talked with Noah's teacher.

"Quinn Puckerman," the blonde said, holding her hand out. "Noah's my son." She pointed to the boy who was checking out the desk that already had his nametag on it.

"Ms. Green, it's wonderful to meet you. I've looked through Noah's files already and I'm so sorry to hear about your husband, Mrs. Puckerman."

Quinn smiled a little. "Thank you. It's been difficult but I think Noah's dealing with things a little better. I just…I want to make sure you know…" Quinn looked around the room at the other parents who were with their kids and she swallowed hard. "I am seeing someone, I'd rather you know about it before Noah brings it up and you're unprepared."

The teacher nodded and Quinn took a deep breath.

"There could be problems if it were to somehow come up with the other students." Quinn was stalling as best she could, trying to get a feel for what the teacher was thinking. "I'm…seeing a woman."

Ms. Green continued nodding but this time with a small smile. "I understand perfectly," she said. "My brother is gay and I fully support him, you have absolutely nothing to worry about. I'll even discuss it with his other teachers if you'd like."

Quinn sighed. "That was better than the reaction I was expecting and I would appreciate that, thank you."

The teacher laughed. "I understand, this is Ohio after all."

"He's shy at first but once he gets comfortable you might have a little trouble with him, just a warning. He got it from his father. There hasn't been anything serious happen but he can be kind of difficult sometimes."

"I taught in an inner city school in Detroit for six years, Mrs. Puckerman, I can almost guarantee you that I've seen much worse than Noah could ever think of doing."

The teacher smiled and Quinn internally sighed in relief of actually getting a teacher that might know what she was doing.

Noah bounced back to Quinn with a smile having thoroughly inspected the room. He gave his nod of approval and clung back onto Quinn. They said their goodbyes to the teacher and headed to the other side of the building to the seventh grade classrooms. Quinn introduced herself to each of Beth's teachers as they went through her schedule and the girl wandered around her classrooms and like any other almost-teenager she seemed unimpressed.

"I've been there for two years already," Beth said on the way back to the van. "All the rooms look the same."

"Yes but this year you don't have to stick with one class, you get to switch on your own."Quinn folded up and hoisted the stroller into the back of the van.

Beth shrugged. "I guess it's exciting."

Quinn hopped into the van and turned the key over, nothing happened.

"Shhh-darn," she growled.

She tried again and again, still nothing happened and she dropped her head against the steering wheel. The van had finally bit the dust, she knew it. She pulled out her phone and called Finn, he was there in fifteen minutes. They tried jumper cables and he looked around under the hood for a loose cable, belt, or anything.

"I knew I should've taken it to Burt," Quinn mumbled as she strapped Jasper into the car seat in the back seat of Finn's truck. "I just didn't have the money."

"Quinn, you know I woulda helped you out. Come on."

"Finn…I ask too much of you already."

The man sighed and checked to make sure the van was locked. Beth and Noah squeezed in on either side of Jasper and Finn took them to their house. Rachel's house, Quinn had to correct herself.

"Thanks again," Quinn said as she hoisted Jasper up on her hip. "I owe you."

"Don't worry about it. I'll tell Kels to give you the keys to her car tomorrow so you can get to work and stuff."

Quinn nodded appreciatively and Finn hugged her before she went inside. She got Jasper stretched and exercised. With her bracing him he took a few steps. She loosened her grip a little just as a test and he was able to take a few more. It was progress.

"Mom!" Beth called from downstairs after Quinn got Jasper tucked in. "Mom, Rachel's on TV!"

Quinn grabbed the baby monitor and shut off the light. She made it down the stairs in record time, Beth had the TiVo paused and she hit play. E! News came on and there was Rachel in a short navy dress with camera flashes going off everywhere. She grinned at the cameras and twisted around as the announcer talked about the new movie and the promotional event that Rachel was attending.

Ryan Seacrest came on the TV with a mic in one hand and Rachel standing next to him with her signature smile.

"God, I didn't even know he was still around," Quinn muttered.

"Mom, he has like six shows," Beth said with a roll of her eyes. "You need to get out more."

The young brunette hit the volume up on the TV and Quinn smiled at the sound of Rachel's voice.

_"First of all," Ryan said, "congratulations on the new movie. It's already predicted to be one of the biggest hits of the year."_

_Rachel bounced a little. "Thank you, Ryan! I was so excited when I saw the script for this that I was on board immediately. I love the director and the whole cast was absolutely wonderful to work with."_

_"I've got to get a little bit of gossip out of you, Rachel, you know I do."_

_Rachel playfully rolled her eyes._

_"So the rumor mill has it that you went back to your hometown for the summer, right?"_

_"I did! I went back for my high school reunion and re-connected with some old friends. I had a great summer, I really did."_

_"Any sparks fly with some old flames? You know everyone is buzzing about your life as a single woman now."_

_Rachel blushed. "I will say that I'm very happy right now."_

_"That's all! Come on, Rachel!"_

_Rachel shook her head. "That's all you're getting, Ryan!"_

_"Aw well maybe next time! Before you go, I have to ask, who are you wearing?"_

_"Hummel and Jones," Rachel said enthusiastically. "Everything from the dress to the jewelry."_

_"Thanks, Rachel."_

_Rachel smiled and stepped back into the crowds._

Beth turned the TV down and Quinn felt herself being nudged.

"You look really goofy right now, Mom," the girl said.

Quinn could feel the ridiculous smile on her face and the redness plaguing her cheeks. She looked down at her fingernails and picked at them, Beth sighed.

"What was the sigh for?" the blonde asked, nudging her daughter.

"It's still a little weird," Beth admitted. "Like, I know you like Rachel and everything and she's cool and I like her…but she's not Dad."

"I know sweetie. Listen, if you don't want…"

"I didn't say that, Mom. I guess it'll just take time or something."

"I understand, baby girl."

Beth snuggled into her mother's side and they found something else to watch on TV until both the young girl and Noah were fast asleep. Quinn got them upstairs and into bed and she settled down into the queen sized bed in the master suite with a book. She didn't pay much attention to it, she glanced at her phone more than the words on the pages.

Quinn jumped a little when her phone started buzzing even though she expected it. She grinned when she picked it up.

"Hey you."

"Hey!"

Quinn could hear Rachel's smile which only made her smile wider. She closed her book and snuggled down in bed.

"I saw you on TV," Quinn said. "You looked amazing."

"Thank you! Mercedes and Kurt really came through for me on the dresses I'll be wearing. I discussed it with Mercedes at the reunion, I'll only be wearing their collection for the promotional tour. How was the rest of your day? Beth and Noah had orientation this evening, correct?"

"It was okay. Orientation went well, I talked to Noah's teacher about us just in case he'd bring it up. The van died, probably for sure this time. Finn couldn't find anything wrong with it but I'll have Burt take a look at it when I can."

"Quinn I wish you'd let me…"

"No."

"Well at least take the credit card I left in the dresser and get a rental. You can pay me back, I promise I'll let you."

"It's fine, Rachel. I'll take Kelsey's car and the hospital has a free taxi service to pick her and the kids up for Jasper's therapy. Trust me, we've use the system before and it works."

Rachel sighed. "Quinn, I fully understand that you're an independent woman and I respect that. I respect that you want to raise your children knowing you worked hard for them, I really do. But I wish you'd let me help."

"Can we please not talk about this right now? I don't want to fight tonight."

"Alright. Let's talk about this, I miss you."

Quinn smiled a little and pulled Rachel's pillow close to her chest.

"I miss you, too. It's…strange, being in the house without you. I feel like I'm invading your privacy or something."

"I'm sure you'll get used to it. It is your house, too, after all."

Quinn sighed. Rachel continued talking about what she was doing in Los Angeles and the film shoot she was starting the next day. She almost drifted off to sleep at the sound of the brunette's voice until she heard Rachel giggle.

"Get some sleep, baby," Rachel said. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?"

"Mkay," Quinn mumbled. "Love you."

The line was silent. Quinn's eyes snapped open.

"Rachel, Rachel, I didn't-"

"I love you, too."

Quinn smiled. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Goodnight, Quinn."

Quinn heard the smile on the other end of the line and let out a happy sigh. "Goodnight, Rachel."


	12. Chapter 12

**-Chapter 12-**

School started on a Thursday and Quinn sent pictures of the kids to Rachel outside of the middle school and Noah in front of his classroom. She refused to cry until she was out of sight but Noah looked so much like his father, even if he was a little small. He was Puck through and through, the way he marched into the classroom with his head held high and oozing confidence and fearlessness.

It was a long day, everyone was trying to get as many outdoor events in their weekends as possible as the summer wound down and the beginnings of fall started to show. Quinn worked half of her day at the meat counter and the other half starting to take down the summer decorations to get ready to string leaves of fall colors. She called Rachel on her breaks, of course, the last of which was cut short when the brunette shrieked and stated she had another call and would talk to Quinn later. The blonde was a little late getting to the middle school to pick up her kids due to a shipping error that landed the produce department with six extra palettes of tomatoes but both Noah and Beth bounced to the car when they saw her.

"I'm so sorry, guys. Emergency in the produce department, you know how it goes."

"It's okay, Mom," Beth said. "I stayed after to talk to the choir teacher, anyway. She wanted to tell me about a summer camp she does."

"Oh yeah? We'll have to look into that. Noah, baby, how was your day?"

Quinn glanced up in her rear-view mirror to see the boy smile wide.

"I like middle school! Ms. Green's real nice, she said I was really good. And the gym teacher, Mr. Hart, he said I'm the fastest runner in the whole class. He said when I get bigger I should play football and I told him that Dad played football when he was in school and he said that I could be really good at it."

"We'll have to see about that, too. When you get bigger, of course."

After picking up Jasper and thanking Kelsey profusely again for the use of her car, Quinn headed back to the house. Her house. Her and Rachel's house. It was still a little strange, a little foreign, but she knew she would have to get used to it.

"Mom, what's that?" Beth pointed out the windshield at a truck pulling a gooseneck trailer with a brand-new shiny, navy blue mini-van being offloaded in front of the house. Matt was standing next to the truck guiding the van driver down off of the trailer and into the driveway. Quinn pulled up to the curb and instructed her kids to stay where they were.

"Matt, what's going on?"

Matt smiled and handed Quinn an envelope. "Is this your new place?"

Quinn nodded as she tore into the envelope; it contained a single sheet of paper with an e-mail printed on it.

_**From:**__ Berry, Rachel B.  
__**To:**__ Lima Chevrolet  
__**Subject:**__ To be hand delivered to Quinn Fabray by Matt Rutherford_

_Quinn,  
I'm aware that you've previously stated you didn't wish for me to help like this but, as is painfully obvious right now, I didn't listen. I've given specific instructions for the van to be left there and under no circumstances are they to take it back. Matt is getting a bonus on this and I would hate for him to lose that should you decide to return it after they leave. I attempted to talk to your insurance agent but unfortunately, that's something you have to handle._

_Please let me do this. You deserve it and so much more. I love you._

_-Rachel_

"Quinn?" Matt asked. "You okay?"

Quinn nodded and felt a strong hand on her shoulder as she folded the letter and tucked it in the envelope. She was so many things in that moment. She was pissed, first of all. Part of her wanted to clench the letter in her fist and demand that they take it back, despite Rachel's instructions. This was too much. A house was one thing because Quinn was practically just a renter and she had time to get used to the fact that it was going to be that way for quite a while. Being surprised like this wasn't something she was prepared to deal with.

"Hey," Matt said, "you deserve this."

"Matt…"

"No, just…just listen. You know I don't say much so just hear me out, alright?"

Quinn nodded.

"Puck was one of the best friends I had and he was a great dad and you're a great mom. You're the best, Quinn. You love your kids and you've done really, really good these last few years. Everybody knows you work your ass off to take care of them. Let someone take care of you now, okay?"

There wasn't much that could be said to argue against that, not that Quinn would. Matt was indeed a man of very few words but she could never bring herself to argue against them. He had been there after Puck died and had been the one to convince her to leave Jasper for the Puck's funeral. They weren't particularly close but Matt was the kind of guy Quinn knew she could trust and despite the lack of closeness, he was always there if she needed him. All of that is what made Quinn nod as he pressed two sets of van keys in her hand and kiss her cheek.

"Plus, I really need the bonus from this. The boys want new mountain bikes."

Quinn smiled and hugged her friend once more before whispering a soft "thank you" before he left with his co-worker. Beth carrying Jasper, and Noah approached her to look at the mini-van in the driveway in awe.

"Is that ours?" Noah asked finally.

Quinn nodded.

"How did-"

"Rachel," Quinn cut Beth off. "I'm not exactly happy about it because I told her not to."

"How come?"

"Because, Noah, I've told you before that working hard for things is the best way to get them."

"But you do work hard, Mom. And Rachel loves you and you're supposed to give things to people you love, right? Like when I give you cards and stuff for Christmas and Hanukkah."

Once again, logic Quinn couldn't really argue with. "Since when are you so smart?"

"Since always."

Quinn took Jasper from Beth and took her kids inside. She got them settled at the kitchen table with a snack and called Finn to have him and Kelsey come pick up the car. Quinn got dinner on the table and waited for the Hudsons outside. Finn took a quick look at the van and gave a nod of approval.

"She shouldn't have done it," Quinn said, the minute he opened his mouth.

"Come on, Q, let someone take care of you for a change."

"I know, Finn."

"Look, I know I didn't want this in the beginning and I was really scared she'd hurt you but she's seriously trying. Don't be too hard on her."

"I just don't want to regret letting her in like this."

"Just be happy, okay? Let yourself be happy. I trust her and you know that's not easy for me."

It was difficult to call Rachel that night and not immediately start yelling about charity and not wanting to take it. It was difficult but Quinn managed to do it.

"Hey, Rach."

"Well this is unexpected. I was fully prepared to be yelled at. I didn't plan for a scenario with you so calm."

"Trust me, it's not easy. Why did you do that, Rachel?"

"Because I care about you immensely. You need a reliable mode of transportation and I have provided you with that. Oprah still does it all the time. She's a very nice woman, by the way."

"So your new goal in life is to become the next Oprah?"

"Perhaps it will be!"

Quinn couldn't help but giggle. "You're insane, Rachel Berry. And thank you, I mean it. I'll figure out a way to pay…"

"Quinn, if you, even for a moment, attempt to repay me for this then I will buy Noah a drum set and a case of Mountain Dew."

"That's just cruel."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

The new van was very, very nice, Quinn had to admit. The automatic sliding doors on both sides made it plenty easier for getting Jasper out and there was more than enough room for his stroller in the back without having to fight to get it to fit. Burt Hummel took her old one and said that it was, in fact, unfixable because the part he would need was discontinued. He told her he'd strip the van for other parts and call it even on any of her outstanding balances. Again, Quinn refused the charity at first but Burt was firm saying there were plenty of parts he could still use, especially the discontinued ones, and that the worth of those outweighed the balance and that really, she was doing him a favor.

August went smoothly, as did September. Quinn watched all of Rachel's interviews and saved the magazine articles and they spoke every day. Jasper was babbling away at any given moment, most of it incoherent, but he was becoming clearer. He wasn't identifying people and the therapists were slightly puzzled but still optimistic since he'd come much further than expected. Noah's first progress report from his teacher showed the best grades he'd had since before the accident with no behavioral problems. Beth had more friends than she could keep track of and the house was usually always buzzing with the sound of teenage girls.

It was amazing the changes that Quinn saw in her kids. Still, she was waiting for it all to shatter. Everything else had and so she braced herself for everything to fall apart again. It wasn't a matter of if, it was a matter of when.

XXXXXXXXXX

Rachel came home for the last week in October and consented to letting Beth have a sleepover on Halloween weekend so her friends could meet _the_ Rachel Berry. Because it was a Friday evening that Rachel's plane got in, Quinn hauled the three kids to Columbus to pick her up. Like it had been when she dropped her off, it was difficult for Quinn to contain herself when she first saw the brunette come bouncing out of the terminal. Noah had brought his report card and Rachel enthusiastically hugged and congratulated him on not only making good grades but making it on the honor roll.

Quinn put Jasper down in bed while Rachel unpacked and showered. The brunette emerged from the bedroom holding a box tightly in her hands.

"I brought something for Beth and Noah," she said softly.

"Rach…"

"I didn't buy a thing, I swear."

Assured that the brunette wasn't lying, Quinn followed her down the stairs and into the living room where they settled between Noah and Beth on the sectional. Rachel turned off the TV and Quinn watched as she took a deep breath and opened up the box. Out of it she pulled two CDs, one with each name on it.

"Our senior year in high school the glee club was needing a little extra money and so we decided to attempt to sell some CDs. There were several songs recorded, only a few made the cut onto the final product but being who I am, I demanded to have everything."

Knowing what was coming, Quinn reached over and gripped onto Rachel's hand.

"Your dad recorded several solos and while in LA I found the CDs and I picked out his solos as well as a few memorable group pieces and burned each of you a copy."

Quinn watched Beth's eyes go wide as she flipped the CD case over and read through the track listings. When she saw what she was looking for she tossed the CD on the coffee table and launched herself onto Rachel. Quinn picked up the case and saw it: 1) Beth - Glee Boys [feat. Noah Puckerman] 2) Sweet Caroline - Noah Puckerman

Noah crawled over Quinn to get to Rachel and give her a hug, the CD clutched in his hand. Beth let out a sob and Quinn reached over to rub her daughter's back. The moment further solidified Rachel's place in her life and in her kids' lives and Quinn prayed harder than ever that the world wouldn't collapse on her yet again. She was still waiting.


	13. Chapter 13

**-Chapter 13-**

For Halloween they dressed Jasper in a clown costume and Noah wanted to be a ninja. Quinn and Rachel took them around the neighborhood and of course to their friends' and families' houses to show off while Beth had fun with her friends at their house. All of the girls went a little crazy over Rachel and she was bombarded with questions about Hollywood and New York City and any other place they knew she'd been. Quinn watched from the kitchen door into the living room as Rachel patiently answered each question and gave makeup and hair advice directly from her stylist.

The look in Beth's eyes was pure excitement. It was one of the first times Quinn had seen it when Beth was with her friends in quite some time. Hearing calls for cookies, Quinn turned back to the kitchen and only a few minutes later there were loud shrieks and Beth yelling at Noah. Quinn got to the living room in time to see Noah, still in his ninja costume, dash up the stairs with a water gun in his hands. She couldn't be too mad at him, though, because it really was harmless and it's what little brothers were supposed to do and to top it all off, he had a huge grin on his face that she really couldn't bear to destroy.

Things felt so natural, so right, that it wasn't until Rachel's last night at home that Quinn realized it had been their first full week of living together and it _worked_. Everything was perfect. How long it would continue to stay that way was still a mystery to the blonde and her brain fought against itself all night between needing sleep and running through everything that could possibly go wrong.

Because of the time differences and Rachel's schedule they couldn't talk every day but it didn't matter because the days blurred together and before Quinn realized it, it was the day before Rachel's scheduled flight in from Los Angeles. Rachel was scheduled to be there on the day before Thanksgiving, Quinn bought everything she'd need for the three Berrys, herself and the kids, and Puck's mother to spend Thanksgiving evening at their house. The plan was to pick Rachel up at the airport with the kids the next afternoon and spend the rest of the evening getting the finishing details ready for Thanksgiving.

Quinn was standing at the kitchen counter preparing dinner, the kids were all in the living room watching TV, when the front door opened. Quinn heard two loud shrieks and a loud, familiar voice announce a surprise. There was even more commotion and more shrieking and by the time Quinn made it into the living room, Rachel was holding Jasper and had tears in her eyes.

"Quinn, how long has he been walking?"

Quinn froze. "What?"

"He just walked to me from the coffee table! How long has he been doing that? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I…he _walked_?"

There was stunned silence echoing through the room as Jasper giggled and wrapped his arms around Rachel's neck to hold onto her.

"Quinn are you trying to tell me that he just…for the first time? To me?"

"I think so, yeah. Beth, Noah, did you see it?"

"We were too excited," Noah said.

Rachel gently set Jasper on the floor and held him up until he got his balance. Quinn knelt to the floor and held her arms out and then, just like he'd been doing it all of his life, he put one foot in front of the other and walked to her. It was too much all at once and Quinn broke down as she held onto her son and Rachel was soon there holding onto her. Jasper showed off as much as possible, walking everywhere Thanksgiving day. No one could get over how much progress he'd made in a short amount of time and Quinn knowingly looked at Rachel. She didn't get a returned gaze, the brunette was busy cutting up Jasper's turkey and guiding his fork into his mouth after insisting that Quinn get to sit down for a meal and not have to feed anyone.

As the weeks drew on, Quinn had to admit she felt happier and healthier than she had in a very long time. Christmas and Hanukkah drew nearer and she started worrying like she did every year about making sure that her kids got at least some of the presents they wanted. She balanced her checkbook twice one Saturday afternoon because something was off. A bill had been forgotten somewhere down the line, she was sure of it. She checked again Tuesday evening and found the mistake. The utilities bill hadn't been automatically withdrawn. Sure it was just a glitch, she called Wednesday afternoon on her lunch break to find out that the service had been discontinued at the request of the homeowner. Rachel.

Quinn took a deep breath. It was alright, she assured herself. She would just talk to Rachel and get the matter straightened out. They had an agreement. That night there wasn't time to discuss it, Rachel had promised Beth's choir teacher she'd help them with their night rehearsal and when she got home she stated she wasn't feeling well and immediately went to bed.

Unfortunately, it turned out to be a short-lived stomach virus that was passed onto all three kids by Thursday morning. Quinn took the day off of work to nurse the foursome back to health, running every which way to get soup, crackers, video games, magazines, books, and whatever else they needed. By Friday afternoon it had cleared up and after a light dinner she sent the kids to bed early (she watched closely and followed as Jasper crawled his way up the stairs by himself) and headed to the basement where Rachel was in her office.

"We need to talk."

Rachel hummed over her mug of tea and took a sip before setting it on the desk.

"You paid the utilities for last month."

"I did."

"Rachel, we had a deal."

"December is a stressful month, Quinn. I thought perhaps the extra cash could come in handy."

"I can manage. Stop doing this."

Just as Rachel opened her mouth something caught Quinn's eye. The closet door was slightly ajar and something rather shiny was sticking out. Quinn stood and before Rachel could say anything she had the door open to reveal a stack of meticulously wrapped presents sitting on the closet floor.

"We had a deal," Quinn punctuated her words. "What about me not wanting to take things from you didn't you understand?"

"What's so bad about me wanting to give you things, Quinn? Why shouldn't I help out?"

"Because they're _my_ kids, Rachel!" Quinn slammed the door shut and turned on her heel to glare at the short brunette standing her ground. "Mine and Puck's! Not yours! I'm supposed to be the one providing for them, not you."

"Puck's dead!"

"Thanks for that." Quinn tore her gaze away from Rachel and started pacing. She balled her fists up at her sides and tried to focus her eyes anywhere other than the other woman.

"It's true, Quinn. He's not here. I am. Let me help you, please!"

"No! I buy them Christmas gifts and _I_ pay the utilities!"

"Why do you refuse to accept that we're in this together?" Rachel growled. "This is _our_ house!"

"I can handle things!"

"Fine," Rachel straightened up and crossed her arms over her chest, "this is _my_ house and as a homeowner I am responsible for paying the utilities."

Quinn stopped in front of Rachel and narrowed her eyes down at the diva. "This is bull, Rachel. When I moved in we agreed…"

"We agreed that you would pay the utilities when I wasn't here. I'm here. We live together, we divide things up in an equal manner."

"No!" Quinn shouted and resumed pacing.

"What is it going to take, Quinn?" Rachel shrieked. "What will it take for you to come to the realization that I'm extremely invested in this relationship and because of that I wish to make a home with you? When you were married to Noah did you not split the bills?"

Quinn stopped again. "That was different," she mumbled, looking at the floor. "We were married. That's what married people do."

"Then marry me, Quinn!"

Quinn felt her entire body tense and her mouth went dry. Rachel's proposal was expected and unexpected all at once. Quinn wanted it but she didn't. She needed it but she couldn't. Dating was one thing. Marriage was another. Images of repeating the words "'til death do us part" resounded in her head. Her husband in a casket. The numerous times her parents' marriage almost fell apart before her mother sat back and accepted that there would always be another woman. Rachel's back as she got into her fathers' SUV and went to the airport. And now…now she knew that things were crumbling and the easiest thing to do would be to run away before they collapsed. It was cowardly and stupid but it was all she knew to do.

"I have to leave," she whispered.

"No…Quinn, don't do this."

"Why not?" Quinn growled and spun around. She locked eyes with Rachel and saw a little fear and a little hurt. She spouted off anything she could that would shut off the rational part of her brain telling her to calm down. "You left me! I…I know I said I got over it and I forgave you but facts are facts, Rachel! You. Left. Me. How am I supposed to know that you won't do that again?"

"I…I just proposed marriage to you."

"That doesn't mean shit!" Quinn hissed. "My parents' marriage doesn't mean shit! My father…"

"I'm _not_ your cheating, alcoholic father, Quinn! How dare you accuse me of such things?"

"Really? How am I supposed to know what you do in LA and New York and wherever the hell else you go? You cheated on your husband, right? History repeats itself, doesn't it?"

"I love you! I chose you over him even though, at the time, I knew I had absolutely no chance to be with you. I chose you over doing another movie right away so I could be here with you and the kids to try and live some kind of normal life. I have chosen you over so much in the last year and I don't regret it! I would rather be here with you than anywhere else. Granted, I will have to go to Los Angeles for a few days every now and then to check up on things and ensure the world that I'm still alive but I will _always_ come back to you, Quinn. Always."

"You'll leave me."

"I will do no such thing. Would you like for me to put in an official retirement announcement? I'll do it, Quinn. I have more than enough money to care for you and for the kids in a comfortable fashion."

"I don't want this," Quinn lied. "I don't want to get hurt again, I don't want my kids to get hurt again."

"Tell me what I have done in the last eight months to tell you that I'll hurt you. I've done nothing but try to help you. I've done nothing but _be here for you_, Quinn. Why isn't that enough for you?" Rachel reached up and attempted to touch her fingertips to the blonde's cheek but Quinn ducked out of the touch. "Why am I not enough?"

"You're too much," Quinn mumbled. She turned and hurried out up the stairs as quietly as possible. Part of her knew she was about to destroy something amazing and she was being completely irrational…and the other parts of her were silent as she rummaged around the closet and pulled out a suitcase.

"Quinn, please don't do this," Rachel said from the doorway.

"It's inevitable." Quinn started pulling clothes out of her dresser and stuffing them into the suitcase.

"No it isn't," Rachel hissed. "Relationships are supposed to be about trust, why do you not trust me?"

"Look, this is good for you; you can go back to LA and live your life."

"I don't want to!"

"Don't lie to me, Rachel."

"I'm not fucking lying!" Rachel hissed. "Don't do this to me! We can talk about this!"

"This wasn't a good idea. This…this whole thing was a bad idea."

Quinn shoved more clothes in her suitcase and heard Rachel's quiet sniffle from the doorway. She didn't stop to look at the woman, just zipped up her suitcase and focused her gaze on the floor as she tried to leave. She couldn't handle Rachel's big brown eyes that were capable of melting her heart. She couldn't handle the pleas she knew would be sent from them.

"Please, Quinn…please don't leave. Not tonight, at least. Let the kids sleep, okay? Don't wake them up…just let them sleep and you can go in the morning."

"I'm not changing my mind, Rachel."

"I'm not asking you to. I'm asking you to let your kids sleep and for you to get a good night's rest as well."

Quinn stared over Rachel's shoulder at the doors she could see of her children's bedrooms and sighed. She dropped her suitcase and reluctantly shuffled back to her bed. Their bed. Rachel's bed. She knew the brunette would insist on sleeping on the couch and Quinn didn't have the energy to argue anymore. She listened to Rachel go downstairs and as soon as she heard the TV turn on the tears started to flow and she cried herself to sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

**-Chapter 14-**

Quinn slept a few hours before getting up and quietly packing the rest of what she'd need for a little while for the kids and then waking them. She growled at the sight of the shiny blue mini-van sitting in the garage but knew she really didn't have another choice. She caught Rachel's gaze from the kitchen once as she walked with Jasper's hand clasped in hers to the garage. The brunette's eyes were swollen and bloodshot and begging Quinn not to go. She lifted Jasper onto her hip and took the two steps down into the garage to load Jasper into his car seat.

"Beth, Noah, let's go."

Beth stood with her hand on Noah's shoulder in the doorway and shook her head.

"No."

"Beth, now is not the time for this. We're leaving."

"This is stupid, Mom."

"I don't wanna go. I wanna stay here," Noah whined.

"Get in the van, I'm not arguing with you."

The drive to Puck's mother's was silent aside from an occasional sniffle from Noah and a sigh from Beth. There were no questions asked when Quinn pulled up in the van, she just unloaded the suitcases into the bedrooms and took the offered cup of hot coffee. She was thankful that the kids were on holiday break so she didn't have to mess with trying to explain the situation to the school. She did, however, have to explain it to Beth and Noah. The reasoning was not well received.

"Sometimes things just don't work out," Quinn said. "People don't get along."

"That's crap, Mom. You were fine. You were happy and you smiled _all the time_. Are you like, afraid of that or something?"

"Why would you be afraid of bein' happy, Mom?"

"It's hard to explain…"

"Whatever," Beth growled. "All I know is that Rachel made you happy and now you're like, sulking all the time."

"I wanna go home."

It hurt. The look on her kids faces was killing her but the irrational part of her brain said better now than later. Better now than when Rachel picked up and left. The house was silent through two sleepless nights and tension filled days. Quinn tried to talk to her two oldest kids but they only shrugged away and mumbled dismissals. Noah had his first breakdown since May that ended up with a hole in the wall from a thrown book. When Quinn finally got him settled down and asleep for the night she perched herself on the couch in the living room with her knees drawn up to her chest and her face buried in her hands. She was unaware that she'd fallen asleep until something nudged her.

"You're in love with her."

Quinn looked up to see Puck's mother hovering over her with two mugs of tea. The old woman sighed as she sat down and handed one mug to Quinn and quietly sipped the other. She glanced at the wall clock to see it read six in the morning.

"Noah loved you," she said. "He loved you with everything he had, Quinn."

"I loved…love him. I still love him and that's why I can't do this. I can't put my kids at risk to lose someone else. _I_ can't lose someone else."

"Do you know what Noah's biggest fear was, Quinn?"

"The Reds losing the World Series?"

Both women chuckled. "He once told me that his biggest fear was you having to do things by yourself if something happened to him. After you found out you were pregnant with Jasper he told me that if something ever happened to him he hoped you'd find someone that could take care of you and the kids that would love you the way he did and care for you the way you deserved."

"You're just saying that," Quinn said, shaking her head.

"No, I'm not. It was exactly what he said when he came over here to tell me that I was going to be a grandmother again. He was terrified because he was thinking about applying to work on the power line crew, you remember? He would've been working with live wires…"

"But he never applied," Quinn sighed. "He said it was too dangerous."

Before any more could be said Quinn's phone blared and lit up on the table. The blonde snatched up the phone and cradled it in her hands when she saw Rachel's number light up the screen. She hit 'ignore'.

"Be happy, Quinn," Mrs. Puckerman said, patting Quinn on the shoulder before scuffling back to the kitchen.

Quinn's phone beeped and she took a shaky breath before dialing to listen to the voicemail.

_Quinn, it's Rachel…I suppose you already knew that judging by the fact that I'm fairly certain you rejected my call. I wanted to inform you that I'm flying back to Los Angeles. My flight leaves in four hours from Columbus. I can't say that I'm not wishing for a large romantic gesture in the middle of the airport where you declare your undying love for me in the most cliché and Hollywood-like scene possible but the realist in me knows it's not going to happen. I'm not putting the house on the market; I'm hoping you'll move back in. Please let me know your decision when it's convenient for you. I'm…I'm very sorry that things couldn't work out. Know that I do love you. I love you and I hope you're happy; that's all I've ever hoped for. Goodbye, Quinn._

Quinn shut her phone and stared at the floor until she heard the soft, slow padding of steps coming from the hallway. She looked up to see Jasper stumbling into the living room, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. The young boy crawled up on Quinn's lap and she cradled him.

"Hey sleepy boy," Quinn cooed, "what are you doing up this early?"

Jasper gurgled and reached for Quinn's phone; she smiled and let him have it. The young boy poked the screen a few times which brought up a picture of Rachel in the green dress she'd worn to the HRC dinner. Quinn quickly tried to snatch the phone away from Jasper but froze.

"Rachel!" he squealed, the brunette's name clear as a bell. "I wan' Rachel!" Quinn sat frozen as Jasper slid off of her lap and hurried to the coat rack to reach up and tug down Quinn's jacket. He whined insistently as he threw the coat toward his mother. "Rachel!" he said again. "Rachel, Rachel, Rachel!"

"Mom?"

Quinn's head snapped to the staircase where Beth and Noah were standing and staring at their little brother. Beth had her lower lip clutched between her teeth; Noah was fidgeting with the hem of his shirt.

"Ra-chel!" Jasper screamed insistently.

Quinn's eyes darted back and forth between her three children and to the coat that Jasper had thrown at her. Her kid's eyes were pleading. Her own heart was pleading. It was then that Quinn finally admitted she'd made the biggest mistake of her life in walking out of that house.

"Watch your brother," she instructed Beth and Noah. "I'll be back later. I'm going to the airport."

"Go get her, Mom!" Beth shrieked as she bounced down the stairs. "And don't screw it up this time."

Quinn nodded furiously as she grabbed her coat and slipped on her shoes. Noah dashed around the living room gathering her purse, phone, and keys and shoved them all to her just as she ran out the door. It was difficult to obey the traffic laws on the way to Columbus, especially since she was lucky that the roads had been recently cleared of the snow, but Quinn wasn't going to risk her life. She tried calling Rachel three times but got nowhere. She parked in a red zone at the airport and flipped off the security guard that told her to move. She checked her watch and if she knew Rachel like she thought she did then the brunette would be getting ready to go through security at that moment. Quinn raced through the airport knocking people out of her way to get to the terminal entrance.

The line at the metal detectors was huge; Quinn jumped up and down a few times to search for a tiny brunette but came up unsuccessful. She was going to have to make a spectacle out of herself but at that moment, she didn't care.

"Rachel!" Quinn yelled at the top of her lungs. "Rachel!"

The crowd started turning and looking but Quinn paid them no attention as she continued shouting. Her voice cracked when she got no response after her eighth yell and tears started cascading. She knew she had lost. Rachel was probably waiting at her gate. She gave it one more half-hearted try which turned out to be a half-sob before giving up. There was a tap on her shoulder and she wiped away her tears to prepare herself for the angry face of a security guard or airport personnel to haul her off.

"Quinn, while that was a lovely gesture," a soft voice said, "I'm afraid you were a bit early. I just got here."

Quinn spun around and looked down into big, brown eyes and a wide smile.

"I thought…"

"Car trouble," Rachel said. "Otherwise you would've had perfect timing."

"Jasper said your name," Quinn blurted out. Her train of thought was moving too quickly to explain how she arrived there but it was the only thing that was coherent. "He…he said your name."

"That's excellent."

"Yours is the first one he's said," she clarified.

"Quinn, I'm slightly confused as to why you would drive from Lima to Columbus to tell me that."

Quinn nodded. "I'm stupid. I'm stupid and I should never have walked out of that house. My kids love you. They really, really love you. They love you and while I was trying to be selfless to protect them I was just being selfish and not thinking that you made them happy. I was just thinking that I didn't want to deal with them being unhappy if something happened and then it just hit me, you know? It hit me that I was trying to put them in this bubble but that bad things are going to…"

Quinn was silenced by Rachel's finger on her lips. "Do you love me, Quinn?"

Quinn nodded.

"And your children love me?"

Quinn nodded again.

"And you know that I would never, ever do anything to hurt any of you. My love for you, for all four of you, knows no bounds and I would love nothing more than to spend forever with you. Are you aware of this?"

Another nod.

"Then do me a favor and stop rambling because I am capable of doing enough of that for the both of us. Plus, I can think of a better use for our mouths at the current moment."

Rachel slowly lowered her finger away from Quinn's lips and looked at her expectantly. Quinn let a smile form before cupping Rachel's face in her hands and pulling her in for a searing kiss.

"Rachel?" Quinn whispered against the brunette's lips when she pulled away.

"Hm?"

"Can we go home?"

"Yes."

Quinn smiled and slipped her arm around Rachel's waist to walk with her out of the airport to the sound of whistles and a few claps.

"Hollywood cliché enough for you?"

"I would've preferred more applause."

"Of course."

XXXXXXXXXX

Eight months later an invitation was dropped in front of Quinn and she smiled down at it lovingly and traced her fingertips over the raised letters. It was perfect. She sat with Rachel at their kitchen table and wrote out names on envelopes to their classmates and their families. Beth carefully slipped the invitations in their envelopes, Noah ran a damp sponge over the flap ("There's no telling what is in that glue!" Rachel had shrieked when he tried to lick it), and Jasper stuck a stamp on the corner of the envelope ("Who cares if they're crooked, Quinn. It will be excellent to help with the development of his fine motor skills.")

"Don't forget," Rachel said as she put a hand over Quinn's wrist after stacking the invitations, "you have homework and a final to study for. Just because it's a summer class doesn't mean you get to slack off."

Quinn playfully rolled her eyes at her soon-to-be wife. "I know. I've been studying, I promise."

"Rachel? What's Mom get when she gets good grades?" Noah asked as he reached for an apple on the kitchen table. "You give me 'n' Beth five bucks for A's on our report card, remember?"

Quinn turned bright red. Rachel matched. Beth fake-gagged.

"I-I'll cook her dinner!" Rachel spurted out.

"You always cook dinner," Noah said, eyebrow arched.

"Well, it'll be a special dinner for just the two of us."

Noah shrugged and hopped off of his chair. "I'd rather have the five bucks," he said as he walked out.

Beth rolled her eyes and took Jasper's hand to lead him to the living room with Noah leaving the two women at the table to finish the stack of wedding invitations.

"Do you really think we need to invite your former management team? I mean…they weren't exactly happy when you fired them all."

"I did not fire them all; I abruptly retired and was no longer in need of a team. I gave each of them excellent letters of recommendation. Having survived working for me they're all sure to get wonderful jobs."

"Okay, Rachel."

Rachel grabbed a sheet of stickers and Quinn rolled her eyes.

"I thought you outgrew the gold stars."

"Of course I haven't but I thought I'd use something a little more appropriate." Rachel flipped the sheet over to reveal a sheet full of gold hearts. "This is assuming I have your heart, of course."

Quinn smiled and leaned over to press a kiss to the corner of Rachel's mouth. "Yeah, sweetie, you do."

The pair stuck the gold hearts next to the return address labels on the envelopes for their wedding invitations. Quinn smiled at the sound of the kids laughing from the living room and Jasper babbling away. She pressed another heart sticker to an envelope and let out a content sigh as she looked into her future, for once, rather than her past.


End file.
